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Familial Mayhem (Angry All the Time)

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Summary: Extended from the original Angry all the Time. From funerals to weddings, the O'Neill-Summers-Giles family tends to cause mayhem. Lots and lots of mayhem and Cassie gets annoyed...Contains slight mentions of slash.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > General > Team: SG-1 Seasons(s) 1-5MariaFR18638,42311511,72828 Jun 0413 Jun 05Yes

Angry all the time

Title: Angry all the time

Author: Maria

Disclaimer: I do not own anything other than two OCs, one of which I believe my muse would like to claim. Besides which, they’re old British ladies. What do I really want with them? Joss owns the Buffy universe and MGM owns Stargate. Well, we think they do anyway. If not, Stargate belongs to whoever owns it.

Genre: Action/Adventure but it leans into the humor genre as well

Rating: PG-13

Characters: Giles, Jack and other BtVS and Stargate SG-1 characters

Timeframe: After Season 3 for Buffy although it’s still slightly AU for Buffy. No specific season for Stargate although it’s set when Cassie is fifteen. My sister knows the season for that; I don’t. Hold on just a sec…She says it’s set somewhere during season four. I’ll pretend I know what she’s talking about since I don’t actually watch the show very often.

Summary: Who knew what could happen at funerals?

A/N: Alright so this is the Midyear fic-a-thon response for Tassos. I tried to make it action/adventure the way she wanted but I have the feeling that I failed horribly. *sighs* I still hope she likes it and forgives me. I had a very hard time getting my muse to cooperate. Said muse was sulking over me going on vacation and leaving her behind. Which is, by the way, the reason why it took so long to get this out. Have fun reading!

Author’s Request

Author’s name: Tassos

Genre: Stargate

Max Rating: PG-13

Characters: Giles

Type: action/adventure

Want To See: Giles as the fighter and not the brain - in fact his knowledge

comes out as a surprise

Not Want To See: No romance, no calling Giles for help on a translation

Here we are

Colonel Jack O’Neill glared at his team. Daniel Jackson just grinned back at him while Major Samantha Carter turned away to hide her snickering. Teal’c was impassive as Jack started rant.

“They should have won! How could they have not won? Didn’t you see that play? Why didn’t the Avalanches win? Why did the Bruins win?!”

Sam shook her head. “Colonel, it’s a game. Why does it matter?”

“Why does it matter? Did you hear her, Danny? Why does it matter? Teal’c, you tell her why it matters!”

Before Teal’c could answer Jack’s demand with a response that probably would have had the colonel committed to the insane asylum, the phone rang. Being the closest to the phone, the Jaffa answered. “This is ColonelO’Neill’s residence, Teal’c speaking. If you have business you wish to discuss with ColonelO’Neill, press one now. If you have pressing issues to discuss in the field of telemarketing, press two now…You are ColonelO’Neill’s father?”

At that point in the conversation, Daniel and Sam were both in tears. They’d laughed so much that neither could form a coherent sentence. Jack snatched the phone from Teal’c having stopped chuckling when the caller had been identified as his father. “Dad, what’s wrong? What happened? Dad…you can’t expect me to go. Dad! Yes, sir. I’ll see you then. Bye, love you too.”

“My father’s dead.” Jack said this blandly as if he hadn’t just been talking to the man fifteen seconds before.

Daniel and Sam suddenly sobered. Daniel was the first of the two to speak. “Jack, you were just talking to your dad. How could he be dead?”

“Yes, ColonelO’Neill. I do not understand how a man could be talking on the telephone with us and yet tell you that he is dead.”

“It’s simple,” Jack tried to explain. “He’s not dead, but my biological father is.”

“Wasn’t that Mr. O’Neill?” Sam asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Yes,” Jack nodded.

“Then how is he not your biological father?” Sam continued her line of questioning.

“He adopted me when he got married to Mom. My biological father took off when I was a year old or so. I only met the bastard once, when I was in my twenties and stationed overseas. Now I have to go to his funeral and play nice.”

Teal’c inquisitively quirked his eyebrow. “Why go to the funeral if you didn’t like him?”

“Dad told me to get my butt there ‘cause even my half-sister’s coming. He says that if she can come to a funeral for a man she’s never met, I can show up since I actually share blood with the jerk.”

“I’ll call General Hammond and tell him that SG-1 will be gone for your biological father’s funeral,” Sam volunteered quietly.

“Tell him?” Jack asked her with a laugh.

“Beg him to let us off for it?” she good-naturedly corrected herself.

“If all of you even want to attend the damn thing,” Jack sighed.

“We’re all going and you can’t stop us,” Daniel told him. Then he looked at Sam. “You better get to calling.”

What is left of a husband and a wife, four good kids

Who have a way of gettin’ on with their lives

Several states away, a different type of team was gathered together. Four teenagers were sprawled across the floor of a suburban home while their parental figures watched over them. All four were caught in various stages of sleep. The brunet, Xander Harris, grumbled about food running away from him even as the two redheads, Willow Rosenberg and Daniel “Oz” Osborne, curled around each other. The blonde girl, Buffy Summers, thrashed slightly as she fought the monsters that haunted her even in sleep.

The father figure, Rupert Giles, smiled sadly. “They look almost peaceful, don’t they?”

His companion nodded. “That they do. They don’t look like eighteen year olds who blew up the school three weeks ago.” Joyce Summers eyed her daughter. “Hank wants her to stay the summer.”

“What did Buffy say?” Giles asked.

“She said she had too many responsibilities here to leave.”

