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Summary: COMPLETE: An escaped Goa'uld, and rather sadistic Powers to Be, bring Xander out of the dubious security of his quaint little demon filled world, and into a not so quaint alien filled star system.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-Centered > Theme: FriendshipKeiFR1547116,45636410491,202,19619 Jun 0431 Oct 06Yes

Oh, Jackie O

AN: Yes, a bit of a wait, but a long chapter for your patience. Besides, I
wrote a ten page short story in between for the fic-a-thon (which was great fun).
Also, whoever nominated me for a Xander award- way spiffy. *snickers* Sorry,
Angelus/ Judge flashback. I really have to lay off the re-runs.

Umm, no pointy objects thrown at authors who write cliff hangers. Please.
I love you all?


PS: I'm trying very, very hard to remember all my plot lines. Promise.

******************* Trick or Treat: Chapter Twenty One ********************

“Are your men in position?”

“Yes, sir. We’re set to go.”

Senator Robert Kinsey let a satisfied smile curve across his lips. “Very good.
Make your move after dark.”

Why take on a troublesome Slayer and a reportedly powerful witch when he could collect
specimens of a younger, more malleable generation and bend them to his will? Who knew
there was such a treasure trove in Cleveland? Who knew he'd ever thank Jack O'Neill
for anything, let alone for kidnapping Alexander Harris?

Irony could be such a beautiful thing.


Sam couldn’t help but stare wide-eyed at Xander as she knelt at Anise’s side. The
Tok’ra woman was still drawing in deep, shuddering breaths, but her sharp gaze was
also glued to the stoic faced man who had been the inadvertent cause of her pain.

Sam had thought that Anise’s reaction was a remote possibility, but if anything Xander
had been the one most surprised by the Tok’ra’s reaction to his touch. Interestingly
enough, despite the common variable of the symbiote, Sam herself didn’t have any
reaction at all whenever she came into physical contact with Xander. Perhaps because
even though her body retained traces and memories of Jolinar, the Tok’ra’s actual
presence was absent.

Anise turned to her, but it was Freya who spoke. “Who IS that? What is he?”

Sam opened her mouth to answer, but General Hammond interrupted, his own face grave.
“I’m sorry, but that information is classified.”

Xander snorted at that and drew closer to Teal’c. Sam shot a questioning look at the
Jaffa, who merely ignored her and shifted imperceptivity closer to the human at his
side. Funny, even now that ‘Murray’ had been unmasked, he was still the one among
them that Xander trusted the most.

“Classified?” Freya hissed indignantly.

“Yeah,” Colonel O’Neill drawled, “just like all those useful bits of information that
you leave out of all those missions you drag US on.”

“Colonel.” General Hammond snapped.

But it was Daniel who stepped forward. “I’ll tell you what he is,” the archaeologist
said softly, blue gaze coolly assessing the Tok’ra operative.

“Dr. Jackson!”

The younger man ignored the Commander of the SGC. “His name is Xander Harris and he
is the Scourge of the Goa’uld.”


What in the hell? “Scourge of the Ghoul?” Xander demanded into the dead silence that
fell among the room. As far as he could recall he had NEVER been scourge of anything.
The girls had called him Captain Chores for a few months when Willow had gotten him on
a super Spring Cleaning spree, but that was the most fearsome name ever bestowed upon
him to date.

“Goa’uld,” Murray clarified in his formal voice.

Right, Goa’uld, not Ghoul. He was Scourge of the Goa’uld. “What in the hell is a

“The Goa’uld are a parasitical race of aliens who take over humans as hosts against
their will.”

“Teal’c! This is a matter of National Security and you should know better than to…”

“I am sorry General Hammond, but Xander Harris may hold information necessary to win
in the fight against the Goa’uld. I cannot, will not, stand by and allow valuable
resources to be wasted.”

Resources? Now he was a resource? Maybe he should get kidnapped by the military more
often. He never got those kind of compliments at home. Hey… Murray’s name was Teal’c!
That was WAY cooler.

