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The Best Security Money Can Buy

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Summary: If you've ever wondered why Caleb didn't just walk up to Buffy's house and put the bomb from the weapons cave there. Well now you know.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Star Trek > Other/GeneralLawrencePayneFR1317300113,3213 Jun 043 Jun 04Yes
Title: The Best Security Money Can Buy. Humor, Xover.
Author: Lawrence Payne
Cast: Caleb, Buffy, Willow, Dawn, and a few Potentials.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I own nothing. A whole slew of other people own these characters and concepts.

Comments: Constructive feedback is always appreciated. :)

Archiving: If you want to, sure. Feel free. Just tell me if you do.

Summary: If you’ve ever wondered why Caleb didn’t just walk up to Buffy’s house and put the bomb from the weapons cave there. Well now you know.

Authors Notes: This story was part of the much larger fic. I didn’t like how it fit into the original story so instead of just deleting it, I changed the main premise and made this.

It was 3AM. Everyone in the Summers home was asleep as Caleb and two of his Bringers snuck through the backyard. The Bringers carried a large wooden box full of explosives. The insane preacher smiled when he reached the back porch. He could have left the bomb there, but he wanted the explosion to have the maximum effect. In other words, he wanted no survivors. There was only one way to guarantee the blast would kill everyone, and that was to place the bomb in the center of the house.

Caleb jimmied the lock with ease. As he entered the kitchen, the two Bringers followed closely behind.

Caleb was halfway through the kitchen when he noticed them. Four furry, and incredibly ugly, little creatures were on the kitchen table. Their disgusting little bodies bobbed up and down as they made a hideous noise. The shrill sound was not very loud, but it terrified him. It seemed to reach down into his soul and irritate every nerve in his body at the same time.

Caleb and the Bringers backed away from the repugnant beasts. As he did, he discovered two more of these insidious monsters on the floor near his feet. They began to make the dreadful noise too. Caleb quickly moved away from them only to discover another one on the kitchen counter, bobbing up and down and making the noise also.

Caleb whirled around in fear. To his amazement, he began to scream, but he quickly put his hand over his mouth to suppress it. Caleb put his back against the wall and searched the room for more of these creatures. They seemed to be everywhere. There were a dozen or more in the room.

The two Bringers dropped the bomb and fled in terror. Caleb was about to order them to come back, but again he restrained himself. He did *not* want to wake the Slayer. In his current vulnerable state, he would have been an easy kill. Caleb gathered up his ire. Keeping his back against the wall, he slowly crept back to the door. Once there, he grabbed the bomb and hastily fled back into the night.

The Next Morning.

Dawn, Willow and some of the Potentials were already in the kitchen when Buffy arrived. She noticed the backdoor was open. Buffy wondered why, but after a headcount and a quick check of the house, everything and everyone was safe and accounted for, so she just dismissed it. Sometimes Kennedy would start training in the backyard a little earlier than the other girls. Buffy figured Kennedy just forgot to close it, so she closed the door for her.

The girls ate their breakfast while they played with their new pets. Buffy placed two of them on her left arm. Willow and Caridad petted a large, powder blue one on the table. Amanda held another blue one in her hand as she gently stroked it with her other. Dawn had seven of the cuddly little bundles of fur, five in her lap and one on each of her shoulders. The teenager could not stop laughing. The small furry creatures on her shoulders constantly tickled her neck and ears.

“What are these things Dawn?” Buffy asked.

“I don’t know,” Dawn replied. “Andrew showed me this spell he and Jonathan were working on in Mexico. He said it would protect the house from evil beings. So we tried it. And these cute little guys showed up.”

“I don’t about protecting the house, but they sure are cute.”

“And cuddly too!” Willow chimed in.

Willow scooped the small ball of fur up in her hands. She held it gently against her face as it made a tiny cooing sound.

“He also said don’t feed them or let them eat anything,” Dawn managed to say through the giggles.

“Why can’t we feed them?” Willow asked, her voice showed more than a little disappointed.

“He didn’t say.”

“Did he at least say what they’re called?” Buffy asked.

“Yeah! Do they have a name?” Willow asked.

“He called them Tribbles.”

A/N: If you don’t get the joke show this to a Star Trek fan. They’ll explain it to you.

The End

You have reached the end of "The Best Security Money Can Buy". This story is complete.

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