Before either could continue the conversation, the phone rang. Not wanting ‘her’ kids woken up, Joyce answered immediately. She carried the phone out of the room and returned about ten minutes later. “We need to wake up the kids.”

“What’s wrong, Joyce?”

“My half-brother’s father just died and I have to be at that funeral. I don’t want to take any of the kids into that environment, but I don’t want to send them home either.” This was a reference to the fact that she’d kept all of them at her house ever since she’d discovered that Xander was an abused child and Willow was an abandoned one. That had been several weeks before the graduation fiasco.

“Before we wake them up, I’ll go home and make certain there aren’t any messages on my phone.” For a second, Giles wondered what outsiders would make of the domestic scene being played out. And then he realized that he and Joyce were acting like a couple-either that or a couple-to-be.

“Alright, but hurry.” Joyce bit her lip. “I need to order my plane ticket and I don’t know how much longer these four will stay asleep.”

“Xander’s chasing food. He’ll be there for hours.”

“Unless the food bites him again,” Joyce laughed.


I’m not old but I’m getting a whole lot older every day

Giles looked around his apartment in dismay. Had he been gone from England so long that he hadn’t noticed the decline? But with a nod, he acknowledged that he had. Not only that, but he’d stayed away from the older man ever since he’d realized that the man didn’t pay much attention to his family. Before Giles had found out about his mentor’s betrayal, he’d been headed down the straight and narrow.

Then his mentor had turned out to have a son three years older than Giles. His mentor had left his first wife and son before the son, Jack, was even two years old. Giles had been sixteen when he’d found out about Jack quite accidentally.

Giles crossed over to the mirror. Hidden behind it were three photographs. There was one of Ethan and Ripper at about fifteen before they’d gotten completely out of control, one of Jack O’Neill, and the last one was a family portrait.

Rupert Giles flipped the Giles family portrait over, noting that it had been taken the year his mother died. In his mother’s handwriting, it listed those in the photo. His mother, Andrea Caroline Giles, was in there of course. He had just turned seventeen and his little sister, Janet, was seven. She’d been taken to live in Louisiana with some French Creole aunt after their mother’s death.

And then his gaze ghosted onto the last name. Lord Jonathon Giles, minor nobleman and landowner in Sussex County, had shown up for the picture at least. He had been too busy with his slayer, Lillian, to show up the other three times the pictures had been scheduled. Lord Giles had been attentive towards his heir up until his son had rebelled.

It never seemed to matter to the man Rupert had considered his mentor that Rupert had rebelled because his father had kept a whole other family from his second family.

Rupert gnawed on his lip, not caring that it would end up bleeding. He hadn’t talked to his father in over twenty years, and now Lord Jonathon was dead.

“Guess I should go tell Joyce that I have to attend a funeral as well. I suppose I should take two of them, and she should take two of them. Then we’ll meet up again when we all return from the damn funerals,” he muttered aloud.

It’s too late to keep from goin’ crazy

Jack looked around the small group of relatives that had already gathered. He didn’t know most of them, and didn’t want to. His parents would arrive in five hours or so and his little sister hadn’t called to say when her plane was due to arrive. Oh, and until the funeral, they were all stuck at the same hotel. Some relation apparently owned it, which meant that they were all staying for half the normal price.

“Breathe, Colonel.” Sam had come up behind him

“Breathe?” Jack all but snarled. “I have never seen these people before and for all I know, they could be Apophis in disguise. Did you ever consider that possibility?”

Sam rolled her eyes. “Sure, Jack. You just want to get out of this funeral by pleading insanity.”

“It’s not insanity if it actually happens!”

A blonde girl came up to them as Jack uttered that strange remark. “Okay, I like you people, whoever you are. Do either of you know where the food bar is?”

“There’s a food bar?” Jack’s eyes lit up.

“Yes, there’s food around here, but it might as well be in the main Hell dimension for all I know where it is,” Buffy told him. “I’m Buffy.”

“Sam,” the other blonde introduced, “and he’s Jack. Dare I ask why an American teenager is attending the funeral of an English guy?”

“Xander and I were given two choices. We could come to this funeral or we could go to a funeral for Mom’s half-brother’s father. But either way, two of us were headed to each funeral.” Buffy shrugged. “Willow and Oz said they were going to that funeral before Xander and I could so we ended up here.”

“There you are!” Giles was more than relieved to find at least one of his ‘children’ but now he had to find the other one. “Do you know where Xander is?”

“Chill, Giles. Do you know where the food bar is?”

“Oh, yes. That makes perfect sense…”

“Of course it does,” Buffy’s tone was exasperated. “It’s Xander. What do you really expect?”

“Wait, Giles?” Jack hoped his voice was calm. The one time he’d met his biological father, he’d only heard of distant relatives. “You’re related to the guy who died?”

“Unfortunately, I’m his son.” Giles rolled his eyes at the heavens. It was far too likely that his father hadn’t told Jack of him and Janet. “He had about as much time to spare for me as he did for you. The only difference is that he could at least say that he was in the same country as me.”

“You’re saying I have a brother as well as a sister?” Jack confirmed.

“Oh, good. He did tell you about Janet.”

“Who’s Janet?” Sam and Jack chorused in unison.

“Obviously Giles, your father didn’t enlighten him about Miss Raised-away-from-the-land-of-tweed so you’re going to have to do it.” Giles just glared at his slayer. She was getting entirely too much enjoyment from his pain.

I’ve got to get away

At the food bar, Xander had discovered that not only was everything free, it tasted good too. So he was barreling along at full speed ahead when he ran into something…someone. Someone who went into babble-mode as Xander ran into them. Willow-babble.

“Will?” His voice was full of questions.

