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Intergalactic Yenta

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Summary: Mid-Year 2004 Fic-a-Thon for Miko. SG-1 gets sidetracked on their way home. They wind up . . . home?

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > GeneralStaciaFR1316,2590123,9519 Jul 049 Jul 04Yes
Author: Stacia

Title: Intergalactic Yenta

Rating: 13 for minor language

Disclaimer: All things BtVS belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy. All things Stargate belong to Gekko, and other folks. None of it belongs to me. For Goddess’ sake, don’t sue. I’m just a law student who never took Intellectual Property.

Author’s notes: For Stargate, this takes place after the return of Daniel. Teensy spoilers for “Summit/Last Stand,” “There But for the Grace of God/Point of View,” and “Meridian/the Ancients storyline.” For Buffy, this is about five years post-“Chosen.” Very slight spoilerish mentions of Riley and his merry band of military men. Dawn just finished college, and she has joined Faith, Wesley, Willow, and Kennedy in setting up a permanent European headquarters for the new Watcher’s Council.

This fic wound up about three times longer than I had intended, and I still feel like it needs filling in, but, oops, ran out of time. For Miko, I hope you like it.

Author's Request - 2004 Fic-a-thon

Genre: Stargate X-over

Max Rating: Any rating

Characters: Faith, Wesley, Willow, Kennedy, Dawn and All of SG1

Type: F/Wes Ken/Wil, Daniel/Dawn

Want To See: Just a lot of Faith and Dawn

Not Want To See: to much of buffy


“Carter, Daniel, meet us back at the gate, now!” Jack shouted into his radio.

“Yes, sir.” Sam’s voice crackled a little as it transmitted from inside the network of caves that housed the Stargate. “What happened?”

“Well, Major, this supposedly deserted planet seems to have a contingent of seriously pissed-off Jaffa. Tell Daniel to stop looking at the carvings on the walls and to start dialing!”

“Yes, sir!”

Jack allowed himself a small mental sigh of relief as he and Teal’c cleared the trees and reached the entrance to the caves.

“Teal’c, take point. Some of them may have gone around and gotten in front of us. I’ll watch our six.” Teal’c nodded and disappeared into the cave. Jack followed a moment later. All was well until they ran into Sam and Daniel several hundred yards short of the gate.

“We’re cut off from the gate, sir. There were a dozen Jaffa blocking the entrance to that chamber.” Sam shook her head in answer to Jack’s unasked question. “No, sir, there’s no back door. The only way out is the way you came in.”

“That’s not an option.” Jack frowned slightly and turned to look around at the dark tunnels that led away from the gate. “Okay campers, we can’t go forward and we can’t go back, so . . . we hide. Daniel, Teal’c, you go ahead and find us a nook that’s out of the way, but defensible. Carter, you’re with me.”

The hide-and-fight plan worked for nearly an hour. The Jaffa were forced to split up into twos and threes in order to search the rabbit-warren of caves. SG-1 took out over a dozen of the alien warriors as they gradually worked their way back toward the chamber that contained the gate. When they finally got there, they had about five Jaffa not far behind them, and the two that had been guarding the gate were waiting for them. In the ensuing chaos, Daniel picked up a graze from a staff weapon.

The gate activated with a kawoosh that was deafening in the enclosed space. A woman with curly red hair, wearing a black leather bustier with spikes, stepped through the gate. More Jaffa followed behind her. SG-1 wound up with their backs to the shiny black wall that had fascinated Daniel, and surrounded by very unhappy Jaffa. The woman descended the stairs that led to the gate and her warriors automatically made way for her as she moved to stand before the humans.

“Jack, that’s Morrigan.” Daniel said quietly, as he clutched his slightly scorched arm. “She’s . . . not nice, even for a Goa’uld.”

“Silence!” Morrigan intoned.

“Sorry, ma’am, we were just admiring your outfit. Where can I get something like that?”

