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Trick Or Treat

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Summary: COMPLETE: An escaped Goa'uld, and rather sadistic Powers to Be, bring Xander out of the dubious security of his quaint little demon filled world, and into a not so quaint alien filled star system.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-Centered > Theme: FriendshipKeiFR1547116,45636410491,201,26319 Jun 0431 Oct 06Yes

Story Time

AN: Gee whiz, with this chapter ToT will once again be on the Top list for views
(plus about 100,000), AND I've totally passed 100,000 words. Crazy. You guys are

I'm answering reviews from last chapter directly after this, just FYI.

Also, look for a new Xander centric Harry Potter story that will be, *gasp*, a Xander's
REAL Father story. Yeah, I said I could never write one due to lack of creativity.
I'm not claiming creativity, but the idea has been itching to get out. Look for it

Check out my profile for a list of priority on fic updates.

******************** Trick or Treat: Chapter Thirty-Six ************************

Willow kept her eyes firmly trained on the alien as the tension in the room escalated.
She would have been easier to fool before she got in touch with her Inner Earth
Child. Learning how to draw white magic directly from the Earth had done wonders
for showing her who and who exactly did NOT belong.

Demons and other nasties as a rule, stuck out like gangrenous thumbs, but they were
still from Earth. The African American man standing before her had nothing in him
of home. On an ordinary day she would probably be giddy at the thought of getting
to frighten an actual, honest to goodness ALIEN for real.

Only a leprechaun would be more exciting.

But she’d woken up today with the kind of massive fuzzy headache that told her she’d
either let Xander talk her into a sherry binge again, or that she’d worked some major
mojo. Since she had faint magic hazed memories of stealing her Snoopy Dancin’ friend
away from a secret government base, she was betting the later.

Which meant that Xander, HER Xander, had BEEN locked away at a secret government
facility and well, even if the Initiative stink didn’t smell quite as bad in
hindsight almost eight years later, that didn’t mean that Willow was necessarily
ready to play nice with the military people. Not unless playing involved some very
creative and rather unpleasant magics. And maybe some ducks. It was amazing how
many people were afraid of ducks.


Willow ignored Buffy’s own pleading voice as her narrowed gaze kept the group of
strangers pinned. She could feel Xander and Buff each approaching her from a
different side but ignored them. “These were the people holding Xan.”

“Not holding,” Xander spluttered… “more like visiting with.”

Willow arched a patently disbelieving brow.

“With jello! Visiting with jello!”

She paused for a moment, torn with indecision. “What kind of jello?” she asked

Xander got close enough to rest a wary hand on one slim shoulder. “Red jello.
Very nice jello. Jello without medical experiments.”

Willow’s lips twitched despite herself. “I still think they look shifty.”

The military people, on cue, shifted nervously. Like lambs before the slaughter.

And Xander, Goddess bless him, knew how to handle her so well it was almost pathetic.
He nodded enthusiastically, “Oh they are shifty, the whole lot of them, down to their
shifty little toes. But a good kind of shifty, like Anya trying to sell a fertility
statue. She may have her best intentions at heart, and you can overpay if you’re not
careful, but man, if you buy you’ll be the most fertile couple or old pervy around.”

Willow considered this convoluted line of reasoning carefully. By Californian rules
it was sound. The witch wrinkled her nose delicately before turning away from her
intended prey and focusing on the Xander shaped friend next to her. “Finger and toe

The shaggy haired man shucked off his boots and socks with speed that was truly
impressive without Slayer abilities. The entire room, with the exception of Buffy,
Dawn, and Giles, blinked with shock as the most powerful witch in the world stood
there, brought back from the brink of a new apocalypse, or at least a sound ass
kicking, to count her best friend’s digits.

Ten fingers.

Ten toes.

One eye, but that couldn’t be helped.

Stupid Caleb.

“No kablooie?” Xander asked with all the hopefully earnestness of a kicked puppy.

Willow thought carefully before finally responding, “I reserve the right to dismember
later, but I’m ready to be clear-headed and reasonable.”

The oldest of the military men snorted, clearly skeptical, but Xander grabbed her
before she could react. “Down Wills…” she could feel, with some annoyance,
Xander glaring fiercely over her head. “Bad Jack!”

Buffy giggled before wagging her finger at the outraged older man. “Bad doggie, no
treat for you!”

“Dear lord,” Giles muttered, exasperated, from the other side of the room.

Willow tried not to let too much of her disgruntlement show at the situation because,
honestly, she was TRYING to be a Good White Witch, but that didn’t stop her from
glowering at “Jack” as his mouth flapped open in outrage over Buffy and Xander’s

Maybe just a little dismemberment spell?

“Hey Wills, will you do a favor for me?”

She tensed in Xander’s arms, wary, because her bestest of friends knew her too well.
He was up to something. “Like what?”

The military people had quieted at this point and were watching. Stupid little mice.



