Spike wiggled his big toe. There wasn’t much more he could do, so he wiggled it again. Then he scrunched his nose. After he’d felt the sun set and rise for a second time while not actually being able to see it, Spike had come to a conclusion, he was doomed to hell. He knew it was coming, he’d felt death nipping at his heels for too long. Too many things were going for him, and now he was dead, obviously dusted by the car that had hit him. His only regret was not bidding Buffy farewell. He was trapped, forever forced to lie still in a compartment of hell. Oh woe, oh alas, oh fuck he needed something to do!
Buffy woke bright and early Wensday morning, ready to go forth and rescue her boyfriend from what must be absolute hell. She knew she could do it; she’d pulled people from all sorts of spots, hell, she’d been on the receiving end of the pulling too. All she had to do was find him. The counselor from the Medical Examiners office had mentioned coming back today so that’s what she’d do. Go back, find him, then they’d do their superhero thing and get back to the fun of their little vacation. Fun… Spike… Mmmm… Huh? What? No, spring Spike, rescue the world, all starting now. Buffy pushed herself out of bed and took off for the shower.
Jordan walked into work two minutes early, neatly missing Dr. Macy’s morning pep-talk, and went straight to the main lab. Pulling out her lab coat, she caught the elevator down to the lockers and ran smack in to Bug.
“Morning Jordan, you’re early.” The young Indian man said in his cultured British accent. “New cases come in last night?”
“Same one as yesterday, the car crash. The girlfriend stopped by yesterday and Lily thinks it’d be good for her to identify the body today so I’m going to get the blood tests out of the way before she gets here.”
Bug led the way out of the elevator and towards the freezer, “You don’t think she’s going to tamper with the body?”
Jordan shrugged, “I ran her name by Woody and he came up with a sheet as long as your arm, and that’s not including her sealed Juvenile record. Arson, breaking and entering, theft, she’s done it all, forty-three times she’s been put under suspicion, no arrests though. And our dead guy, the good Mr. Blutig didn’t exist three years ago. No records of a William Blutig exist from before November thirteenth, two-thousand and one.”
“So you think what, they were some kind of Bonnie and Clyde outfit and she got sick of sharing?”
Jordan smirked, “It’s a possibility, of course there could be a perfectly good explanation for the whole deal, but I doubt it.”
Bug ran his eyes over the labels of the drawers, “What’s his number?”
Jordan looked down at her folder, “M03101997.” She ran her hand down the drawers until she found the one she was looking for, “And here we are, Mr. William Blutig.” Grabbing the handle she twisted the lock, opened the door, and rolled the drawer and its contents out.
One Hour Earlier:
Spike closed his eyes, if he was doomed to hell, the least he could do was catch a nap.
Jordan pulled Spike’s drawer out and Spike with it. Lifting the sheet from his face she had to admit, that if nothing else his girlfriend had good taste; even in death the man was attractive. Dead, yes, but attractive. With Bug’s help, Jordan moved the body from its place in the locker to a gurney for transport upstairs. With the sheet replaced, Jordan didn’t notice the body’s eyes open at the jolt of being moved.
Spike was happily asleep when all the clack of metal on metal woke him. Opening his eyes he caught a flash of ceiling before the sheet was replaced over his eyes. Smiling he prepared to sit up and give whomever was moving him the scare of their life. Counting down from five gave Spike the chance to second guess himself, if he surprised the unsuspecting lackey and gave them a heart attack or something, Buffy would never forgive him. Ever. Goodbye Buffy, goodbye Dawn, goodbye… Well he could kiss his social life in general goodbye if he sat up. And he really enjoyed his place at the slayer’s side. So instead of sitting up a causing the accidental death of the morons who’d kept him locked up for the last twenty four plus hours Spike contented himself with singing My Way just quiet enough that any humans wouldn’t really be sure if they were hearing it or not.
Jordan stood at the side of the gurney on the elevator ride up; Bug had stayed behind to take care of whatever it was he was working on. All the way to her lab she hummed under her breath, “I did it my-y-y-y way-y-y-y.”
“’Never pegged you for a Pistols fan, pet.” Nigel’s voice came from behind her.
“The who?” Jordan said as she wandered around her lab getting everything together for the blood tests.
Nigel smirked, “Not the Who, the Sex Pistols. The song you were singing, it was My Way, wasn’t it?”
Spike found himself hard pressed not to laugh as he heard the new voice, obviously a man after his own un-beating heart.
Jordan turned to her friend, confusion lines marring her forehead, “I was singing?”
Nigel shrugged, “You must’ve heard it somewhere.” He reached over Spike’s body for the syringe needle. “What’re we doing with Billy Idol here? Y-incision, or just blood screens?”
Jordan grabbed the needle back, “Right now, just blood screens. An autopsy’ll depend on what his girlfriend has to say when she sees him later, she cries and he goes home, she giggles and he stays.”
Nigel’s eyebrow shot up into his receding hair line, “You really don’t trust this girl do you?”