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Carter felt her lips twitch in response to her CO’s irreverence. Morrigan, however, was not amused. She lifted her chin and her eyes flashed.

“Kneel before your god!”

“You know, I’d love to oblige, but I’ve got this old knee injury that’s been acting up . . .”

Morrigan interrupted Jack with a growl of anger and sent a bolt of energy from her ribbon device at SG-1. The energy picked all four of them up off their feet and flung them at the wall of the cave. Instead of bouncing painfully off of the wall, Jack felt himself pass right through what had looked like solid rock. There was a rather unpleasant tingling sensation, and Jack had enough time to think ‘Aw, crap!’ before everything went black.

Earth, Scotland

Faith jerked awake at the sound of a loud moan emanating from the bedroom above hers. She tugged at the sheets and turned over onto her stomach with a little ‘hmph’ of annoyance.

“Jeez, Red, have some consideration. Some people are trying to sleep.” She muttered.

Faith tried to hook one leg over her bedmate, but, instead of allowing himself to be used as a body pillow, Wesley sat up and gazed at the ceiling.

“I don’t think that was an indication of passion.” He cocked his head and closed his eyes, straining to hear any other sounds.

Faith grabbed his pillow and smacked him with it. “Wes, I never knew you were such a perv! Well, scratch that – I did know, I just figured you’d be too proper to eavesdrop on two girls doin’ the nasty while your girlfriend was next to you in bed.”

Wesley rolled his eyes and was about to respond when Kennedy’s voice filtered down to them.

“Willow? Honey, are you okay? Willow? WILLOW!”

Without hesitation, Faith and Wesley tossed off their blankets and raced up the stairs. Faith kicked in the closed door and surged into the room, ready to kick some demon ass. She stopped short at the scene in front of her. An unresponsive Willow stood at the window, staring into the night. Kennedy hovered around her lover, concern written on her face.

Faith and Kennedy exchanged silent glances that eloquently expressed their frustration about not having a clue as to what was happening. Wes tried to run through his mental catalog of what could be affecting Willow. Possession and malignant magic were his immediate unpleasant guesses. As he tried to think of something more benign, sleepwalking perhaps, Dawn appeared in the open doorway. She had sleep-rumpled hair, and she held a sword in one hand and a stake in the other.

“Um, guys, is everything alright?”

Just then, Willow shivered and swayed on her feet. Kennedy rushed over, scooped her up in her arms, and carried her over to the bed. The witch opened her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Somebody just worked some major mojo.” She murmured.

“We talkin’about the dark arts?” Faith asked.

Willow shook her head and then winced slightly at the motion. “No, not dark, just . . . inexperienced. It felt like a really powerful teleportation spell, but they didn’t have all the juice they needed to pull it off. The spell went looking for alternate sources of power, and it found me.”

“You fed your power into the spell?” Wes guessed, hoping he was wrong.

“Mmm hmm.”

“Do you think that was wise?” he said, trying to keep his disapproval from showing in his voice.

“Probably not, but it really didn’t feel evil. Besides, teleportation spells can have some nasty side effects if something goes wrong. We wouldn’t have been able to ask them what they were doing if different parts of them wound in different places, or if they got turned inside out.”

“Eww.” Dawn said quietly.

“Seriously gross imagery, Red.” Faith added.

“I should be able to track them by the feel of the spell. It was pretty distinctive.”

“Yes, well, do you suppose that we can wait until morning to investigate?” asked Wesley.

“Yes,” Kennedy answered firmly as she placed a protective hand on her lover’s arm. “It can wait ‘til morning.”

The Next Day

The cave was deep, and dark, and dank – all the things a cave should be, but it held a few surprises as well. The most eye-catching oddity was the huge portion of a wall that seemed to have been transformed into an utterly smooth sheet of obsidian. The native rock tried to encroach on this glossy blackness, but it only succeeded in defining the edge of where the two met. It looked like nothing so much as a doorway with a sweeping gothic arch. As Faith circled around the far wall of the cave her attention quickly shifted to the four bodies on the ground that had been shielded from view by some large boulders.