“Xand?” She spoke at the same time he did in the exact same tone of voice.

“What are you doing here?” Again, the question was in unison.

The redhead answered first. “Joyce’s half-brother’s father died. You know that. Oz and Joyce went to find her half-brother while I came to find food. Airline food has the capability of biting back.”

“I don’t know why you say that,” Xander complained. “Airline food isn’t that bad.”

“This from the bottomless pit.” Willow rolled her eyes.

As the two walked out of the room towards the larger room where most of the guests had been gathering, they continued to bicker. “There is nothing wrong with being a growing boy with a healthy appetite.”

“A healthy appetite is one thing, Xander, but your appetite isn’t. It’s abnormal.”

And I understand that lovin’ a man shouldn't have to be this rough

You ain’t the only one who feels like this world left you far behind

I don’t know why you gotta be angry all the time

As the lifelong friends walked into room, several things happened at once. One, Joyce and Giles spotted each other. Two, Oz and Buffy saw each other and then their respective ‘travel buddies.’ And three, Jack caught sight of his younger sister.

Sam and Daniel, who had been talking to some of the extended Giles family, watched in disbelief as their team leader rushed Joyce. He swept her off her feet and spun her around. “Glad you made it, sis. Where’s your pipsqueak, pipsqueak?”

“I’m here; you can put me down now, bro,” she noted dryly. “And my pipsqueak is close anyway. Not certain how close, but close enough.”

“Really?” Jack asked in interest. As a redheaded girl came running up to his sister, he commented, “I didn’t know red hair ran in the family.”

Giles snarled. “You should try actually paying attention to the people you call family, Jonathon.”

“And why’s that, Lord Giles?” Both brothers matched each other word for word. Buffy stepped out of the fray and pulled Sam and Daniel with her. She nodded to Teal’c, who despite setting off her spidey-sense, seemed like a nice albeit quiet man. Or demon. She wasn’t really sure what he was.

“The blonde girl you were talking to is your niece. Her name’s Buffy Summers, just in case you didn’t know!”

Jack broke then, landing the first punch. As flesh met jawbone, Giles let Ripper out. A spinning kick to the family jewels had Jack wincing but a punch to the stomach had Ripper doubling up.

Buffy grinned from the sidelines and yelled, “You’re not going to show him what you’re made of, Watcher-mine?”

That breathed new life into the Englishman. As he threw Jack into the hardwood floor repeatedly, Sam came alive. “Don’t let some relative you don’t like beat you! Come on!”

Then it was Jack’s turn to come up swinging and pummel his half brother.

Joyce had had enough of watching the two men she loved, one as a brother and the other as a friend, fight. “Stop it this instant! Honestly, why do you have to hate each other?”

Our boys are strong, the spittin’ image of you when you were young

I hope someday they can see past what you have become

By the time Michael and Mary O’Neill arrived in England, SG-1 and the Scoobies had claimed one room just for them. Oz and Willow had called a corner and were both curled up there. Xander and Buffy had found a PS2 somewhere and had hooked it up to the television. They’d challenged Teal’c-they hadn’t bought ‘Murray’ and Buffy had conned him into telling his real name-and Sam to a game of guys against girls racing. All four were sprawled in front of the television studiously ignoring the random outbursts from the couches. Daniel had ended up sitting next to Jack on one couch while Giles and Joyce were on another.

The man at the front desk directed the elder O’Neills to the room. If they thought the fact that the man was wearing green makeup was weird, they didn’t say anything. At least, they didn’t say anything until they’d reached the room with the sign on the door.

“Peace talks in progress-do not interrupt,” Mary read out loud. “Why does that worry me to death?”

“I have the feeling, my darling, that it is supposed to be a good thing.” Immediately after he said that, however, there was a large crash from inside. Michael slipped the key card in and turned the knob. Immediately, both rushed in.

It was with amusement that they viewed the scene within. Their daughter was standing above their son with her hands on her hips. Her older brother was holding his head and moaning, presumably due to the books that lay scattered around him.

“Now, brother dearest, you better listen to Rupert or else there will be heavier objects launched at you.” Joyce exchanged an almost feral smirk with her friend. Then she noticed where her daughter’s attention had gone. “Mom? Dad? You made it.”

“Good job, Mrs. S,” Xander grinned. “You just made it sound like they’d arrived for a party instead of a funeral.”

“Is that why the guy at the front desk was wearing green makeup?” Michael asked slowly.

“That’s Lorne,” Buffy told everyone. “He’s some sort of demon that can tell your future by listening to you sing. He’s the bartender.”

“How do you know this, young lady?” The look on Mrs. Summers’ face told her ‘children’ that Buffy was in boiling hot water.

“I asked him why he was here,” she shrugged. “He knew me, I knew him.”

“He’s here because he’s the bartender?” If Giles’s eyebrows ventured further up his forehead, Buffy knew that she’d be screwed.

“Yeah, didn’t I just say that?”

“Did you say ‘demon?’” Jack asked slowly. “Because, you know, demons don’t exist.”

I remember every time I said I’d never leave

What I can’t live with is memories of the way you used to be

And I understand that lovin’ a man shouldn’t have to be this rough

While Jack was having conniption fits about the impossibility of demons existing, Dr. Janet Frasier was having a conversation with her teenage daughter. At fifteen, Cassandra Frasier was headstrong and curious.

“I don’t get it!” she repeated for the fourth time in as many minutes. “You said you grew up in Louisiana!”

“I did, Cassie.” Janet returned to gazing out the window at the clouds. “I was born in England and adopted by my American aunt.”

