Title: Have You Ever?
Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Drusilla /Joker
Disclaimer: Drusilla belongs to Joss et al., Gotham and inhabitants belong to Warner Brothers et al. (I think?) And by my plethora of et al.s you can tell I’ve been in grad school too long and have no money worth suing over.
Summary: In response to Jinni’s 20 minutes with Dru, what happens when Joker’s pick up line fails?
Shadows fell over the dark streets of Gotham. Oh yes, life was good. It was nearing Christmas, that infernal time of year when people believed in good will and humanity and peace, but all that would change in a few days, and that was why he could smile now. His latest scheme was well on its way to success, and not even Batman would stop him this time. He couldn’t wait for Christmas morning, when parents around Gotham would take out their new cameras to capture the smiles on their little kiddies’ faces and find the smiles permanently fixed. His new freeze-a-film was sure to be a hit this year… until the children get hungry that is. Oh yes, this was going to be a wonderful Christmas.
The Joker gleefully glanced around the town square, eager to celebrate his destined victory to come. All he needed now was a nice damsel in distress and the night would be perfect. Ah! And there she was! Across the square was a young woman, dressed in full petticoats as though she had lost the rest of her Dickens’ caroling troupe. As he approached her, he noticed that lost was a good way to describe her. What a perfect victim! Christmas was coming early this year.
Sneaking behind her, the Joker recognized his opportunity as she passed the opening of a small alleyway between two closed stores. Quickly he wrapped his arms around her, making sure to cover her mouth to keep her from screaming out. She was light as a feather, and he had no problems getting her all the way to the back of the dark dank alley.
Smiling he leaned up against her and whispered. “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight.”
“Oh yes!” She purred as though he had touched the very quick of her.
Oh this wasn’t right at all. She was supposed to faint or scream or something.
“The pale moonlight shines on you, doesn’t she? Dance, dance we will.” The girl turned around and smiled up at him. “It’s been so long since I’ve danced with the devil, but you’ll make that better, won’t you?” She laughed deep in her throat. He had to silently admit to himself that her laugh was a much better villain’s laugh than his. Of course, that in itself was wrong and he would have to fix that.
He took her in his arms and began waltzing awkwardly up and down the alley, her light laughter harmoniously blending in with the darkness. After a few passes he stepped back and bowed deeply. “Thank you for that lovely dance madam, but now I must say adieu.” And falling back on his old standby, Joker pulled out a gun and shot the girl at point blank range.
He patiently waited for her to fall down. Any moment now, she would slump into a heap, staining the gray snow. Come on now, gun fires, girls falls, how many times had he been through this already? It’s not like batman was in the neighborhood to whisk her away. Anxiously he glanced up at the sky; nope, all clear. Glancing back down, he noticed that she had clutched a hand over the bullet hole. Finally, we’d get some action here.
“So eager to share, are we jester?” She held her bloody hand out to him, “I’m a good girl, my daddy taught me how to share. Want a taste?” She smiled wickedly.
“That’s not right.” The joker’s smile faded.
“Don’t you want to dance in the pale moonlight?” Her smile also faded… into a much more feral grin, complete with fangs.
Silently he was running over this turn of events in his head. Sight victim, check. Drag victim into alley, check. Ask if she’s ever danced with the devil, check. Shoot victim, check. So why wasn’t it working? When he finally glanced up he noticed her eyes had turned a cat’s yellow. She pinned him against the wall, apparently much stronger than he had thought possible. “The moon wants us to dance forever, and forever we shall, my little jester.”
As a pair of fangs sunk into his neck, the Joker sighed. He really needed a better pick up line.