How to Forget
Summary: Willow and Logan help each other forget. Xover w/Xmen
Spoilers: For Xmen 2 and season 6 of Buffy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing... nada.... zip... zilch.... I can go on and on.
A/N: There was no beta who could do this... Rules say post as soon as I write it so I figured I wouldn’t need one...
So I’ll dedicate this fic to houses. Since it is who I am writing it for. I hope I met at least half of your expectations. Feel free to tell me I’m a horrible Xmen writer and to stay away from that subject. Or tell me I’m good and I’ll continue. =D
Genre: Anita Blake, Harry Potter, Highlander, Smallville, Stargate, Xmen
Max Rating: NC-17
Characters: any of these will do: Wesley(AtS), Teal'c(SG), Boromir(LotR),
Lucius(HP), Logan(Xmen), Edward (AB), Raphael (AB), Lionel (SM)
Type: horror, humor, dark, drama, action
Want To See: surprise me.
Not Want To See: slash unless the author already knows I like their slash
pairings [and I would have mentioned it to said author- they won't be
I chose Logan/Xmen/Drama.
Feedback: C’mon... I know you want to.
I hear him whisper her name before he falls asleep. At first I didn’t mind. Back then I wasn’t in love with him. Nowadays I am falling for him. His muscular body. His cowboy-like outfits. His cigar scent. Even his sideburns. I am attracted to every aspect of his personality and body.
When we first met Logan didn’t like me. He didn’t like the idea of having another red head around to replace her. Jean that is. Jean was involved with Scott but Logan was taking her death just as bad. He was depressed. And I was depressed. So we ended up being depressed together. In bed.
I usually don’t have sex to forget about my woes. But Tara was my life. Like Jean was Logan’s. Logan and I became lovers to make each other leave our pasts behind. Our lovemaking was fast and, at times, painful. At times he’d bite me so hard I would have to hide the bruises from the students the next day.
We have been going through this routine for three months now. Logan told me a week ago that he became disgusted with himself. I know the truth though. He if feeling guilty. For betraying Jean.
This week I have become more possessive of him. While we make love I have been scratching his back, biting him all over, harder. It wouldn’t do any good though. He heals pretty quickly. No marks. No evidence that we had been together.
I don’t want to sound like a crazy woman who is stalking someone. There is a chance that our relationship will grow. So tonight I’m going to end what we are doing. And if he truly loves me, he will stay and try to work all this out.
One more week. That’s it. Then we are through. She is weakening me. I’m getting more addicted to her pale skin, green eyes, and red hair. I’m addicted to the way she strokes my chest when we are just lying down and the was she looks at me with concern when I become temperamental after having an annoying conversation with a student who is too cocky for his own good.
Willow is a great teacher though. When she got here I don’t think she knew how hard it was going to be, filling Jean’s shoes. The kids didn’t exactly welcome her with open arms. For a matter of fact, neither did I. She earned her respect. And I like that. She has spunk. Yet a certain innocence.
I might have corrupted her though. I used her. When Jean died I sulked. Then Willow came and I had sex. And lots of it.
We used each other. I became disappointed with myself. I don’t know what she thought about it. We never actually sat down and talked about our whole arrangement. It was a silent pact.
The first time we had sex I remember her screaming another name. Tara. I didn’t know until afterwards that Willow was gay. That made the sex after that even more enjoyable. I never understood why, and I don’t want to know, because I know that it will sicken me. Whose name did I moan? Jean’s. She didn’t seem to mind. Until recently. Willow doesn’t scream out Tara’s name anymore. My name is on her lips before she loses it. Next week, I’m going to find out why.
Willow walked back and forth in her bedroom, wringing her hands.
“It needs to stop today. I need to know,” she kept repeating. There was a knock at the door.
“It’s open,” the witch already knew it was Logan.
The door squeaked open and Logan walked in. Dressed in the usual jeans and flannel.
“Hi,” he said gruffly. Usually they never spoke. Willow just jumped on him and began to kiss him passionately.
“Um, hi,” she managed to say. Logan looked into her eyes and realized something was wrong.
“Are you okay?”