“You never said that you were adopted!” Cassie protested again. She then felt her mother’s forehead and queried, “Do you feel sick? Have you been taken as a host?”

“No, dear. I’m not only well, I’m also quite myself.” Janet flashed a smile at the teen before wondering how many mothers would have gotten that question asked of them. “Do you want to hear the story before we get there?”

Cassie nodded.

“My mother, Andrea Giles, died when I was seven years old.” Janet pulled a broken locket out of her purse. Opening it, she pointed to the family portrait. “That one there is my brother Rupert. I used to call him Bert because I was obsessed with Sesame Street when I was small, despite the fact that it was an American TV show.”

“What about him?” Cassie inquired, gesturing to the man standing behind Andrea. “Is that your dad?”

“He was my father. Actually, it’s his funeral we’re going to.”

“You mean he’s been alive all these years?” At Janet’s nod of assent, Cassie started to seethe. “But you said you went to live with Grandma when your mom died.”

“I did.” Janet went back to scrutinizing the clouds that were shifting below them. “Work always came first with Jonathon Giles. I remember that we rescheduled the portrait more than once because he was busy doing…whatever he did at work.” The military doctor shook her head. “Bert said he was too busy with Lillian to show up. Mother slapped him upside the head, and Lord Quetzal Travers chuckled. It was really strange; Lord Travers made some remark about Bert being that busy one day. Bert lost it on him.” Janet chuckled ruefully. “I know now that I was being left out of the loop on something although I still have no idea what that something was.”

“How did she die?”

“There were complications while she was in labor. My little brother came out of the womb with the cord around his neck. The midwife kept telling all of us to get out of Mother’s room. Mother said she needed to keep pushing and the midwife agreed. Then she said she saw a foot. She was really worried when she said that-”

“You know what that means now,” Cassie interrupted.

“Yes, I do. At the age of seven, however, I only knew that something was terribly wrong. Mother kept saying that she wanted a natural birth but the midwife was on the phone with a doctor and ignoring Mother’s wishes. Bert and I just held baby Robinson, who had been placed in our care the moment that his cord was cut. There was Death hanging in that room, not that I understood that then.”

She paused to take a moment to breathe so Cassie asked her something she’d started to wonder. “What happened to your little brother, Robinson?”

“They took Robbie away when Mother started convulsing. She was having seizures as I followed him. Bert was torn between staying with Mother and following me. He chose to stay. I chose to go and I was there when Father came home. He was covered in blood some of it was his, I suppose. He saw my nanny, Tallinn, carrying Robbie and he lost his temper. As I recall, he started to scream at Tallinn. He wanted to know why his wife wasn’t nursing his son; Tallinn told him what was going on in the master bedroom. He grabbed Robbie and…they would later rule that it was crib death despite the fact that Robbie wasn’t in a crib. Tallinn died under suspicious circumstances the day before my mother and brothers’ funerals.”

“Your father-the guy whose funeral we’re going to-killed your baby brother? And the nanny that was there that night?” Cassie looked confused. “But why didn’t he kill you? You saw it happen.”

“I was hiding behind the curtain. I was seven years old and my mother was dying in the room above me. Would anyone have believed me even if he had realized I was there?”

“They wouldn’t have, would they?” Cassie was deep in thought. “Your mother was giving birth to twins though. What happened to other one?”

“A doctor came and tried to operate. No one realized that she was highly allergic to the anesthetic that he gave her as he put her under. Not only did she never come out of it, but the other twin was stillborn anyway.”

The brunette whistled softly. “Ouch. No wonder you fit into Grandma’s family so well. Your biological family was part of a fucking soap opera.”

“Cassandra! Watch your mouth!”

“Yes, Mom.” Then she cocked her head. “What happened to Bert?”

“I wrote him a bunch of times. However, they always came back unopened and one day my last one came back marked ‘recipient deceased.’”

“Great,” Cassie rolled her eyes, “I finally get a chance of getting more family-not that you’re not great, Mom-and they’re all dead!”

“It’s rather sad, isn’t it?” Janet remarked quietly.

You ain’t the only one who feels like this world left you far behind

I don’t know why you gotta be angry all the time

Lorne, who was currently filling in for Mr. Michel on front desk duty, stared at the woman and her daughter.

The woman had a conflicted aura. She didn’t want to be at the funeral of the one who had brought so much pain into her life. But neither did she want to miss out on the opportunity to visit the rest of her family’s graves. She kept wishing that death hadn’t called her family one by one and yet she considered her aunt’s family to be more her family than the one death had taken.

Her daughter was equally confusing. She had never heard of this man before his death. Now that she had, however, she wished that he were still alive so that she could kill him. And because she was humming under her breath, he knew that she thought he was an alien. The next thought made his jaw drop. She thought he was an alien because she was one too.

Just out of curiosity and because he had the feeling that the woman was more than she appeared as well, he asked, “Would you please sing?”

“Excuse me? Are we talking doe a dear a female deer re a drop of golden sun mi a name I call myself etcetera here or an actual song?” Janet demanded of the green guy that she wondered was an alien or just on his way to a sci-fi convention.

Instead, Lorne nodded to himself. “You know, sweet cheeks, not everything is as it seems.” He tossed the keys to their rooms into the air.

Cassie caught hers with a scowl. “What’s my room number?”

“You’re in 103 and your mom’s in 105, but the rooms won’t be ready for a while. You might want to try room 104 though. I understand that they have a PS2 in there. Tell the little blonde that Lorne sent you.”

“What’s so special about that room?” Cassie questioned. "Well, besides the PS2."

