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Aku Zoku Zen

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Summary: Xander has an interest outside vampires and slacking off. Namely, watching anime.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Anime > Rurouni KenshinAlanPFR754,8181711,26017 May 0417 May 04No

Chapter Fragment

Summary: Xander has an interest outside vampires and slacking off.

Crossover: Rurouni Kenshin

Disclaimer: I own nothing! You can prove nothing!

Feedback: Roin of the Cealm.

Pre-fic Comments:

This is a fragment from somewhere in the future in the AZZ timeline. has
some more info on Sanosuke.

The new Norther album, Death Unlimited, kicks much ass and is VERY worth
listening to. I highly recommend you all grab a copy if you can.

* * *

Xander leant against a bookcase in the Library. This was so boring...
then again, the danger made up for it. The rest of the Scoobies, Angel,
Oz and Cordelia were also in the planning session.

"So, anyone have any ideas?," Buffy asked. "'Cause I'm fresh out."

"Did you check the fridge?," Willow asked.

"We attack the Mayor with hummus," Oz volunteered.

"I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan,"
Cordelia said scathingly.

"G-man, you come up with any weaknesses for this 'Olvikan' thing that
he's gonna turn into?," Xander asked.

"I'm afraid that I've found very little on Olvikan, so no," Giles
sighed, obviously disappointed with himself.

"Okay, I beat him up," Xander grinned toothily, hands curling into fists
harder than stone. "G-man, you said that the Council sent you a
zanbatou? A real one, I mean?"

"Well, yes," Giles said, "but I'm afraid that it is rather blunt at the

"Bags not me," Buffy said immediately.

"Uh, me neither," Willow added.

"Deadboy, Wolfboy, Queen C, and G-man, you're all on sharpening detail,"
Xander smiled evilly.

"Uh, shouldn't we come up with a contingency plan should you fail?,"
Giles asked.

"Puh-lease," Xander sniffed. "I haven't had to use much more than my
fists for any demon or vampire in Sunnydale. This should be cake with a

"I vote we blow up the school," Cordelia said.

"Me too," everyone below the age of twenty chimed in.

"This is most irresponsible," Giles protested.

"Tough," Buffy overruled him. "Wills, c'mon, we can go get... hey, where
can we get some bombs?"

"What about the IRA's ANFO mixture?," Xander asked.

Everyone looked at him. "Whaaat?"

"Quite perceptive," Giles praised him. "Ammonium nitrate and fuel oil.
Buffy, Willow, here is my checkbook. Should you 'max out' my account, as
you Americans call it, I shall be most displeased with you."

"Ammo-what?," Buffy asked.

"Fertilizer and diesel," Willow explained.

"Ohhhh," the Slayer said, a mental lightbulb going on.

"I'd better go round up the rest of the class," Cordelia said, "so we
can explain things to them."

Xander wandered into the bookcage, emerging with a sword. Well, if
swords came in XXXXXL size, longer than he was tall. He pulled the cloth
wrapping off it, revealing a sword a foot wide at the base, six feet in
length, with two or three length of handle. There wasn't any guard
between blade and hilt. The teenager sat down with it on the floor,
oilstone in hand.

"Deadboy, Oz, grab an oilstone and get to work," he commanded.

"Yes," Giles agreed. "I shall continue looking for any weaknesses this
Olvikan may have. Don't drop those oilstones on the ground, as they are
enchanted and quite expensive."

"Why me?," Angel complained while he grabbed two oilstones from the
bookcage, handing one to Oz then sitting down and helping to sharpen the
huge sword.

"Because you were too slow to find something else to do," Giles
commented absently from where he was reading through a thick, dusty tome
on the table.

"Heavy, dude," Oz commented, the tip of it resting across his knees.
"Must be hard to use."

"Dead easy," Xander smiled.

* * *

Xander leant back on his folding chair at the edge of the crowd of other
people also graduating. Under his graduating robe, he had on a pair of
cloth pants, a simple jacket, and not much else. There was also a long,
long wrapped bundle lying by the side of the seats.

