Title: Surely You Jest!
Spoilers: OotP for HP, S7 for BTVS.
Summary: Luna's ramblings alarm Giles . . .
Notes: Response to 20 Minutes with Giles Challenge.
"You went to Sweden, looking for Crumple-Horned Snorkacks?"
Luna nodded her head and flashed the stunned Watcher a dreamy smile. "Yes, though we failed to spot one. It's quite all right though; Daddy promised me that we would go again this summer-"
"Stop it," Giles held up his hand for silence. "That is quite enough Miss Lovegood. I will not tolerate this kind of nonsense any longer."
Luna looked momentarily shocked at the Watcher's outburst, though Hermione just sighed and clucked her tongue in sympathy. "I've tried telling her that several times, Mr. Giles," the Head Girl informed him. "But she doesn't listen, even though I've pointed out numerous times that these creatures do not exist and that there has never been any proof-"
"I'm afraid that now I must stop you Miss Granger," Giles gave the young witch a measuring look. "I never said that the Snorkack didn't exist; I merely wished to point out that hunting after them is a very bad idea."
Hermione looked shocked. She opened and closed her mouth several times and shot confused looks between Luna and Giles for a few minutes. "You mean, they exist?" she asked in disbelief.
"Oh yes, they do," Giles confirmed. "And they're nasty little critters. You best stay away from them Miss Lovegood. While the horn on their skulls may be crumpled, they can still use it to skewer careless young witches who get too close. If you value your life and the life of your father, you won't ever go searching for Crumple-Horned Snorkacks again."
"I don't believe this," Hermione murmured in a faint voice. She cast another shocked look Luna's way, and to her credit, Luna did not appear smug in the least. If anything, the witch looked curious.
"Now, I'm afraid I've run off topic again," Giles said abruptly. "I'm sorry, at this rate you girls will never get all the sources you need for your research. Just hang on one second and I'll fetch you a copy of the revised Handbook. It's far better at explaining what happened than I am, and everything you ever needed to know about the activation of the Slayer army is in there."
"Thank you sir," Luna said serenely, while Hermione was still floored by the revelation that Crumple-Horned Snorkacks were real, and that Luna had been right all along. "We appreciate this very much."
"Anything for two of Albus's students," Giles replied kindly, though he frowned when he saw how befuddled Hermione appeared to be. "Miss Granger, are you all right?"
Hermione shook herself and gave the Watcher a weak smile. "Quite all right, sir," she assured him. "I guess I was just surprised to hear that the creatures Luna's always talked about are for real. I suppose I owe you an apology Luna. I promise I won't ever chide you for your beliefs again. Be they Snorkacks or Nargles-"
"Nargles?" Giles interrupted in alarm. "Did you say 'Nargles'?"
"Yes," Luna nodded. "They infest the Christmas mistletoe the school puts up around the holidays. I've tried to warn people about them, but-"
"Oh dear Lord," Giles paled and started up the staircase. "In the mistletoe? I must contact Albus! This could end up being disastrous! Come on girls, up to the fireplace. I must admit, I'm becoming very alarmed. First Snorkacks and now Nargles? I thought Albus and the rest of the staff would be mindful of these sorts of things, but it appears they've overlooked them. There's no telling what other creatures may be infesting the school grounds as we speak."
"Well, I thought I saw Blibbering Humdinger once in fourth year," Luna offered tentatively.
"A Blibbering Humdinger? My word . . ."