“Well err.. Actually no. I don’t want to sleep with you tonight,” she paused briefly to see his response. He just sat on the bed and began to rub his face. “I mean, it’s great and all. And I like it. A lot,” he chuckled at this remark. She continued, “I just, well its just,” her voice broke and she whispered something. Realizing what she had done she covered her face and looked the other way.
Wolverine’s eyes widened. She might have forgotten that he could still hear her even when she spoke so low. He was trying to process what she had said in his head.
“Are you sure?” He knew it was a stupid question but he asked anyway.
The red head nodded. “That’s why I don’t like where our relationship is going. I don’t want to get hurt anymore.”
Logan remained silent, thinking of what to say.
“I need to think about his,” he walked out of the bedroom and went outside. Leaving Willow to stand in her room and think about how things could have been better.
Under a tree Logan searched his pockets for a cigar.
An outstretched hand held a cigar in his face. It was Scott Summers. Logan took it out of his hand and stared at it.
“What are you doing out here?” Scott asked. They weren’t best friends but ever since Jean’s death they were tolerable towards each other.
“About a certain red head?” Wolverine’s eyebrow shot up.
“Not Jean. Willow. It looks like you have a, how should I word this so I don’t meet an end of your claw, liking to her,” Scott said and sighed.
“It would be none of your business anyway,” Logan simply stated. The last person he wanted to talk to was Scott.
“All I’m saying is that if she makes you happy then stay with her. Otherwise if you are just going to hurt her I’ll hurt you.”
“It seems like everyone here is in love with her. People better than me, yet she still wastes her time-” he stopped and looked down.
“That’s how I felt about Jean. But we made each other happy. She would say the same thing to you if she were here,” Scott looked down too.
Logan patted Scott’s shoulder briefly and began to walk away. Then stopped. “I’m just wondering, where did you get the cigar?” He asked while he put the unlit cigar in his pocket.
“You ‘borrowed’ my bike and left a few.”
I can’t run away from this. I usually take the bull by the horns and get things over with. Right now I’m standing outside Willow’s door wondering if I should knock or just walk in. I walked in.
The room was dark. The only light was coming from the bathroom. I could still see her. She was laying on her bed, exhausted, but not sleeping. I could tell that she was faking it.
I took off my boots and climbed into the bed behind her.
“Sorry about running, I should have stayed and talked,” I said while rubbing her back.
She sighed and turned around. Her eyes were puffy from crying. Crap, I messed things up.
“It’s okay,” Willow whispered, she sounded like a child. A very scared child. Scared because I still haven’t commented about the revelation.
What have I done? She is a strong person and now I weakened her. The things love can do to powerful people.
“It’s just,” I have to tell her, she opened her heart to me and now it’s my turn, “Red. Have you moved on from Tara?” Willow bolted up, off the bed.
“Don’t try to make this all about me! I told you I loved you and when I say it I mean it,” she shouted. Her eyes darkened. I slowly got up.
“Listen to me, I just, well I can’t lie. I’m still in love with Jean.”
She looked like I just hit her.
“She’s gone Logan. She won’t come back,” she softly said.
I punched the wall. Now it was my turn to shout. “What about you Red?” I walked up to her and put her back against the wall, “how can you tell me you love me when in the back of your head you still want Tara?”
There was a serge of energy that went between us and I was pushed onto the floor. Her eyes remained dark but now her hair was becoming the same color.
“I will always love Tara, like I will always love Oz. Like I’ll always love my parents even though they ignored me half my life. I can love you too. You have to make things so difficult Logan,” her eyes and hair began to lightened and she slowly sat down. “All you had to say was ‘I love you too.’”
I do love her. Because if I didn’t I wouldn’t care this much about her. How I hurt her.
“I love you, but I think we got off on the wrong foot,” I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck, “you deserve so much, I don’t know if I can give you what you want. I age slowly and I don’t know about kids...”
Willow grinned and got up. She walked up to me and covered my mouth with hers. Then she began to unbutton my flannel and lead me to the bed. I know we need to talk more about our new relationship. But there’s always tomorrow.
~Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.~
- William Shakespeare