And suddenly Teal’c’s explanation bloomed with full comprehension in Xander’s mind.
Goa’uld- parasites- taking hosts. ‘Think any about that snake that wiggled down your

Fucking hell and damn Bruce to it!

A Goa’uld had tried to climb down his throat. And Willow’s spell had prevented it from
taking over. Only, the more Xander had thought about it, the more he had become
convinced that whatever had repelled ol’ Glow Worm hadn’t just been a little protective
wiccan magic. Sure, Will’s magic had been a lot of it, but Xander had felt the after
affects of the protection spell before, and none of the incidences had ever knocked him

Also, Willow’s spell definitely wasn’t the cause of what he assumed was a reaction from
Teal’c and Anise as well. They were both aliens, duh, but… Xander turned to look at
the big man next to him. “Are you a Goa’uld?”

Anise’s growl was audible but Teal’c merely shook his head regally. “No, Xander Harris.
I am of a race called Jaffa…”

“Teal’c!” General Hammond nearly roared.

Teal’c said nothing more in response but merely stared stonily at the man he consented
to call his Commander. The woman, Anise, slowly drew herself to her feet with Major
Carter’s aid. She swayed but managed to stand on her own and her voice, when she spoke,
was back to its original feminine tone, though any brittle warmth that had earlier
lightened it was gone. “I have no knowledge of this Scourge of the Goa’uld. But I do
not plan on leaving without it.”


“And yet,” Daniel said, oh so sincere regret tingeing his empathetic voice, “you have
an emergency situation at home that needs your immediate attention, hence the reason as
to why this meeting was pushed ahead…”

Jack could have kissed him as Anise glowered in all her horrifying splendor. Score one
for the Geek Squad! Of course, this was all after their resident archaeologist had
opened the can of ‘we’re screwed’ worms, but Danny usually had some idea about what he
was doing.

Part of the territory that came with being recognized as a genius and all.

Jack watched, detached, as Carter, Hammond, and the Tok’ra seductress argued softly
among themselves before Anise, tattered dignity gathered around her unsteady
body, allowed herself to be lead tottering down towards the Gate Room by Carter,
leaving the men alone in the room together. He had NO doubt that Anise would be back.

Colonel Jack O’Neill wasn’t blessed enough to escape that eventuality. Damn fickle
Lady Luck. Sometimes the universe had a really messed up sense of humor.

But the question remained- what was with Daniel’s little slip in front of the kid and
the snake? As a genius, he should really know better. After all it was his own theory
which said that Vampires, assuming they actually existed in some concrete form in real
life, were the Scourge of the Goa’uld.

Not a one-eyed civilian carpenter.

“So, Daniel, what was up with the talk and tell stupidity show?”

“Yes, Dr. Jackson, may I ask what in the blazes you were THINKING when you started

Ohh boy, Hammond was not a happy General. Threatening national security by talking
about very well kept and expensive secrets in front of very high potential security
risks, ie: a certain one eyed-civilian carpenter, was usually considered a major
military no-no. And here Jack thought that Daniel’s training had been going so well…

Daniel coughed gently. “I simply wanted to see if Anise knew about the Scourge of the
Goa’uld.” Blue eyes met Jack’s wary ones. “Can you really see her answering if we had
simply asked her?” He turned and sought General Hammond’s disapproving gaze. “You saw
her reaction to Xander- it was the perfect time to try to get a truthful answer from her.
The fact that she has never heard of it means that the Tok’ra don’t know about the Vampires!”

Jack winced as Xander, who was already starting to look seriously freaked again, paled
again at the words and backed still closer to Teal’c. Way to go Daniel- open mouth,
insert foot.

“Vampires?” General Hammond spluttered.

Oh hell…

“Yes!” Daniel crowed, “The Scourge of the Goa’uld are Vampires!”

“And what do these Vampires do to the Goa’uld? How would they aid in our fight against
the false gods?”

Daniel frowned, clearly at a lost with Teal’c question. “Well, I haven’t quite gotten
that far but…”

Xander, still looking a little white around the face, raised a hand with all of the grim
determination of a man sentenced to death. “Can I ask a question?”


“No,” Jack snapped as Dr. Jackson contradicted him.