“Hey Red, are these the guys that did the hoodoo last night?”

The witch came closer to investigate. “They were definitely involved, there’s some serious magical residue here.”

Faith knelt down next to the man with gray hair and sunglasses and felt for a pulse on his neck. “They’re alive, so why’re they still out?”

Willow looked thoughtful for a minute. “I think the magic sucked out a bunch of their life force in order to power the spell. It must have taken quite a lot for them to still be unconscious. They should be fine once they wake up, whenever that is.”

“Good, ‘cause I have some questions.” Faith said with a gleam in her eye. “They’re tricked out military-style, and Gramps and Blondie are toting some serious hardware.” She snagged a P-90 off of the ground, hefted it, then shrugged and looped the strap around herself so that the gun hung down her back. The second gun soon followed and Faith claimed the staff held by the large guy with the gold emblem on his forehead. Finally, she collected a sidearm from the cute guy with glasses. She made sure the safety was on and stuck the gun down the front of her pants.

“Okay, kids, Kennedy and I will carry our new friends out to the van. If the rest of you get their packs, then we can be home in time for Ground Force.”

Everyone just stared at her.


Wesley cleared his voice as he gazed at his girlfriend. She wore old olive cargo pants and a black tank top. She was quite the picture with her newly acquired arsenal. “You, um, you look a bit like Rambo’s attractive yet menacing sister.”

Faith grinned, “So, you like this look?”

“Um, well, I just meant . . .” Wesley trailed off as Faith began to stalk towards him.

“Maybe we should leave Ground Force to Red and Kennedy. I know they have a thing for Charlie. I’m sure we could find something else to do.” With that, she turned and headed for the mouth of the cave.

Dawn surveyed the expressions on her friends’ faces and allowed herself a small laugh. “Wow, I don’t think I’ve ever seen synchronized blushing before. Come on, let’s get these people in the van.”

The ride home was uneventful. Faith and Kennedy hauled the still-unconscious strangers into the main library/study. They laid all of them, except glasses-guy, on the largest sofa. Dawn had discovered that he had a minor burn on his arm. Faith put him on a smaller couch and Dawn went to gather first-aid supplies so that she could tend to his arm. Willow estimated that their guests wouldn’t wake up for at least three or four hours. She and Wesley didn’t want to wait that long to start working on the magical archway in the cave. So, Willow created a barrier that divided the room in half. She set it up so that only Faith and Dawn would be able to pass through it. Then the witch and the Watcher gathered up books, and various magical accoutrements and headed back to the cave. Kennedy went along, in case anyone else came through the wall of the cave. Dawn bandaged cute-glasses-guy’s arm, and then crossed to the other side of the barrier. She settled in to do some reading while she watched over their captives. Faith collected their dog tags before going to look through all the stuff in the strangers’ packs, but only after extracting a promise from Dawn that she would yell at the first sign that they were waking up.

3 hours and 47 minutes later

Jack transitioned from magically-induced unconsciousness to a normal dreaming state. He mumbled something about Mary Steenbergen and moved one hand a few inches. That hand wound up in a painful and unnatural position when its touch awakened his 2IC. Jack’s eyes flew open.

“Ow! Carter!”

She released him with a sheepish smile. “Sorry sir.”

“It’s okay.” He said, as he massaged his abused wrist. “At least you didn’t bite me this time.”

Sam was about to respond when the young woman sitting unobtrusively in the corner let loose an incredibly loud yell.


Teal’c sat bolt upright and blinked a couple of times. Daniel grimaced as he inadvertently put weight on his injured arm. Jack and Sam called upon their military training and managed to refrain from putting their hands over their ears.

A few seconds later, Faith came in carrying a large duffle bag. She deposited the bag on a long wooden table. The she hopped up to sit next to the bag and propped her boots on the arm of a nearby leather-bound chair.