“The people inside have answers that your mom’s wanted for a very long time,” Lorne answered quietly.

Twenty years have come and went since I walked out of your door

I never quite made it back to the one I was before

And God it hurts me to think of you

Cassie and Janet shared nervous looks over the sign gracing the door to room 104.

“Danger: Peace talks have been known to get violent,” Janet read. “Proceed at your own risk.”

“So are we risking it?” Cassie looked thoughtful.

“We might as well. God knows we don’t have anything else to do until our rooms are ready.”

Immediately after Janet knocked, a petite blonde girl answered. “I’m Buffy Summers. Since the adults are the ones behaving like children, it falls to me to ask what your names are and why you’re here.”

“Lorne sent us,” Cassie told her quietly, motioning the girl out into the hallway. After the other teen had stepped out of the room and closed the door, she smiled. “I’m Cassie Frasier and this is my mother, Doctor Frasier. Lorne said that there were answers to my mother’s questions inside that room.”

“All that’s in there are two brothers who hate each other, a half-sister that’s caught in the middle, and tension major. Trust me, Giles is so stressed because Jack’s here that I’m beginning to hope that I’m going to close my eyes and when I open them again, Lord Jonathon Giles isn’t dead and I’m in my comfy bed at home preparing to sneak out instead of at this funeral. I’m babbling, aren’t I?”

“A little,” Cassie agreed. Her mother had lost the conversation shortly after Buffy had started to talk.

“I didn’t understand anything you said,” Janet volunteered.

“Basically, my mother’s half-brother is in there fighting with his half-brother. Of course, his half-brother just so happens to be my mentor and former sort of friend of my mother’s. So my mom is playing referee between her brother, Jack, and Rupert Giles.”

Janet’s mouth fell open. “Rupert Giles has been dead since I was eight or nine years old.”

“Like hell he has.” The Slayer automatically slipped into a modified fighting stance. “My mentor is not dead although his mother and father are. He has no idea on his sister and he’s beginning to wish his older brother was, Doctor Frasier.”

Janet deflated. “Oh, my Rupert Giles didn’t have a brother. Call me Janet, dear. We are discussing my brother and your mentor after all.”

Before Buffy could say what was on the tip of her tongue, Xander poked his head out the door. “What’s going on, Buffster? You’ve been out here so long that everyone’s worried.”

“I’m fine, Xand.” She pasted on a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Go back inside while I deal with this, k?”

“When will you be back?”

“I need to continue this discussion but I should be done within forty-five or so.”

The moment the young man had closed the door again, a hotel employee bustled over. “Your rooms are ready, ma’am. We’re sorry for any inconvenience this could have caused.”

“Thank you,” Janet told him. Turning back to Buffy, she asked, “Do you want to continue this in our rooms?”

“Sure. Just let me inform them.”

After that was done, the three found themselves settled on a queen-sized bed in Cassie’s hotel room.

“You said that Rupert Giles was your brother. You were seven years old when Andrea died, weren’t you?” Buffy’s nerves had frayed so considerably that she had decided that tact didn’t need to figure into her words.

“Did he tell you that?” Janet’s voice shook as she asked the question.

“Answer the question first.”

“Yes. Yes, I was.”

“Yeah, Giles told me that on the flight here. For some odd reason, none of us could sleep on the plane.”

“Funny,” Cassie broke the silence. “Neither could we. And we also discussed the Giles family to pass the time. Did you know that Lord Jonathon killed his newborn son and his children’s nanny?”

“It doesn’t surprise me.” Buffy took a deep breath. “Why did you think that Giles was dead?”

“Because I got a letter back marked ‘recipient deceased.’” Janet didn’t think the pain she’d felt at seeing those words, especially once she found out what they meant, would ever completely fade.

“There you go,” the eighteen year old nodded. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Lord Jonathon had marked it that way himself.”

“You would have believed that even if we hadn’t told you that he murdered his son. Why is that?” Cassie asked the older teen.

“It doesn’t knock me for a loop because it took death for his sons to come back here. Giles had gone well over twenty years without speaking to his father; I know it was close to that for Jack as well.”

“And I haven’t spoken to him since I was seven years old. That’s been over twenty years.”

“He died a lonely old man,” Cassie observed. “I’m not saying he didn’t deserve it, but it had to have been hell on him. Knowing he was dying and his legacy, his children, hated him.”

“Two of the surviving three didn’t even keep his name,” Buffy continued. “But none of that would have honestly mattered. One of them had kept the family name and had finally ended up in the family business. I think what would have really bothered him is when Giles ‘disgraced’ the family honor not that long ago.”

“How could he disgrace the family honor worse than Daddy Dearest ever managed to?” Janet asked cynicism and sarcasm thick in her voice.

“He failed a test. I passed the test because of that. I lived because he failed. My mother lived because of that. And so he disgraced the Giles name.”

A grim smile graced Janet’s lips. “Tell me how I can meet my brother again.” Then she paused. “Didn’t you say something about Bert having a brother?”

“Half-brother,” Buffy corrected. “You wouldn’t have known about it since you were too young to understand.”

“Well, what’s this mystery uncle’s name?” Cassie demanded.

“Jack. Jack O’Neill,” the blonde told her with a mischievous grin. “Since he’s my mother’s half-brother even though she’s no relation to Giles, do you know if that makes us cousins?”

For the light in your eyes was gone and sometimes

I don’t know why this old world can’t leave well enough alone

Cassie considered it for a moment. “I know someone named Jack O’Neill. He works with Mom. It would be far too coincidental if he’s suddenly related to us, right?”

“That’s right,” was the chorused answer to her query.