General Hammond glared at half of SG-1 before turning his formidable gaze to Xander.
“Son, you need to understand that there are sensitive issues surrounding some of the
events you’ve seen in the past few days and that…”

Okay, enough of the duck and cover evasion tactics. Xander was tired of getting the
runaround. It’s not like he was stupid enough to fall for the same shit he’d been
spewing at idiots for the entirety of his adult life. Hello… secret identity anyone?

Besides, he could feel a moment of clarity coming on and the better prepared for it that
he was, the less likely he’d be blindsided into gape jawed confusion by it. He’d had
very few perfect moments of understanding in his time on earth- most of them,
unfortunately, revolved around how much life on earth could suck and he really wasn’t
looking forward to this next one.

Inconsistencies about Willow’s spell nagged at him in the back of his mind as the Bald
One prattled onward determinedly. “All right, can’t we just play this straight?
General Hammond, I get the whole national security thing, I really do, but aliens are
real- whoo hoo, whop di do. That wouldn’t even make half the people I know blink.
They might tell you ‘I told you so’- in Klingnon, but, really, it’s no big. Cool, but
no big.”

“No big?” Murray… Teal’c asked, questioning tone tingeing his usually formal voice.

“Jack?” Xander asked, not anywhere near ready to properly translate Scooby speak into
alien. He felt a brief pang of grief for Anya, another not so human presence in his
life. Who thought he’d miss talking about his sex life in public places, like church?

Jack raised a brow a bit at his first name but responded anyway, much to Daniel’s
amusement and General Hammond’s annoyance. “Nothing exceptionally remarkable.”

The alien, Jaffa?, inclined his head solemnly in acknowledgement, leaving Xander to
soldier on. “Okay, so aliens are real, whatever. I’ve seen weirder.”

“I doubt that,” Jack muttered under his breath.

Xander grinned toothily at the Colonel. “Oh you’d be surprised. Anyway, aliens, fine,
but these Goa’uld obviously aren’t bestest buddies with us or this Scourge thing
wouldn’t be that big of a deal. So I’m thinking that they’re more big bads. And you’re
thinking that this Scourge thing has to do with Vampires?” He paused, and took a deep
breath as Jack’s sharpened gaze bore into him. Time to go out on a limb and hope he
was saving the world and not screwing it. Apocalypse if you do and Apocalypse if you don't?
What a shitty choice.

“If you’re willing to admit that Vampires are the real deal, I’m willing to admit that I
might be able to help out.”

Especially if Anise’s little screaming act and Teal’c’s manly wincing meant what
Xander’s slowly dawning clarity was hinting at. Which would suck in major, screw with
his head, sorts of ways. But he’d deal.

It wouldn’t be the first time, or even the second, that Xander Harris had been mind

General Hammond kinda looked like he had just sucked a lemon, and Teal’c was more
unreadable as ever, but Dr. Jackson was all bouncy with excitement and Jack O’Neill-
the man who seemed to know enough about Xander to be an enemy or, more importantly,
an ally- seemed eager.

Like Xander’s answers might mean more to him than he should. Like he was a man who
had vested interest in all that Xander was hiding, though not in the scary politically
greedy kind of way. More in the desperate, needy, ‘lost those I loved’ sort of way,
and Xander was fine with that.

It’s not like he hadn’t gone a little psycho himself when Anya had died. If the First
had still been around, he probably would have gotten himself killed trying to take the
son of a bitch out himself. If Buffy, Faith, and Giles hadn’t been stupid and made him
Mommy Booty, if Lindsay hadn’t stuck to him like frightened child glue, he probably
still would have let himself get sucked dry by some bloodthirsty fledgling.

There was a reason he and Giles used to get fall down drunk together.

“Let’s define help first,” Jack finally said.

“All right,” Xander agreed, voice affable and friendly. “Give me a definition and
let’s see if I agree.”

“Details about the Initiative,” the Colonel responded instantly.

“No go, Jack,” Xander replied with equal swiftness.

The two men measured each other up, totally oblivious to the others in the room.

“I need the Initiative, Xander.”

