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Clipper

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Summary: Fred & Wes get an unexpected visitor. (AtS/Red Dwarf x-over)

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Red DwarfcrazedartFR1341,789062,20814 Apr 0414 Apr 04Yes

Act I: Morning Meeting

Setting: Shortly before 'Smile Time' in Angel season V and 'Smoke Me A Clipper' in Red Dwarf S7.

Disclaimer: The characters and their continuities were not created by me, so I don't do this to make a buck.

If you didn’t know any better, you’d think this place was normal, Winifred thought, looking down on the lobby. It didn’t happen too often, but even Wolfram & Hart had slow days. And this was shaping up to be one. Neither she nor the firm’s science department had any deadlines this morning, giving her time to people-watch over coffee. Emphasis on people. Not a demon in sight. Except for the lawyers, but they were human. Technically.

Angel and Spike were out on a case. Lorne passed through, cooing and hugging as ever, but he didn’t count; could a guy really be a demon if he sings Patti LaBelle? And there was Harmony, the boss’ secretary, waving up at her. She didn’t act like a typical vamp. Hadn’t even tried to bite her once … yet. That was something she could check on. She made a note to herself to ask Wesley if they could really trust her. She didn’t really feel threatened, but it gave her an excuse to stop by his office.

Fred smiled, started sipping. And heard a crackling noise coming from the middle of the lobby.

So much for a slow day, was her first thought, just before dropping her coffee and focusing on the sound, then the purple cylinder that accompanied it. The portal opened just long enough to dump out what looked like a large ball of … exhaust fumes? By the time it closed, she was in the lobby, pushing her way past stunned mail clerks and the swarm of W&H security that had gathered.

“Easy, boys and girls,” Fred heard a voice – a human voice – say from the center of the disturbance. “I’ve got enough autographed pictures for everybody.” What she saw upon reaching the voice looked human … sort of. More like Young Elvis wearing Old Elvis' sunglasses, riding some sort of Super-Harley. And he was smiling right at her …

“I see the pretty girls are in charge in this dimension,” the visitor said. He stepped off his bike and kissed her hand. This guy’s cheesier than Knox, she thought, but at least he’s friendly. She had no idea half of the girls wished that was their hand.

“Hi, I’m Winifred Burkle. Welcome to Earth,” she said. “That’s quite a chopper you’ve got there, mister …?”

“The name’s Ace Rimmer, honey. Looks like I took a wrong turn somewhere at Dimension 165.”

She decided she wouldn’t need the Harmony excuse.
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