But then Buffy’s eyes narrowed. “Even if he isn’t, I don’t believe in coincidence. Janet, did your adopted mother know that your Jack was going to be working at the same place you were?”

“I mentioned it to her when I first met him. She was nervous about it, I remember that. She asked if I could transfer to another base and I told her that I had no wish to do any such thing. My adopted father told her that perhaps it was for the best. He said that I needed to find out everything. But it was Thanksgiving and I was listening at the door so I know he never meant for me to hear that.” She frowned as she concentrated on elusive remnants of that time. “She accused him of orchestrating it and he laughed. He said that the Council had wanted us to meet even earlier and it was only the luck of the dice that we were meeting so late in the game.”

“Damn it!” Buffy rarely swore but she felt the situation warranted it. “Damn the Council to the worst of the Hell dimensions!”

“What’s the Council?” Janet asked quickly. She’d heard of it on and off since her earliest recollections but she had no idea what the Council was or what it did.

“You’re a product of two prominent Watcher families and you have no idea what the Watcher’s Council does or even what it is?” The question was breathed out in an incredulous voice. “That’s wiggy.”

“Now we know what the Council is,” Cassie noted dryly, “but what does it do?”

“It guides the Slayer.” Buffy stared into the distance. “She’s the one girl in the entire world who has the necessary abilities to fight the things that go bump in the night. When one dies, another is called. Not before or after. She is assigned an active Watcher and that person helps research the demons that she fights and trains her to fight all sorts of nasties. After all, the first things that roamed this earth were demons. Something had to control the leftovers of the demon exodus, the part demons that are left, and the vampires that think of you as happy meals on legs.”

“And you’re telling me that a girl does that?” Janet snorted. “Honey, demons don’t exist.”

“Sure they do.” Buffy’s eyes sparked cold fire. “What the hell do you think Lorne is? He reads auras when people sing or hum. There’s a fancy term for it; I think it’s something like agnostic demon. Not that I’m positive, but the fact remains that he’s a demon. The feeling dances along my skin like nobody’s business. Don’t tell me that demons don’t exist or that vampires don’t roam the streets killing people for their blood. Don’t tell me that I didn’t drown because of a vampire called the Master. Yeah, Xand revived me but the cold hard truth is that I did die. I died not that long after my sixteenth birthday, and I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for a quirk of fate.” She looked straight at both of them then. “Andrea Giles’s brother, Merrick, was my Watcher when I was first called as the Vampire Slayer. After he died, Giles became my Watcher. After the Council fired Giles, Wesley was my Watcher until I quit the Council myself.”

“You expect us to believe that?” Janet asked in disbelief. “Demons can’t exist; that would be like saying magic also exists.”

“It does exist.” Buffy said it so blandly that Cassie was convinced.

“Mom, think about all you’ve seen in your job. Can you honestly tell me that demons are all that strange?”

“Well, when you put it that way…I know Teal’c. Why should I doubt the existence of demons?”

“Teal’c?” the Slayer queried. “If he’s not a demon, what is he?”

Cassie looked at her mother and then back to the petite warrior in front of her. “He’s a type of alien called a Jaffa. That can’t leave this room anymore than we’ll tell about the Council and you being the Slayer. During the early part of the 21st century, a ring was found. Today, the military calls it a Stargate because the ancients called it that due to the fact-”

“It’s a portal to other planets. I know what the Jaffa are, Cassie.” Buffy’s voice sounded strained. “They’re in some of the obscure texts that we researched when we couldn’t find the Codex.”

“I’m not even going to pretend I understand that.” Janet shook her head.

“I guess the Council was right,” Buffy mused. “Teal’c is in the other room which almost guarantees that my Uncle Jack is also your coworker Jack.”

“I guess we better make my entrance back into the Giles family good then.” Janet smirked and Buffy was struck by how much like Ripper she looked.

“Oh yeah,” both girls agreed.

The reasons that I can’t stay don’t have a thing to do with being in love

“That was one long conversation you had, Buffy.” Giles cleaned his glasses as he spoke.

“Yeah, Buffster,” Xander grinned. “I think we’re all wondering who you were making with smoochies with.”

Buffy laughed despite herself. Contrary to what she’d originally told Xander, she’d spent more than four hours across the hall from where the peace talks were being held. In that time the sign had been switched again, she noted with amusement. Now it read ‘It’s a good thing this already a funeral. Peace talks can be deadly.’ “I wasn’t making with the smoochies, Xand. I was talking with some other guests and I guess time just slipped away.”

“You know that most of these people work where I used to, correct?” Giles hissed.

“Chill, would you? Trust me when I say these two most definitely don’t. Now stop worrying about that. I’m hungry. Can we go out to dinner?”

Mary O’Neill could see that the girl was hiding something, every woman in the room could. But she had to admire the young woman’s gumption. She nodded to herself as she finally understood why her long absent daughter had always written that she’d love her granddaughter. The eighteen year old was a spitfire just like the rest of the family and nothing like Joyce’s good for nothing husband.

And I understand that lovin’ a man shouldn’t have to be this rough

You ain’t the only one who feels like this world left you far behind

The next day, the cemetery was busy and bustling as Lord Jonathon Giles was laid to rest. His former colleagues were present, his family showed up, and even his children’s late former nanny’s husband put in an appearance. His minister had set the service up so that he gave only a short sermon before turning it over to the attendees to share a facet of Jonathon Giles.