"Congratulations to the class of 1999," Snyder said from his position on
the podium. "You all proved more or less adequate.  This is a time of
celebration, so: sit still and be quiet. Spit out that gum. Please
welcome our distinguished guest speaker: Richard Wilkins the 3rd. I saw
that gesture.  You see me after graduation. Harris! See me afterwards."

With that, the caring, sensitive headmaster sat down at the edge of the

Xander yawned as the Mayor took the podium, taking out his cue cards.

"Oh man, skip this," Xander pleaded under his breath. "I can't believe I
*want* a demon to turn up early!"

"We... we must all... It has begun.  My destiny," the Mayor smiled.
"It's a little sooner then I expected -- I had this whole section on
civic pride... But I guess we'll just skip to the big finish!"

Xander grinned in anticipation as he stood, ripping off the black robes
to show the cheap, white pants and jacket. He picked up the bundle,
ripping off the cloth wrapping with ease as Buffy stood up also to take
command of the students.

"Now!," the Slayer commanded, as the other students obediently took off
their robes to reveal weaponry.

Xander stepped forwards as he began swinging the heavy zanbatou,
building up momentum. "Shall we move on right to the big finale?"

The snake looked at him. An evil intelligence shone in it's eyes, but
hunger submerged the edge of it.

He lifted the handle above his head, swinging the sword faster until he
was standing still, the long, long blade whirling above his head like a
helicopter's blade on an all-fat diet. He roared as he moved forwards,
easily translating the momentum of the blade into an overhead swing at
the snake's exposed spine.

"DIE!," Xander screamed "HYPOCRITE!"

The newly sharpened edge, gleaming with malice, bit deeply into the
scaled flesh, ripping a deep gash in the newly made demon's backbone,
severing nerves and sending demonblood and fluid spurting all over

The former Mayor also screamed, but in pain more than hate.

Dimly, Xander could hear the sounds of battle, as the rest of the
graduating class fought off vampires. He was glad they were -- the large
snake demanded all his attention as his muscles bunched, pulling the
ungodly heavy sword out of the snake's body, now half-paralysed.

He ducked as the snake-demon's mouth went straight for him, and twisted
on the ground as it tried to flatten him. The demon's mobility was
limited, though, as it tried to move the dead weight of the paralysed
half of it's body.

"BUFFY!," Xander screamed, desperate for a distraction. He couldn't grab
his zanbatou while also trying to dodge the demon!

The Slayer obediently raised her crossbow, going for it's eyes in an
instinctive move that she wouldn't be able to articulate. Olvikan's head
whipped to the side, as the bolt sunk into flesh rather than eyeball. It
didn't damage it much, but it did it's job.

Xander grabbed the hilt of the sword originally intended to kill a horse
and it's rider in one hit, and ran back as the blood continued to spurt
from it's horrible wound where he had driven the blade deep into it's
spine, catching his breath at a respectable distance. All the students
and teachers had gotten out of it's range, disabled as it was, and they
were mopping up the last of the vampires.

"Xander!," Buffy chastised him. "Come on! We have to finish him off!"

"He, he's dead," Xander said, breathing deeply. "He can't move to save
himself, and he's going to die from bloodloss before the day is out."

"Xander is quite right," Giles said, appearing besides the two. "Buffy,
if you would assist with the, er, vampires?"

The Slayer went to help Willow and Oz with the evil undead.

"We're all in your debt, Xander," Giles said seriously, handing the
youth a sandwich as they watched the giant serpent writhe in it's death
throes. "If you had not struck it so, the school would probably be

"That was a hell of a fight," Xander grinned. The blood spatters across
his face and on his white pants and jacket gave him a grim appearance,
and the blood on his torso was drying.

"What did you mean, though, when you said 'Die! Hypocrite'?," Giles
asked, curious.

"He was supposed to help the people," Xander said, gesturing at the
once-Mayor with the sandwich. "Not kill them."

* * *

The End?

You have reached the end of "Aku Zoku Zen" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 17 May 04.

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