Dawn grinned when she saw Faith plant her feet firmly on the furniture. “Giles would have a kitten if could he see you right now.”

Faith returned her grin. “Yeah? Well, it’s a good thing for Giles that he’s in Cleveland. Otherwise, he might be gettin’ his panties in a bunch as we speak.”

Jack stood up and faced them. “I’m Colonel O’Neill, and I’d like to speak to the person in charge.”

“That would be me, and I know who you are. We read your dog tags.” Faith had all four sets of the aforementioned dog tags draped around her neck. She gathered them up and read the names off of them, one by one. “Colonel Jonathon O’Neill, Major Samantha Carter, Dr. Daniel Jackson, and Teal’c.”

Faith glanced over at the last person she had named. “What’s up with the one name thing big guy? You don’t really look like the diva type, but I guess you can never tell. So, you related to Madonna, or maybe Cher?”

Teal’c rose to his feet gracefully and clasped his hands behind his back. He cocked his head a bit to the side as he took a moment to scrutinize the woman conducting the interrogation. He decided to answer her nonsensical question after determining that she was more dangerous than her surface appearance would suggest.

“I am not.”

“Okaaay. Dawn, make a note. The big dude is also a scintillating conversationalist.”

Dawn rolled her eyes good-naturedly and closed her book. She joined Faith at the table and started rummaging through the bag. “So, they’re really regular military, not friends of Riley’s?”

“So far as I could tell. It’s not like they were wearing little buttons that say ‘I hate HST’s’.”

Dawn nodded and said, “That would really make things much easier.”

She pulled out a notebook with loose pieces of paper sticking out of it in various places. She opened the book randomly in the middle and perused the writing. “Hmm, the script is Egyptian, but I’m unfamiliar with some of these symbols. Maybe it’s a hybrid language of some sort.”

Daniel stood up and made a futile grasping motion with his good hand. “Please don’t . . . don’t look at that. It’s . . . classified.”

Jack took a few steps forward when he saw one of their P-90’s sticking out of the bag. He didn’t like the idea that they might read Daniel’s notes, but he was even less enamored with the reality that these two young women were in possession of all of their weapons. Jack was confident that his team could take the two women, but, in the interests of avoiding excessive bloodshed he was willing to try some diplomacy. Daniel would be so proud. He blanched as Faith pulled a zat out of the bag and casually tossed it on the table.

“Ah, you might want to be careful with some of that stuff.”

“Chill out Colonel Cutie. We aren’t really fans of guns around here.”

An amused Daniel caught Teal’c’s eye and mouthed the words ‘Colonel Cutie.’ Teal’c responded with an artfully raised eyebrow.

“Yeah,” Dawn added with a stony expression, “They tend to put holes in people you love and make them dead.”

A considerably less-amused Daniel observed the flash of pain on the young woman’s face. He wondered who she had lost. He glanced at Jack in time to see an almost identical expression of loss. The colonel quickly schooled his features into a polite mask, and chose that moment to try to get closer.

“I know,” He said softly, “So, it might be a good idea if you put them down before someone gets hurt.

Faith noticed the distance that Jack had traveled. “We don’t plan to shoot you, but that doesn’t mean you can misbehave. Back off. You can’t take me by surprise, so don’t try. Play nice, or I’ll be forced to beat the crap out of you.”

“She means it, and even if she didn’t I wouldn’t come any closer if I were you.” Dawn warned. “There’s a barrier that spans the room about two feet in front of you. It’ll zap you if you touch it.”

“Barrier?” Jack turned to look at Sam, “Carter, I don’t see anything.”

“It could be a Goa’uld force shield, sir.” She said quietly.

“It’s magic.” Dawn supplied.

“Magic.” Jack’s deadpan voice drips with disbelief.

