AUTHOR: cHarley (firstname.lastname@example.org)
RATING: FR15, for swearing and innuendo
DISCLAIMER: None of it's mine and I claim no ownership except of the rather thin thread of plot and all the silliness I can carry in a large bucket. All the BtVS/AtS bits belong to Joss Whedon & co.
~ Part 1/1 ~
I've decided I don't like beer, though I find myself staring into my nearly empty cup for inspiration.
Xander's taken to the dance floor, flopping about like a dying fish with arms. Buffy and Riley are shadows in a corner. Giles is either asleep or doing stuff I firmly believe my parents only did once of which I was the result.
Dangerous thought, but....I wonder what Spike is doing? Wonder where he is? I think I'll go find him.
Oo. Here comes Xander. I'll just tell him I'm going.
"Xander. I'm going."
"K. Be safe. Bye."
Hmph. He wouldn't have noticed me gone. If I'm turned tonight, I'll eat him first.
Oh. It's cold out here. Mebbe I'm just showing too much skin. Mmm...but I like these clothes. Now let me see...We always seem to find him iiiiiiiinnnnnnn....this cemetry. He'll be in one of the mausoleums...nope not here...next!
Not in here neither..hmmmm.
"Is there something I can help you with pet?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! SPIKE! Fuck!!"
Spike blinks at me before he speaks. "Pet? Did you just swear?"
"Yes. I said fuck."
"Yes I am. You," She said trying to pick which Spike she should poke, "are a vampire." Ahh. Found him. The middle one. "The bottom of my beer glass gave me the inspiration to find you. Everyone else is stupid."
"I'm not stupid."
He's so smug and amused. "Don't think I can't see how much I amuse you Mr. Sexy British Vampire. The bottom of my beer glass also inspired me to tell that I think you are a studly with a...a sexy arse and beautiful blue eyes and a yummy mouth begging to be kissed and-and...and a very shaggable bod. Yup that's what the bottom of my beer glass inspired me to tell you."
He chuckles then he says, "So you think I'm sexy?"
"Darn tootin'. It's kinda sad I'm gonna hate myself tomorrow. Even more when I remember this meeting and conversation."
"I wouldn't want that pet. Sober yourself up so we can have this little chat and you'll remember it. And mebbe I'll tell you that you have a sexy little body yourself."
"Nope. No I don't. You are a delusional, maniacle, homicidal vampire. You're deranged."
"I am not delusional," he said indignantly. "And you are sexy. Anyway you're drunk. What would you know?"
"Oh. You're right. Ok so I'll believe you. I'm sexy. But I'm still not gonna like remembering this tomorrow."
"What do you think the bottom of your beer glass would inspire you to do?"
"I'll ask it."
Spike threw back his head and laughed when I pulled the glass out of my handbag. "Well?" I asked. "It inspires me to..."
"Wilow. I'm taking you home."
"Angel? Oh. Party Spike! We can have a party now."
Spike chuckled again.
"Mmm. I like your laugh Spike. Why are you here Angel?"
"Why *are* you here ya big nancy?"
"Spike. We're going. Willow..."
"Wants to jump his sexy body."
Spike grinned. Angel gawked.
"So Angel why don't you just..."
Angels fist slammed into Spikes mouth stunning him. "She isn't yours to play with Spike. She's drunk, not Drucilla. She won't be like this tomorrow."
Spike tackled Angel, snarling. "Do you think I have so little respect for Willow that I'd actually let her jump me?"
More fists and wrestling. Clothes were discarded and shredded during their battle.
I was getting hot. They were fighting over me! Two dead sexy, no pun intended, men were fighting over me and not because of a spell.
I'm gonna trust the bottom of my beer cup more often. This was the best inspiration I have ever had.
But I want Spike to win. Yay Spike!
So they fought. I enjoyed it and began to sober up, and worry as neither of them seemed to show any signs of tiring.
"Stop! Stop!" I shouted. "If you keep fighting I'll never babble at either one of you again."
They stopped and looked up at me. "I'm sober now Angel. Thank you. I have seen the error of my ways." I turned and began walking away. Behind me, though they thought they were being quiet, I heard them both following me home. I got to the door of my new apartment and invited Spike in. Angel's mouth was working but his vocal chords weren't. His jaw just flapped as smug Spike stepped into my new apartment. "Angel you were invited in yesterday when you helped me move so stop catching....erm...bugs."
So he came inside and they both sat on the sofa and made themselves comfy. I found two bags of blood in the fridge that Angel had left behind the day before and gave them each a warm cup of blood but before either of them got a chance to take a drink three flares flew through the window by the door. It was followed by several men clad in black clothes. Spike and Angel protected me and pushed me toward the window. Spike draped me over his shoulder and climbed out the window. Angel followed.
"So Buff, that's why the apartment is trashed and why I'm at the old mansion with Spike...huh? Where's Angel? Erm - oh yeah. He went to get some food for him and Spike from Willy....Oh. Ok. Yes. I'll remind him about your date tonight...No I'm not sure about where you're going...Yes, I'll get him to call you...Ok...Yup, see you Buff."
Willow rolled over to see Spike's hand over his mouth. She grinned at him and he began to laugh hysterically. "You little minx."
Willow shrugged. "She bought it and Angel is at Willy's getting blood....I just left out a couple of small details."
"Like the one were you died because one of those flares hit you and that now you are a vampire."
"And I am so happy I could dance...or mebbe we could do all that stuff that till last night I was too scared to actually try."
Spike grinned at her then slinked toward her as she lay on the bed before joining her. Willows grin broadened. "Angel's back. Can he join us?"
"ANGEL!!! I've created a monster."
Angel chuckled. "Too much for little Spike is she?"
Spike batted Willow's hands away from his jeans, then took her wrists in one hand. "Get me the manacles."