He rested his chin on the part of her hair and she leaned into him with a sigh. She
liked XANDER non-dismembered. He hugged better that way. “So, Teal’c, the nice
alien you just threatened to kill, isn’t always welcome on Earth I think.” Willow
watched carefully as Jack’s eyes snapped to Xander and narrowed, giving himself away,
but he, nor Teal’c and the others did anything to stop her bestest friend from
speaking, voice conversational. “Sometimes, I’d even bet to venture, some of the
less savory branches of the US government just can’t stand it and try to take him
away for a little trip to see how he works inside.” Willow drew up in outrage.
“And that’s what I need your help with.”

Yeah, he knew her too well. Having best friends sucked.

“See, Wills, I want you and Buff and Giles and Dawnie and I to go next door and have
a little chat with Jack and Teal’c. Jack’s too stubborn to let a little thing like
regulations affect him, and I want you to work some mojo so next time some new up-and-
comer decides he wants to play Operation and interrogation with our friendly resident
alien, Teal’c friends here won’t have to go all Court Marshall to rescue him.”

Willow sighed unhappily. Yeah, yeah, she just BET the government would want to know
about this soon to be powwow. “There’s going to be spillage of secrets, isn’t

Xander chuckled darkly. “On both sides of the fence, Wills.”

She brightened visibly at that. Secrets were fun! Especially when they involved the
military and all their dancing skeletons. “Promise he’s a good alien?”

Xander stepped away and chucked her under the chin with a cheeky grin. “Who do you
think was the Bringer of Jello?”

The red haired witch blinked once, twice, and nodded decisively. Who else indeed?

Xander softened and sent the alien a suspiciously reassuring smile. Ah, Xander
thought he was cool. Xander didn’t always have the best judgment, but Teal’c wasn’t
a woman, so this whole “alien is good” thing wasn’t doomed from the start.

Stupid preying mantis lady.

“You’re doing a good thing Wills.”

When even Buffy nodded grudgingly, which was a big deal considering Buffy thought
beating the military with stupid sticks to be an acceptable Olympic sport, she
thought of Oz getting taken by the Initiative for experimentation, and nodded.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m a big spineless puddle of Wicca.”

The younger human man raised a hesitant hand. “So we’re not dying?”

Buffy snorted. “Not unless Jack Ass O’Neill gets especially annoying.” The blonde
threw Willow a warm easy grin. “Good puppy!” The Mini Slayers breathed a collective
sigh of relief. Buffy tugged Willows hand as she started herding people out of the
room. “Come on children, let go play nice with each other.”

The two remaining members of the military group were looking decidedly befuddled and
lost as Buffy, ever efficient in her airhead state, quickly managed to shove Willow,
Xander, Jack, Teal’c, Giles, and a somewhat wobbly Dawn towards the door. Dawn shot
her sister an evil glare at being force marched across the room in her hospital gown
but she didn’t utter a peep of complaint.

Sometimes older sisters just lived to be annoying.

“Wait…” the blonde military woman said helplessly, “what are we supposed to be

“Yeah!” the somewhat, if Willow was at all still straight, attractive one chimed in,
“How come we don’t get to go?”

Xander stuck his head back in the room and fixed them with a one-eyed glare that
would make even a bunny freeze in its happy-go-lucky evil induced tracks. “Because
I said so.”

“Yeah,” rumbled Riley as he stood and deposited Haley in Andrew’s lap, “and why
don’t WE get to go?” Graham stood as well, looking very dangerous and sleek. “WE’RE not
security risks.”

This time it was Buffy who simply stuck her tongue out derisively at Riley before
fixing him with the glare that had helped doom their relationship. “Because I said

Riley and Graham both sat down abruptly.

The blonde Slayer rocked back on her heels, considering, and even Willow worried a
little bit at the glint in her eyes. “How about the girls entertain you all with
some stories we’ve told them of OUR exploits from good ol’ Sunny D?”

Willow raised mental brows at that one, but she wasn’t the smartest girl at Sunnydale
High for nothing. It was patently clear that, stories about boogie monsters aside,
Brown and Blonde had NO idea who they were dealing with. Or, more precisely, being
left with.

Apparently the whole "forces of darkness" cat had been let out of the bag. Slayers
were still firmly suoffocating in their burlap sack, though not for long with the rate
this little shindig was going,

The cute, not cute, military man perked up himself at that, “Vampires?”

Heidi was the first girl to start looking wicked. “Oh yes, Vampires…”

Valerie beamed. “And Demons…”

But it was Angelique who clapped her hands together in real delight. “And killer snot
monsters from space!”

“I heard that!” Giles’s clipped voice bellowed very Britishly from the hall.

The military woman simply looked resigned.

“Oh, AND, Faith is going to be here soon with the rest of the Booty House.”

Riley and Graham looked pained.

Willow stepped out into the hallway and linked her arm with Xander’s, proud. He’d
raised his girls so well.
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