“Actually, Jack, belief in magic is not at all uncommon in primitive societies.” Daniel looked around the room quickly, examining his surroundings. “Where ever we are, they appear to have harnessed electricity. It’s unusual that a society at that level of advancement would retain a widespread belief in the supernatural. This continued belief in magic might be an indication that they have had recent or recurring contact with a Goa’uld who wished to keep them fearful of the unexplained.”

Faith turned to Dawn, “Have you heard of this Gould thing they keep talkin’ about? What about Elliot Gould? Could it be him? Is he a demon?”

Dawn shook her head. “I don’t think so. But I’ll bet it has something to do with this funky not-Egyptian language. I remember a demon language that looked a lot like this. I’m going to go grab a book. I’ll be right back.”

Dawn stopped and turned around again. She folded her arms across her chest and quirked one eyebrow. “Just a helpful hint, you’re not winning any points by calling us primitive. Don’t antagonize your captors. Isn’t that like the first thing they teach you guys at camouflage-school?”

As soon as Dawn left the room, Faith’s demeanor changed. Her eyes hardened and the twist of her lips quickly morphed from teasing to pissed off. “Look, I don’t know what kind of shit you’ve been messing with, but I guarantee that it’s best to ‘fess up now. Your little stunt last night could have hurt a friend of mine. She’s too much of the Earth-Goddess touchy-feely type to want to hurt you back, but let me clue you in – I’m not her. Your screwed up spell landed you practically on our back doorstep, and I really don’t appreciate people who bring trouble with them when they teleport in for a visit.” She paused for a second. “And don’t even think about trying to use Dawn to squirm your way out of this. She might cut you a little more slack than I would, but she’s a helluva lot tougher than she looks.”

Jack took a step forward and assumed what he hoped was a reassuring smile. “Look, we didn’t come here to make trouble. Truthfully, we didn’t even mean to come here, where ever here is.”

Faith looked skeptical, but decided to throw them a bone and see how they would react.


“What?” Daniel asked with disbelief.

“You’re in Scotland.” Faith was impressed by their incredulous expressions. Either they were terrific actors, or they really hadn’t meant to wind here. “You know, land of the kilts. The country that gifted the world with Sean Connery.”

Jack’s eyebrow’s climbed toward his hairline. He turned to gauge the reactions of his team. “Carter is that possible? How would . . .”

At that moment, Jack’s elbow came in contact with the barrier. He jumped back with a surprised ‘Hey!,’ and rubbed his arm.

“What the hell was that?”

“Magic.” Faith shrugged. “Can’t say we didn’t warn you. So, you feeling a little more talkative?”


“Fine.” The slayer slid off the table and walked out, leaving all of their weapons in plain sight, but teasingly out of reach.

Jack immediately decided to test the barrier again. He grabbed a book from a shelf and tossed it. It bounced off of thin air and fell to the floor. The spot where it hit the barrier sizzled with tiny blue lightening for a second.

“Well, any ideas?”

Carter spoke up. “If she’s telling us the truth, sir, then we must be dealing with a completely new kind of technology. The idea of interplanetary travel without using the gate or some kind of spacecraft is . . . well, it’s certainly nothing we’ve encountered before, except for the ancients. Daniel, does any of this sound familiar?”

Daniel had picked up the book that Jack had pitched at the barrier, and he was staring at it intently. “Um, no, Sam. I don’t remember, sorry.” He held up the book so that Jack could read the title page. “But these people have some interesting reading material.”

Jack squinted at the hand-written scrawl and read, “The Compleat Encyclopaedia of Demons of Sumerian Extraction, 14th edition, revised by Hingat the Smelly.”

Jack closed his eyes briefly, “That’s really helpful Daniel.” The archeologist sighed and set the book on a nearby table.

Sam noticed the bandage on his arm and glanced back at her CO. “Well, it looks a lot like Earth, sir, and the fact that they dressed Daniel’s wound is encouraging. They wouldn’t have done that if they had no intention of keeping us alive.” She gestured at have Daniel sit next to her on one of the sofas. “I’d better take a look at it.”

