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Xander Half

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Summary: Xander's pops flogs him off at a young age. To about the only man who could be a worse parent.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Anime > Ranma 1/2AlanPFR7108,32411116,10317 May 041 Aug 04No

Chapter 10

Summary: Xander's pops flogs him off at a young age.

Crossover: Ranma 1/2

Disclaimer: I own nothing! You can prove nothing!

Feedback: Rein of the Coalm

BandThisWasWrittenTo: Supergroove

Pre-Fic Comments:

Supergroove is a very, very good New Zealand funk-rock band. They're
worth checking out. 'Can't Get Enough' is quite good, and funny :)

"*This is Japanese text.*"

* * *

Willow sidled up to Giles, hope burning brightly in her heart.

"Giles, uh, can I speak to you in private?," Willow asked. "I wanna talk
to you about the new people."

"If you wish, Willow," Giles said as he shut his office door behind
them. "Now, what seems to be the problem?"

"They wake me up extra early, they're rude, obnoxious, they eat like
starving horses and they sleep through school!," Willow ranted. "Can't
you do something?"

Giles looked thoughtful. "Have you talked to your parents about it at

Willow nodded morosely. This wasn't going as well as she'd hoped.

"I could offer to take the two boys off your parent's hands," Giles said

"Thanks Giles! You're a lifesaver!," Willow beamed, shaking the
Watcher's hand energetically. "It's a deal! Okay, see you later!"

Giles couldn't put his finger on what it was, but he had the feeling
he'd just done a very, very stupid thing.

* * *

Genma dragged the sewer cover across his head and closed his eyes.

If the crazy Americans found him here, then he'd run. Until then, he
wasn't setting foot in the crap below him.

"Where'd he go?," an American gaijin yelled.

"The really smelly guy?," an unfamiliar voice said. "I saw a bum running
down there."

The sound of a thousand feet crossed his manhole cover, then dropped off
to nothing. Genma raised the heavy metal disc a hairs width, and finding
no crazy people, shoved it to one side.

As he was happily moving it back into position across the hole, a
familiar voice cut in.

"*Anata. Why were those people upset with my 'honourable martial artist'
husband?,*" Nodoka said, tombstones falling with each word. She was also
fingering her damned Katana again.

"*I have no idea,*" Genma replied. The fact that he was sweating bucket
loads had no meaning on his words, nooo...

He looked around in panic.

"*One of them gave me this card,*" Nabiki said brightly. This trip was
way more fun than skinning the students back home of all their money.
She held up a business card. "*P E T A. People... for the... Ethical..
Treatment of Animals. Yes. An animal rights group.*"

Everyone turned their attention from Nabiki back to Genma, to find a
large panda playing with an old tyre. A sign by it said in Japanese
kanji, "*I'm just a friendly panda.*"

* * *

A slimly built girl clad in black from head to toe looked at the sky.
The wind tried to rip her from her perch, but she stood firm.

"*Saotome Ranma. Harris Alexander. I've finally found you two, and you
shall not escape me.*"

She looked over a copy of a contract that she pulled from her closely
fitting clothes. "*Yes, the contract shall be fulfilled.*"

A moment later, she backflipped from the speeding locomotive onto a
powerpole, leaping down to a nearby rooftop of the Sunnydale industrial

* * *

Buffy smirked as she rubbed some life back into her shoulder.

True, she was in a small amount of pain, but Xander was in far, far

"I ain't yer husband!," Xander snapped. "This ain't China! I'm sorry,
but I'm an American citizen, and we're in America!"

"Ai yah!," Shampoo said. "Husband too, too mean!"

Ranma laughed out loud.

Xander groaned. "Stop laughing."

Buffy joined in laughing.

"*What if your old man engaged /you/ to someone?,*" Xander snapped at
Ranma. "*Or your girlform?*"

Ranma stopped laughing immediately. Given what his father Genma was
like, Xander had raised a valid point.

"Shall we discuss patrol patterns for tonight?," Giles asked, derailing
the train of conversation.

"But we're having fun, Giles," Buffy said, smiling.

* * *

After she had gotten aunty Nodoka to make uncle Genma behave, Nabiki had
bought some train tickets. Her father had wound up weeping that Nabiki
was such a good girl, Kasumi was in a state of perpetual amazement, and
Akane had left a trail of at least a dozen 'perverts' behind her.

This Ranma person had better be worth it, that was all Nabiki wanted.
She was losing a lot of possible income with this trip that the dojo
back home needed in mortgage payments.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Xander Half" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 1 Aug 04.

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