His younger sister went up first. Elizabeth Giles-Wyndham was the result of good breeding and the very image of propriety. “My brother was quite a character when we were growing up. As the younger child and a daughter to boot, I wasn’t allowed to train to follow in our father’s footsteps. Every night when he was supposed to be studying Latin or obscure languages, Jonathon would sneak into my room and force me to study the languages along with him. He’d make it a game. He wouldn’t leave my room unless I studied with him and the longer we studied without someone catching us, the more candy he’d give me.”

She smiled then at those memories of a big brother who had cared about his only sister. “I wasn’t so close to him when we grew up as both time and distance limited our contact. I can only be grateful that he’s with his beloved Andrea now.” With those words, she gently sprinkled her handful of dirt on the gleaming black casket in the ground.

Andrea’s older sister, Clarita Haynes, went next. “I was in my last year of schooling when Andrea and Jonathon first met. I remember that he was all she talked about. It seemed like an endless stream of conversation for her that she never tired of. She always talked of how he was the perfect gentleman. He was my age, of course, and so I’d met him at more of the Council functions than she had. I knew him as a bully and one of Quetzal Travers’s cronies. She saw him as a saint.” Clarita closed her eyes. “To this day, I’m not certain which is closer to what he truly was inside.”

She flung her dirt at the casket with the fervent wish that there were rocks in the handful of soil.

Quentin Travers was the next to go and he glared at Clarita as they passed each other. As the Head of the Watcher’s Council waxed poetically about his late father’s best friend, the Slayer leaned over to said best friend’s son. “Giles, do you think he could stop before the BS level gets any deeper in here?”

“It’s Quentin, Buffy. Do you honestly expect anything else from him?”

“He has a point, dear.” Joyce pointed out. “And remember that your father’s cousin, Edna, is next and then it’s your turn, Giles.”

“Does that mean that I can’t fall asleep?”

Buffy stifled a snicker at the whine in her Watcher’s voice although Xander wasn’t nearly as nice. He grinned at Giles before laughing and asking, “Does this mean Giles is no longer Mr. Stuffy from the land of Tweed?”

“Oh, do shut up.”

In the row in front of them, Teal’c was looking as confused as he ever got. “I thought that funerals were events that commanded sorrow and respect?”

“You’ve heard about Jonathon, Teal’c.” Jack rolled his eyes. “Do you really think that any of us truly respect him?”

Buffy leaned forward about the time Teal’c started to respond. “Be quiet, would you? It’s Giles’s turn to talk.”

At the makeshift podium next to the grave, Giles smirked wryly. “Most of you share my father’s opinion that I am and always have been a good-for-nothing scoundrel. What you most likely don’t know is that the only reason I ever rebelled in the first place was because of him. I was going through the attic during my sixteenth summer to find a book that had certain-ahem, chants-in it. Instead, I found a photograph album of my father with a woman and later a child that I’d never heard of. I confronted him about it and found out the woman was his first wife and the boy was his son that was three years older than me.”

Jack’s mouth was almost hanging open as Giles continued. “I stopped following in his shoes that day. It would be years before I even contemplated going into the family business and I only did that because Quentin and Quetzal threatened me. Or rather, they threatened Jack and my younger sister, Janet. That was why I accepted a job as the curator of the London Museum.”

Jack leaned back to look at his niece. “I didn’t realize that he actually had a brain. I guess I just figured that he was some sort fighter from that fight we were in.”

Buffy smiled. “That’s nice. Could you shut up so that I can listen to what he’s saying?”

“I don’t regret being forced down a career path now. I’ve met a group of extraordinary young people that I consider to be my children. I’ve had the pleasure of knowing strong women who know about the things that go bump in the night-as my daughter, Buffy, would say- and I’ve come to realize that my father did me a favor. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it weren’t for his betrayal of Mary and Jack O’Neill. Yes, I still can’t stand the bastard, but he did do a couple of things right in his life. He had at least two children survive to adulthood and I know that his eldest son is a man I’m proud to call brother.”

That said, Giles hurled his handful into his father’s grave. For some reason, it made a loud pinging noise. In her seat, Clarita applauded and looked heavenward. Then she mouthed, “Why couldn’t I have the handful with rocks?”

Mary O’Neill strode up to the podium. “I knew Jonathon Giles for two years. We were married for about eighteen months of that. Of course, Jack came along about five months into our marriage.” Several shocked gasps were heard following this declaration. “He never told his parents about our relationship or his son. He left me when our son was barely a year old. From that day forward, our son was only my son. Jack didn’t meet his biological father until he was twenty-two years old. Don’t automatically assume that Lord Jonathon was a good man because you’d be sadly mistaken. A good man doesn’t beat the hell out of the woman he forced into marriage. A good man doesn’t leave that woman because she wants a career. And a good man doesn’t force himself on that woman the first night they met.”

With those words, she kicked dirt into the grave of the man she had once hated. Then she strode back to her seat among a wildfire of stunned whispers.

“I didn’t find out that Michael O’Neill wasn’t my biological father until I turned fifteen years old.” The abrupt start of Jack’s speech threw everyone off balance. “I didn’t find out that I had two half siblings other than the one I was raised with until two days ago. And yet, I met my biological father when I was briefly stationed here when I was twenty-two. He never mentioned either of my other siblings.” Jack paused, wondering if he should say what he wanted to. “He did, however, mention that even though I was only a year old, I disappointed him. I didn’t look enough like his family, my words had that ‘awful’ American accent, and I was, over all, too plebeian for his tastes. The way he put it, it was my own damn fault that he left my mother.”

He threw his dirt onto the casket with several distinct pings and then spit. “I can’t say that I feel all that sorry that he’s dead. After all, he wasn’t that great of a father to me; he wasn’t even that great of a stranger.”