As Sam started unwinding the gauze on Daniel’s arm, Teal’c contributed to the conversation. “The shiny black surface of the wall of the cave bore a striking resemblance to the quantum mirror. Perhaps we are in an alternate reality.”

Sam paused for moment, “Now there’s an unpleasant thought.”

“I don’t think that’s it Teal’c, at least I hope not.” Daniel volunteered. “All of our previous experiences with the quantum mirror suggest that we jump into different realities, but not through space. We emerge at the same location once we get to the other side, not on a different planet.”

“Was not that effect a result of the location of the corresponding mirror? Perhaps the companion to the cave wall was on Earth in this reality.” Teal’c responded calmly.

Jack felt anything but calm. He turned to his 2IC. “Carter?”

She looked uncomfortable. “I suppose it’s possible, sir. We never really made any headway in figuring out how the quantum mirror worked.” Sam re-taped the last bit of gauze back in place over Daniel’s burn. “I can tell you that they did an excellent job with tending to this wound. Someone here must have some experience with first aid.”

“Thanks.” Dawn’s voice came from behind them. “I’ve had a lot of practice.”

She leaned against the table and folded her arms across her chest. “I did some digging on you guys, but I didn’t come up with much. If I had a few days, I could probably make a good start on translating that language in the notebook. But, nobody around here really wants to babysit you guys. So, I did a little surfing and found some interesting stuff on you Dr. Jackson. Aliens built the pyramids? That’s . . . interesting, but I can see why you haven’t published in the last few years – no offense. Finally, I called a friend who’s in the military. He does all this super top secret stuff. He’s got all kinds of access, but he’d never heard of anything like your insignia. I gave him your names, and in honor of Dr. Jackson, I asked him if his agency had an alien division. He laughed, but he promised to get back to me.”

Dawn finished and stood watching them for several moments. She sighed and shook her head. “This would be a lot easier on everybody if you’d just, you know, share.” Her gaze landed on Daniel. “How’s the arm?”

Daniel started say something, then stopped and changed his mind. “Actually, it’s starting to hurt quite a bit. I don’t suppose you’ve got any aspirin or something?”

Jack’s tactical heart swelled with pride. ‘Good thinking Daniel! Get them to drop the barrier.’

Dawn stared at the archeologist for a moment, then she smiled slightly, “Sure, no problem.”

She left the room and returned a couple minuets later with a plastic cup filled with water and a small bottle of aspirin. She walked up to the barrier, knelt down on the floor, stuck her hands through, and deposited the water and pills on the floor.

After standing back up she said, “Nice try guys. You may not be able to go through the barrier, but I can. It’s not coming down until we find out what you were doing last night.”

Dawn picked up the book she had been reading when SG-1 first woke up and sat down in the corner. She looked up from the book when the phone rang, but it stopped after two rings, and she went back to her book. Five minutes later Faith sauntered into the room.

“Have they said anything?”

“No, but they did try to trick me into lowering the barrier.” Dawn said in a tone of voice just shy of being condescending.

Faith glanced at the prisoners and made a ‘tsking’ sound.

“Well, I just got a call from Red and Wes. They’re on their way home. Apparently, they made some progress on that doorway thing. Red said that it’s definitely a teleportation device. She also said that it takes a crazy amount of power to make it work. She might be able do it herself, with the right ritual, but she doesn’t think anyone else could make it work alone. It was designed to be a group activity type of thing. She also said that she doesn’t see how they could have used it by accident. They didn’t have enough juice for the whole trip, but they did have enough to get the thing going. ”

“We didn’t do anything,” Jack insisted. The women remained unconvinced. Jack ran one hand through his hair and decided to try an edited version of the truth. He needed to persuade them to lower this damn barrier, preferably before the other people arrived. “Okay, this is what happened. We were being pursued by some hostile -”

“Sub-terrestrials?” Dawn interrupted.