Jordan raised a shoulder, “She just rubs me wrong, even Lily thought something was off, during counseling the girl didn’t cry once, and Lily said she tried some of her best tricks.”
As concentrated as they were on the task at hand, neither Nigel nor Jordan saw the smirk that creased across Spike’s face. His girl wasn’t gonna break, and nothing they could do would make her. Short of presenting her with his ashes, but he’d hold out hope that that wasn’t going to happen, though the talk of autopsy was making him rather nervous. Just a little while longer and Buffy would have him ou-OUCH! Oh FUCK! Oh FUCKING HELL! Spike’s eye’s shot open and before he could do anything about it he yelped in pain.
Jordan had just inserted the needle and was drawing the necessary fluid for the blood work when the corpse did something that corpses as a general rule didn’t do, it made a noise. Jordan and Nigel jumped back from the table.
“That was an automatic response, right?” Nigel asked with a nervous smile. “Completely natural, yeah?”
Jordan shrugged, “Well he sure as hell isn’t alive, he’s been in a freezer for two days.”
Nigel nodded, then leaned forward and checked Spike’s pulse, “Yeah, he’s dead.”
The two criminologists looked at eachother and shrugged then Jordan pulled the sheet back over Spikes face and went to the head space sampler to begin testing the blood sample for blood alcohol content.
Buffy walked back into the Medical Examiner’s office and went up to the evil receptionist. “Hi.” She said in the tone that she usually used when the vampires were getting to uppity, “I’m here to see Lily, if you could tell her Buffy was waiting, I’d sure appreciate it.”
The receptionist of doom graced the slayer a smile she’d only ever seen on a very special breed of snake demon. “Of course Betty, if you’ll just have a seat in the sitting area I’ll let Ms. Lebowski know you’re waiting. She should be out in just a moment.”
As Buffy went to sit in the chairs the receptionist had gestured to she noticed that the woman behind the desk did nothing more than turn back to her magazine. After waiting a moment to see if the receptionist would actually do anything, Buffy walked past her and towards where she remembered Lily’s office to be. Ignoring the administrative professional’s indignant sputtering Buffy turned the corner and ran smack in to the woman she was looking for.
“Buffy!” The other blond woman exclaimed. “I didn’t know you were here.”
“Yeah, your receptionist isn’t exactly a nice person, she sorta just ignored me. Anyway, I had a revelation last night and I was hoping your offer to talk was still standing.”
Lily smiled at Buffy and gestured to an office at Buffy’s right, “Of course, come in, and have a seat. What is it that you wanted to talk about?”
Buffy sat in the beige and cream of Lily’s office and took a deep breath. “I think I know why I haven’t been able to cry. This isn’t the first time Spike died, one of his ex-girlfriends tried to kill him back home, he was dead for a few seconds, but he came back, I guess I just keep expecting him to jump off the table and laugh at the mess he caused. He was like that, had a very macabre sense of humor.”
Lily nodded along with Buffy’s story, considering whether or not she believed her. “Do you think it would help if you saw his body in person? We usually do identifications by photograph, but if you think it’ll help you accept his death I can arrange a live ID.”
Buffy tried her best watery smile, “Do you really think you could do that? I really think that just seeing him one last time, getting to say goodbye would really help.”
Lily reached for her phone, “Let me just call Jordan and let her know, then we can go down and see him.”
Buffy walked into the lab and finally saw Spike. Lily had told her that she would have as much time as she needed and when she was done they would be able to talk again. Now that she had him alone, Buffy wasn’t quite sure what to do, “Spike?” She said as quietly as she could, “You okay?” When he didn’t answer she got a little closer. “Spike?” This time she saw his finger crick towards her, so she laid her head down on his chest in order to block the view of his mouth from the people watching through the lab windows.
“You are dead.”
When she heard his voice Buffy face broke into a wide smile, “Are you okay?”
Spike smiled back, “I’ve been locked in a cabinet, in a freezer, naked for the last few days, and now that my girls finally come for me I’ve got to get her to move before I do another thing corpses aren’t supposed to do.”
Buffy smirked, but backed off, “I think I’ll be able to get you out tonight. I’ve got this place mapped out pretty well, and when I was coming down this morning I saw an entrance that isn’t guarded as well as the rest.”
Spike gave a deep sigh of relief, “So tonight my torture ends?”
Buffy nodded, “Get all your stuff together and be ready to be busted out sometime after midnight.”
“Yeah, I don’t think you’ll have to worry about me being hard to find, I’ll be in the freezer. And I’m not going anywhere either.”
Jordan watched as the blond California girl left the office, then turned back to the results of the blood tests.
“Nigel, I think we have a problem.
“That guys blood, it came back a little weird.”
Author’s note: I know the Medical Examiner stuff isn’t really realistic. I’m a medieval history/linguistics major; science is something that happens to other people. Just suspend your disbelief and enter with me into the land of denial where pharaohs dance and people put candles on their heads. Thank you.