In her seat, Clarita whimpered. Then she muttered, “Everyone but me gets the rocks. I want rocks!”

Every member of the Watcher’s Council in attendance sat up straighter as a petite blonde claimed the podium. It didn’t take a genius to recognize the only Slayer to ever resign from the Council. She grinned sadistically at those that she had seen before. “Now some of you know me; some don’t. For those of you in the minority, I’m Buffy Summers. Giles considers me to be one of his daughters and I consider him to be my father. Therefore, I’m talking as his daughter. Yes, I’ve seen the faces of his past. I know of the evil he committed, but he redeemed himself. The evil that Jonathon Giles caused was the type people can never redeem themselves from. He ignored his children, he killed at least two people—” she paused at the gasps before continuing, “but that is not my story to tell. I suppose that I should get down to the point, shouldn’t I?”

She hurled her handful of dirt as fast as she could. “You’ve heard of the doting brother, the abusive husband, the overgrown bully, the bastard who saw children as nothing more than a commodity to be used as he wished, and now I called him a murderer. Now that all these various facets of his personalities have confused you, I think that I will shock the hell of you. See, I was basically sent out here to introduce people.”

Teal’c raised an eyebrow as a familiar figure skipped out to the podium from one of the mausoleums. She was quite obviously hyper as she joined the older girl and waved. “Hi, I’m Cassie Frasier. Did you know that Jonathon Giles killed his newborn son as his seven year old daughter watched from behind a curtain? I found out as my mom and I were on the flight here. After all—”

“After all,” Janet interrupted smoothly, “I was his daughter. And I just discovered that I have been using my older half-brother as a pincushion.” By this point both Giles and Jack were gaping at each other in disbelief. “What we’re trying to figure out is how my daughter, Cassie, and Buffy, who is Jack’s half-sister on his mother’s side’s daughter, are related.”

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed. “Does that make us cousins, half-cousins, or step half-cousins? And then are we considered cousins because I’m Cassie’s mother’s brother’s surrogate daughter? How exactly does that work?”

“And then there’s the fact that I’m adopted,” Cassie continued. “That brings a whole other side to the whole conundrum.” The two girls exchanged grins while contemplating what their audience would say if they knew that Cassie was an alien.

“We wouldn’t have half of this problem if my father hadn’t sent me away when my mother died.” Janet surveyed the crowd with a dispassionate eye. “My mother’s illegitimate sister raised me in the type of loving home that Jonathon Giles would have been incapable of producing. That doesn’t mean that I was always fine about how I was treated. I felt abandoned for a very long time. I agree with Mrs. O’Neill. There’s no way that Jonathon Giles was a good man.”

Both Frasier females kicked the dirt into the grave. Cassie then grabbed a nearby boulder and looked at Buffy for help. With the other girl helping, the boulder was heaved onto the casket with ease.

Clarita whined as the casket made a creaking sound. The teenage girls snickered at the older woman who was dressed so very conservatively pouting over the fact that she didn’t get to throw rocks onto the casket and into the open grave.

As the three females sat down, the minister closed the funeral. Although he tried to paint the deceased in a good light, the speeches that had been made had irreparably damaged that effort.

I don’t know why you gotta be angry all the time

In light of the revelations, Cassie insisted on the older teens coming home with them. Oz begged off on the excuse that his band had gigs. Willow was convinced to go to Colorado by Sam. The computer hacker and novice witch had found a kindred spirit in the astrophysicist.

Jack and Xander had been exchanging strange jokes ever since Giles and Jack had patched things up. Buffy’s mouth quirked at the thought of that ‘reunion’ of sorts. If it had been two girls, it would have been highly emotional.

As it was, Jack had shrugged and asked if all was forgiven.

Giles had smirked and replied that, “I said I was proud to call you brother, didn’t I?”

The girls watching the scene didn’t understand the male bonding type scene. Oz and Xander had just shrugged. Xander had looked at the girls. "Glad they made up and aren’t mad at each other for their father’s mistakes.”

“Wait,” Cassie had said, holding up a hand. “Where did you get that from?”

"That was what they were just doing," was Xander's reply.

The girls had sighed in unison. “Men.”

Buffy had automatically gone along with the plan to go to Colorado. She probably would have even if her father figure and her uncle hadn’t patched things up. She had decided that Cassie was a girl she was proud to have related to her in some capacity, even if they hadn't figured out just how they were related.

That was why three of the Sunnydale teens were seated at a picnic table in Janet’s backyard. they were listening to Cassie’s babble about how they had to remember that even though General Hammond was in charge of a whole base, they shouldn't feel threatened or be in awe of him. He was a teddy bear under all his gruffness, she explained to them.

Or at least, Buffy thought she was explaining that to them. She had been tuning her relative out since her uncle, Daniel, Sam, and Teal’c had entered the backyard with Janet and General Hammond.

The general nodded to the three unfamiliar teenagers. “So you’re friends with Cassie, are you? Did you meet at school?”

Jack snickered as his nieces exchanged glances. Cassie spoke up first. “Actually, sir, we met at a funeral.”

“Yeah, who knew that one could meet so many relations at a funeral for a guy you never heard of before his death, much less actually met?” Buffy asked with a wicked grin. This caused her friends and uncle to laugh.

General Hammond blinked. "Excuse me?"

“Sit down; this will take a while.” Xander pointed to the wicker chair next to the picnic table.

A/N: Well, I hope you had fun reading. Leave a review on your way out telling me what you think of my first attempt on writing a Stargate/Buffy crossover that wasn’t a complete AU. Hope you liked it, Tassos.
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