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The Agricultural Secretary's Revenge

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Summary: DtVS 3. You've read the sequel, now read the... um, trequel.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > West Wing > GeneralNomadFR1375,2561126,64824 Jun 041 Aug 04No

Wolf Burglars

"I can't believe we're doing this."

"I can't believe we're actually this stupid."

"Strangely, I have no trouble believing either." Donna rolled her eyes. "Now, are you two going to help me with this, or do I need to tie you up to a streetlight so you don't get in any trouble while I'm inside?"

Sam shifted his feet uncomfortably. "I feel like a cat burglar."

"Wolf burglar," said Josh.

"Quiet, Joshua." Donna moved away from the two men to inspect the building. They had decided that for this particular mission, it was best that the Sunnydale team steered clear. If things went wrong, the three of them could bluff their way out of it more easily than two Englishmen and a California teenager.

"I just know we're gonna get caught," worried Sam.

"It's the Department of Agriculture, Sam, not the Oval Office," Josh reminded him. "We're not exactly up against the might of the Secret Service."

"There'll be security."

"We'll just tell them we're on top secret government business."

"Breaking into buildings in the middle of the night?"

"Our government favours a hands-on approach." He moved over to stand beside Donna, his breath as he spoke close enough to warm her cheeks. "See anything?"

"Many things. Including that window."

Josh followed her gaze and blinked. "Um... a little high, maybe?


"No, just unathletic."

Donna sniggered. "Baby. I'll go up myself, and let you old men in through the door."

Josh pulled a face, but simply said "Want me to give you a leg-up?"

"I'd rather have Sam do it. I trust him not to drop me."

Josh looked wounded. "You think I'd drop you?"

"Your phone rings, you'd drop me like a shot. And then probably expect me to answer it for you."

Sam stared at him. "You brought your cellphone?"

"I turned the ringer off!" Josh said defensively. "Hey, I'm the Deputy Chief of Staff! Leo could be calling to tell me it's the end of the world."

"I thought that was what we were working on already?"

Donna snorted. "Yeah, well if we left it to you two the world'd be in a whole heap of trouble. Guys?" They both moved forward to give her a hand up.

The window was locked, or perhaps just jammed shut. Donna fiddled with it for a moment, then gave in and just slammed a hand against the top. It shot open so fast it nearly knocked her down.

Slayer powers gone, my ass.

She wriggled through the window as elegantly as possible, trying not to think about the view she was presenting to the two men below. Screw it. I'm a woman in the prime of my... womanhood. Let 'em stare.

She squirmed around to look down at Josh, whose forehead was adorably wrinkled with concern. "Be careful!" he called up. Donna smiled down at him.

"Okay, mom." She dropped the ground inside the building.

Donna found herself in a dusty room full of file cabinets. Home away from home. She made her way around to the door, and quickly unbolted it. There wasn't even an alarm; you'd have to be fairly starved for entertainment to try stealing agricultural records.

As Sam slipped inside, she was amused by the way he was ridiculously careful not to touch anything. "Fingerprints," he elaborated stuffily, at his companions' matching smirks.

"Sam, is there some reason we don't know about why the DC police department would have your fingerprints on file?" Josh asked.

"They might come checking for suspects."

"In the White House?"

"Point," Sam conceded. But he kept the sleeves of his jacket tugged down over his hands, reminding Donna of nothing so much as an overgrown six-year-old.

Stifling a giggle, she closed the door behind them and took a look around. It was a depressing sight. This looked more like a warehouse than part of an office, row after row of bulging file cabinets. "Files," she said dryly. Annoyingly, neither of her companions chimed in with the words 'lots of files'. Dammit, am I the only one here who's ever seen the X-Files? She would have expected Sam to be the kind to follow with geekish fanaticism. Maybe he was more into Star Trek.

"How are we supposed to find anything in here?" whinged Josh. Donna rolled her eyes at him.

"It may shock you, Joshua, to know that files do not magically appear when you call for them. There is a very secret, ancient process we assistants go through, known only by the mysterious name of 'looking'."

"We're not looking for a file. We're looking for a box."

"And Captain Obvious has a challenger for his post! Yes, Josh, we're looking for a box. It belongs to the Agricultural Secretary; so does this building. Hence, the looking."

Josh sighed, and stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Gee, this is gonna be fun."

The End?

You have reached the end of "The Agricultural Secretary's Revenge" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 1 Aug 04.

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