The younger man smiled crookedly and ran a hand through too long hair. “No, I don’t
think you do.”

Jack chewed on that little tidbit before slowly asking, “It’s why you’re here, isn’t
it? Got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time? Made some enemies, got a file...”

Xander shrugged, and suddenly felt old in a way he hadn’t in years. Since the girls
had become enough to make his life complete. “I got caught in the wrong place well
before my time, Jack. You don’t need the Initiative.”

Jack seemed frustrated by his answer, but fascinated too. Who wouldn’t be? Xander
Harris- freak show! “Xander…”

He shook his head. “No. I’ll tell you my secrets but I won’t tell others’. It’s
not my place.”

And pit bull Colonel O’Neill didn’t have anything to say to that.

“Gentlemen?” General Hammond asked with poised gentleness- like a viper right before
it attacked. Xander was REALLY glad he didn’t have to answer to the Bald One.
Tweedy was bad enough.

Jack nodded swiftly, once, and Xander answered for both of them. “Looks like we’re
going to put our heads together and figure out this Scourge thing. Dr. Jackson,
Teal’c, ready to save the world?”

The larger man raised a brow and Dr. Jackson beamed. Tweedy junior? Geeze, with as
little as Giles got out you wouldn’t think there would be so many little Research Men,
especially considering their low reproduction rate. As far as he knew, Giles had
never gotten the girl.

Of course, most of the women interested in Xander had tried to kill him at one point
or another, so he didn’t really have room to talk. Although Preying Mantis Lady HAD
wanted to have sex first. Twenty bucks on the Goa'uld thingy Ash had killed being

General Hammond merely sighed.

“We are saving the world, right?” Xander asked hopefully.

Jack rolled his eyes. “I would hope so.”


Dawn’s blood was pounding in her ears as shaking hands dialed Riley’s home. Oh god,
please be home, please… He HAD to be home. Had to help her. Help them… Damnit Buffy!
Dawn loved her sister, she really, really did, but she REALLY would have preferred to
know about Dr. Jackson's little chat with Giles about twelve hours ago. It was hard
enough to get the blonde Slayer to show up on time for things, let alone to handle
multiple time zones.


She sagged with relief against the kitchen countertop. “Thank god,” she whispered

“Dawn?” Riley asked, voice strengthening with alarm. “Dawnie, what’s going on? What
happened? Is Xander okay?”

“I don’t know!” she hissed into the void left by her sister’s ex-lover's questions.
Dawn paused and took a deep breath to collect herself before continuing. “We… we
haven’t heard from him in days and this evening Buffy called me.” Her harsh laughter
flowed across the line. “She wanted to know if any Initiative types had been poking
around. Apparently someone named Dr. Daniel Jackson called Giles the other day and
wanted to know about Vampires. He worked for the Air Force.” Just like Colonel
'I'm Going to be Dead Soon' O'Neill.

Riley swore with vivid feeling. “Dawn…”

She shook her head angrily. “Riley, we can’t go through that, though this again.
You were supposed to leave us alone! You were all supposed to leave us alone…”

“I don’t know what’s going on, Dawn, but I promise you that I’ll get Graham and make
some calls but…”

Dawn cocked her head and frowned as she heard a slight scratching noise at the screen
door next to the oven. Willow had warded all the Houses against all but the most
powerful demons and the usual human scum tended to give the Slayers in Cleveland a
wide berth. The Booty House wasn’t in the best part of town, but crooks and thieves,
unlike all the shiny happy suburbanites, weren’t nearly as blind to their tentacled
and long fanged neighbors. It hadn’t taken long for even the worst of the worst to
realize that leaving the odd teenagers alone was the best choice for everyone who had
a pulse.

Besides, the one time some moron had mugged Linda, one of Faith’s girls, the older
brunette Slayer had beaten the man so badly that she had to bring him to the hospital
afterwards. News of that kind of thrashing tended to get around, especially in


She ignored Riley as she crept slowly towards the door, eyes narrowed intently on the
lock which was slowly turning on its own accord.


