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Snake Eyes

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Summary: Xander doesn't really want to help Snyder on Halloween. Buffy and Willow make him, in a fit of pique.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Xander-CenteredAlanPFR1321,86731010,5728 May 048 May 04Yes

Part 2

Summary: Yet another S2Halloween spamfic.

Crossover: Harry Potter

Disclaimer: Do I /look/ like I have a job?

Feedback: Absolutely!

* * *

Buffy flicked through the costumes at 'Ethan's Costume Shop' irritably.

"Stupid Xander," she muttered. "Deserting me!"

Buffy felt perfectly justified in her anger -- she was the Slayer, and
had more of a right to a night off on Halloween than Xander. If she had
to suffer, so did he.

"We could dress him up and make him come," Willow suggested.

"Er, Will, how do you propose to dress him and get him to Sunnydale High
without him complaining?"

Willow dismissed that. "Xander doesn't wake up for anyone. You've seen
him in class!"

"Okay," Buffy said cheerfully, "and if he doesn't sleep, we /make/ him
sleep! Now, to costumes! Something that he'll hate..."

Hell hath no fury like a woman who is forced to do the dirty work
instead of the man.

"We can't get a vampire or a pirate costume then," Willow said, "because
he'll crack jokes all night and it won't be very punishing. And I think
that it has to be at least slightly smiting, because he's planning on
ditching us."

"Okay," the Slayer said. "What does Xander genuinely hate?"

"People who do torture and other nasty things like that," Willow said
promptly. "The next question is, who is immediately recognisable as one
of those people?"

Both girls' eyes fell on a black robe, a wand, facepaint, and red eye
contacts.

"This is gonna be good," Buffy smirked.

"Don't you mean bad?," Willow inquired.

"What-ev-er!"

* * *

Xander groaned. The last thing he remembered was the Library. Giles had
just handed him a donut, before looking shocked at something behind him.
He now had a killer headache.

Great. Just great. A kidnapping, then. At least the last one gave him a
drugged martini, rather than a two by four to the head.

"Did anyone get the number of that truck?," Xander groaned, as he felt
his head.

What the... why was he in some funny robes? At least the blurry eyesight
could be explained away as a side effect of being sent to sleep the hard
way.

"Sorry, Xander, but you will not be deserting your duties tonight," a
British voice said.

"When I figure out which of you two is the real G-man, you are gonna be
an ex-G-man," Xander complained.

"Buffy and Willow took the liberty of dressing you in a suitable costume
for your escort assignment," Giles said. "I have no idea who you are
supposed to be. Some sort of popular culture actor, I suppose."

Xander got up from the decidedly uncomfortable chair, and took the
mirror Giles offered him. He had green facepaint on, with silver
delineations indicating scales. Red contacts covered his irises, giving
his eyes an evil look. A black robe covered the rest of him, except for
his hands which also had the green and silver paint applied.

Hold on one second -- robe?

A brief check with his hand showed that he still had his Levi's on, if
not his shirt. At least the girls hadn't stripped him naked.

"I was told to give you this," Giles commented, handing a thirteen and a
half inch long yew rod with something in the middle to the be-costumed
Xander. "Now, Principal Snyder is expecting you. I'll go with you --
I've finished here for the night."

Xander blinked, connecting the dots.

"I'm... I'm Voldemort?," he asked weakly, letting Giles pull him along.

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Xander grimaced. Thank God the robe muffled the sound somewhat. Buffy
and Willow were gonna pay for this.

"Shut up!," he snapped. "Before I do something you'll regret!"

The ten children were immediately silent. One boy was looking at Xander
with a 'hero worship' expression in his eyes.

"You are SOOOOOO cool," the boy said. His name was, in an eerie display
of coincidence, Elijah MacNair if Xander remembered correctly.

"Now," Xander continued. "For more candy, tears are key. Tears will
normally get you enough candy to make you sick for a year. You can try
'you missed me', but most people will not believe that."

"This is sooooo cool," Elijah MacNair said. "You-Know-Who is taking me
trick or treating!"

* * *

Voldemort snarled as he looked around. One of those soft hearted
Ministry of Magic idiots had sent him to some disgusting Muggle village.
He immediately touched his wand to his chest, but paused.

His Mark was missing!

"Morsmordre Imperious!"

Fixed. One chest covering Dark Mark re-affixed. Voldemort quickly
touched his wand to the new Mark, summoning his Death Eaters. Strange...
he couldn't feel the links to his minions...

He spotted a muggle being chased by some sort of Dark creature. How
fitting. Then he spotted a simpering idiot of a female weeping under a
tree. He'd give her something to cry about!

"CRUCIO!"

* * *

The next morning found Buffy in the girls' toilet, being comforted by
Willow who was on the verge of tears herself.

"It was all my fault!," the Slayer cried.

Seventy dead, the extra in the newspaper that day proclaimed. Twenty of
them with no mark, fifty of them stabbed to death by their family, and a
hundred more comatose or insane. The Mayor of Sunnydale was livid, and
had made a public statement that the culprit would be caught and forced
to submit to the fullest punishment possible under the law.

The image of the green skull with the snake was still hanging in the
sky.

"You couldn't know," Willow consoled her friend. "But we should
apologise."

Ten minutes later found the two trying the doors to the Library, where
Xander was sequestered with Giles. A sign on the door said 'DO NOT
DISTURB UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WHATSOEVER.'

* * *

"God, Giles, I killed all those people," Xander stuttered. He was being
held tightly by the older man in a hug, manliness be damned. The black
mark covering his chest from his neck to his waist was still there.

"It wasn't you," Giles said. "You were possessed. It's all Ethan's
fault."

"I should have fought it somehow," Xander said stubbornly. "Then all
those people wouldn't be dead."

"The spell was backed up by a God, Xander," Giles sighed. "Let me tell
you a story about a Dark Mage called Ripper."

"Who?," Xander asked.

* * *

Post-Fic Comments:

Yes, I've left most of it to your imagination. If someone wants to take
this and flesh it out, they're more than welcome.

The End

You have reached the end of "Snake Eyes". This story is complete.

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