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Red Hair and High Ideals

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Summary: None of the other X-Men will believe that Scott's feelings for Willow are real

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Marvel Universe > X-Men > Willow-CenteredFeyganFR1532,6800105,99916 Apr 0416 Apr 04No

Scott's Thoughts 2

Looks like my Willow's more special than I ever thought. It only makes my feelings for her that much stronger.

From what she's said, she has been helping to save the world since she was a teenager. It kind of makes me think of my own life.

As a member of the X-Men, I have spent the last twelve years helping to fulfill the Professor's dream of mutant equality. Sometimes I can't hold onto the ideals that he's been drilling into my head since I was a fresh off the street, desperate to please boy, but I always come back to Xavier's way of thought. It's not like I have anything else that I'm allowed to do.

Willow though...

She's not a mutant, there's nothing about her that's obviously different. No one ever forced her to try and change the world and the way people live their lives. She just made the choice one day that she was going to be a wonderful person, a protector for humanity.

She's a true hero, and I want to keep her in my life forever. I don't ever want her to look at me with hatred in her eyes. Not like Jean sometimes looked at me...

Yeah, I know everyone always just assumes that my relationship with Jean was perfection, but really, there were moments where we could barely stand to be in the same room with each other. We have had our fights, and even though we kept them largely private, they were real and pretty vocal.

Jean was a telepath. She could read my every thought, and even though I hate to speak ill of her now that she's gone forever... she wasn't very moral about the use of her power. She had no compunction whatsoever about dipping into peoples' private thoughts, and she always just kind of assumed that my brain was her personal playground and that I didn't mind her Reading me every chance she got.

It's hard never having a moment's peace, to have your every thought open to another person, even someone that you love more than life itself. Having no privacy is a hard thing to face.

I managed to block off a small portion of my mind from Jean, but she had access to every other bit of me. She knew everything about me and was known to force herself into my private thoughts if she thought it was for my own good. She hated secrets and definitely thought that I didn't deserve any.

Willow though... I don't think that she would ever do a thing like that. She has faced such hardships in her life that she has been forced to become a better person.

The things that she did to her Tara... they have made her realize that people deserve their freedom, and she is always going to respect mine.

It's strange to think it, especially with Xavier still free to crawl inside my head, but being allowed the freedom to be myself and think my own thoughts, it's a liberating kind of thing.

Even though they share that beautiful shade of red hair, Willow Rosenberg and Jean Grey will always be very different people in my head and I love them for different reasons.

I will always love Jean. She was a part of me for such a long time that she will always be there somewhere inside. But Willow... she's my future, and I'm happy about it. Happier than I have ever been before in my life, and I'm not going to regret that, not even because Jean's dead.

She's in her watery grave and she can fucking stay there. We're done.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Red Hair and High Ideals" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 16 Apr 04.

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