Jack shot a ‘What the hell?’ look at Sam and she returned the look with a small shake of her head.

“Um, no, I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean.” Jack continued, “As I was saying, we were being pursued by some hostiles. That when Daniel was wounded. There was an explosion and some electricity hit this big shiny wall. And, now, it seems that we’ve traveled halfway across the – the planet, and we’re being held by people who claim to be magicians.”

Dawn asked Faith, “Do you think any of that was true?”

“Parts of it.” Faith met Jack’s stare with one of own. “You definitely got one thing wrong. We aren’t magicians, we just happen to have a witch on staff. I’ll be more inclined to think about letting you go if you expand on your story a bit.”

“What do you want to know?” asked Daniel.

“Well, for starters, where’d you come from?”

Jack gestured at his clothing, “We’re from the United States Air Force.”

Faith shook her head impatiently, “No, I mean geographically – where were you when all of this went down?”

“South America.” Jack said smoothly.

“I don’t think so. One of our people has had a good look at that cave, and she said the portal in the wall requires a lot of power, more than you would need to jump across an ocean. Hell, she said that it could probably send you to Neptune and back.”

Sam’s eyes widened.

“I’ve got an idea.” Dawn offered, “What if they’re like an alternative-Initiative? You know, from another dimension. Maybe that’s why they needed all the extra power.”

SG-1 exchanged worried glances.

“Do you guys have shrimp in your world?”

Daniel answered hesitantly. “Um, yeah.”

“Damn.” Dawn looked at Faith, “I don’t think I’ll ever know if Anya was just messing with us when she said that.”

Faith shook her head with a wry smile and then turned to the open doorway.

Wesley walked in and dropped a large, and apparently heavy, satchel. “Hi honey, I’m home.”

As soon as Wesley came close enough, Faith snaked a finger through one of his belt loops and pulled him in for a kiss. “ About time.”

Kennedy dumped another bag next the one Wesley had abandoned while Willow pulled out a large notebook, her laptop, and what appeared to be some sketches from inside the cave.

Willow indicated one of the drawings of the portal, flipped through her notebook, and held up a page covered with strange symbols. “There wasn’t much there, but I think we managed to figure out the purpose of the portal.”

“Really? Way to go Red.”

Willow smiled, “Your sweetie helped.”

“Yeah, well, he’s pretty handy to have around, for lots of situations. So, what does it do?”

“Well, we found some weird Egyptian-looking symbols that so shouldn’t be in a cave in Scotland. We also found some other stuff that was more in line with the ancient languages of Great Britain. I did a few magical probes to try to get a read on what the portal is and what it’s supposed to do, but Wes was the one who came up with the idea that we should –”

“So, what does it do?” Faith interrupted and repeated her earlier question with a trace of impatience. Jack couldn’t help the quick flash of sympathy for her. It seemed like Willow was on par with carter and Daniel when it came to getting wrapped up in explaining unnecessary minutiae.

“It’s an escape hatch, sort of an underground railroad. It was supposed to be used by a coven to whisk somebody to safety if they wound up on Morrigan’s hit list.” Willow explained.

Every member of SG-1 froze, and Daniel and Jack exchanged an uneasy glance.

“Who’s Morrigan, a demon?” Dawn asked.

“No, she was a goddess of battle, strife, and fertility.” Wesley volunteered.

“That’s an interesting mix of talents.” Faith commented.

Just then the phone rang. Wesley picked it up and said that it was Riley, and he wanted to speak with everyone on speakerphone. Wes hit the button and hung up the receiver.

“Hi guys.”

He was answered by a ragged chorus of greetings from all of the assembled Scoobies, except Faith.

“I did some digging for you, and it wound up raising some serious red flags throughout the intelligence community. I just got off the phone with the President a few minutes ago.”

“Did he tell you to say hello to me?” Jack asked.

“As a matter of fact, he did.”