Ashley rolled her eyes at Dillan and Andrew, who were sprawled across the couch in the
living room, watching contraband episodes of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Not that
Ashley had any issues with the show herself because personally, she thought that Kyan
was hot, but Andrew was SO obnoxious about it.

Dillan kept trying to convince him that black was not a good hair color for her light
skinned future Watcher, but the idiot just didn’t listen sometimes. Although, to be
fair, even though Andrew was an idiot he was a very NICE idiot. She hoped that whenever
Giles and Buffy picked her out a Watcher that she’d get along with him as well as Dillan
and Andrew did.

Maybe he’d like sharp objects as much as she did.

Although she wouldn’t get a Watcher of her very own for years and years. Dillan only
got one early because Andrew was a ‘special’ case. That had never been explained
satisfactorily to any of the girls, but one time Ashley had heard Xander on the phone
to Giles talking about how lucky they were to find a girl who wouldn’t throttle the
would be Watcher for being obnoxious.

Which was true. Dillan was a bigger dork than even Heidi, who was really nice once
you got past the Star Trek fixation. When she and Andrew started talking in Elvish,
or ‘dork talk’, then the blonde Slayer usually made herself scarce. Nice dorks or not,
even Ashley had her limits.

She popped up, knife in hand, and pocketed her whetstone lovingly before holding the
weapon up to the light, humming with satisfaction as the newly sharpened edge gleamed.
Pretty weapon!

Dillan raised her head from where it rested on Andrew’s legs. “Where you headed,

She watched the light play on steel for another moment before smiling brightly.
“Sugar fix.”

Dillan watched warily as the knife danced across Ashley’s fingertips in play. “All
right, but last time you got into the pixie sticks Dawn threw a fit.”

She pouted prettily. “That’s only cause I broke that ugly statue.”

Dillan raised a dark brow cheekily. “The one that Buffy gave to Xander for Christmas
two years ago?”

Ashley glared, indignant. “It was an accident!”

“Just like the vase?” Dillan asked sweetly.

“Shut up,” she growled as she stalked towards the kitchen, thinking murderous, pointy
thoughts, knife still twirling in hand.

As Ashley rounded the corner of the dining room and into the kitchen she saw Dawn,
phone in hand, before her Slayer sense warned her of the imminent danger. Nothing demonic,
but definitely nothing good.

“Dawn, down!” she shouted as flood lights filled the darkened kitchen with fluorescent
light that would have blinded anyone with less training than a Slayer. As it was, she
could still see the faint outline of the door as it was burst inward by masked men in

Could see Dawn, big sister like Dawn who played board games and always had time for
girl talk, get casually backhanded hard enough to split the wood of the cabinet doors
as she slammed into them and slumped to the tile, stunned. The phone dangled from
Dawn’s numb fingers. Could see through the red haze of fury that narrowed her vision
to the intruders, the invaders, that dared, DARED to take on Xander’s Slayers in their
sanctuary. Their HOME! The shriek of rage that tore from Ashley’s throat was inhuman,
primal, as she threw herself at the masked men who turned to face her with grim
determination, newly sharpened knife raised.

“She’s armed!”

“Kinsey wants live specimens…”

Could see the glint of polished black metal as it was drawn from a bulletproof vest
and pointed at her breast.

“He won’t mind a dead one.”

Could see a gloved finger pull the trigger to the shiny, shiny weapon.

Felt the bullet as it ripped through her lung, shrieking and burning its way through
her flesh, as she stumbled and fell with one wheezing gasp to the tile floor at Dawn’s
crumpled feet. Her knife clattered into her vision, inches from her seeking fingers,
as the sound of fighting echoed distantly in her ears.

It seemed very cold, and very dark suddenly, despite the light filling the kitchen.
Maybe she should ask Buffy for a bulletproof vest the Christmas. Or just a coat…
It just seemed so COLD on the floor.

So cold.


“Dawn? Dawn! God damnit, answer me!”

Riley stared at the receiver he held in shaking hands as gunshots and screams stopped
his heart where it beat in his chest. He’d failed them. He hadn’t kept them safe.

And Jack O’Neill was going to pay for that.
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