Scott Thoughts 1
Title: Red Hair and High Ideals
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or the X-Men No one believes that I love her. It's funny that they would ever think that I would lie about my feelings like that, but there it is. Like "stick up his ass Scott" would ever voice his feelings if they weren't real.
We met at one of the Professor's many conferences. I was there to act as Xavier's bodyguard, she was there to see the show. I spotted her in the crowd and knew instantly that my darkness was about to be lifted.
I had existed in a kind of twilight state of misery since Jean had died. She brought me out of it with a single smile. It felt like I had finally been let out of prison.
We were both kind of awkward when we introduced ourselves, but that didn't last for long. Our attraction was just too strong to be denied.
I would never admit it to the others, but even though she was probably the love of my life, my feelings for Willow developed stronger and faster than they ever did for Jean. It just felt like Willow was all that I ever wanted, and even though it was like a betrayal of everything I felt for Jean, it was just as real, if not realer.
The thing about me and Jean was that we were kind of made to be together. The Professor went out of his way to shove us into each others' paths and programmed us from the time we were teenagers to grow up and be the quintessential leader boy and leader girl, the perfect couple, never mind what else we might have wanted.
From the time we were children we were known as Scott and Jean and there was no getting out of that. Our fates had been decided before we even knew who we were and what we wanted to be.
Willow though, I chose her for myself. Even though it was obvious that Xavier didn't approve of our relationship, my love for Willow could only grow. And I flat out told the rest of the X-Men to screw themselves when they voiced their "concerns" about my being with Willow.
They think that I chose her because of her red hair, like that was enough to win my heart. They think that she is a cheap replacement for Jean, a bare shadow of the woman that died without me. They think that my grief weakened me so much that I can't face reality.
What they can't understand is that Willow is special all on her own. She is beautiful and smart and funny and she makes me burn inside like no one has ever done, not even the irreplaceable Jean Grey.