Faith couldn’t remain still. “What? Are you saying these guys are legit?”

There was a pause as Riley recognized her voice. “Yeah, they’re the good guys, and they’re way better funded than my little group. Look, I’m not cleared to know exactly what they do, but the President has decided to tell you guys about it on the condition of complete secrecy. He said that the government owed you one. I’m going to patch you through to their CO, and he’s going to fill you in.”

“Thanks Riley, we really appreciate this.” Willow said. “And tell Sam we said ‘Hi!’”

“I will. She wanted me to thank you for the protection charms you sent us. They really helped when we ran into a couple Fyarl demons.”

After a short silence, another man’s voice came through the telephone. “Hello, I am Major General George Hammond, and I believe that you are holding some of my people prisoner.”

“Yes!” Jack shouted.

“Colonel O’Neill, is that you?”

“Yes, sir. We’re all here.”

“What’s your condition?”

“We’re fine, sir. Except, Daniel wanted to play target practice with some Jaffa. He’s got a minor burn from a staff weapon, but our jailors seem to be proficient in first aid.”

“They would be Colonel, they’ve been through some extraordinary battles, right here on Earth.”

The conversation that followed inspired exclamations of disbelief when SG-1 was informed of the existence of the supernatural menace, especially when they found out about some of the talents and foibles of the people on the other side of the room. The Scoobies were less surprised to find out about aliens, but they were fascinated with the idea of the stargate. After nearly an hour, they reached a tenuous truce. The Scoobies agreed to be debriefed by the military about the magical portal to Morrigan’s planet, but they said the military had to come to them. General Hammond agreed, and he ordered Colonel O’Neill to get to know their new friends while they waited for a team from the SGC to arrive. Jack could easily read between the lines of those orders. The General hoped that the extensive slayer network could be a possible future ally. Finally, the phone call ended.

Willow looked at the prisoners-turned-guests. She waved a hand in their direction.


The barrier crackled with blue energy for a moment and then disappeared. Jack tried not to wince as he imagined the power the small red-headed woman had at her disposal. Sam, on the other hand, made a beeline for Willow and immediately began talking about the possible quantum properties of magic. Kennedy, who could care less about the technobabble, joined the two women out of a subconscious desire not to leave her girlfriend alone with the leggy blonde scientist.

“It must have been the energy from Morrigan’s ribbon device that triggered the portal.” Sam postulated.

Willow shook her head, “A simple burst of energy wouldn’t have been enough to make the portal active. It needs a mystical jumpstart. I don’t know what could have caused it. Maybe if you could tell me more about what powers this – what did you call it? A ribbon device?”

“Come on guys,” Faith interjected, “we can swap stories all night, but I’m starving. We can order some pizzas, but we’ve got stuff for sandwiches until they get here.”

“Now you’re talking!” Jack agreed.

Everyone started heading toward the kitchen. Sam and Willow happily chattered on about the possible meshing of the mystical and the technological. Faith sidled up to Teal’c and asked him if he was interested in sparring with her. Jack and Wesley watched in amusement as the slayer and former first prime began to talk tactics.

Daniel hung back for a moment, walked up to Dawn, and met her eyes with a shy smile. “If I promise to let you look at it, can I have my notebook back?”

Dawn looked startled for a minute, then rummaged through the pile of books she had by her chair. “You’ve got a deal, but you better help me figure out those translations. If you want, I could teach you some of the demon languages that I know.”

“Well, how can I turn down an offer like that?”

Daniel and Dawn gazed at each other for a moment, lost in a bizarre linguistic kinship, and with more than a dash of simmering attraction thrown in for good measure. Dawn realized that she was still holding on to Daniel’s notebook at the same time that he reached out to take it from her. Their hands touched and the notebook fell to the floor as they both gasped aloud.

Daniel stared at the woman in front of him as he tried to form words to describe the image that had just flashed through his mind. “Um, were you green and glowy in a past life?”

Dawn blinked, and then one corner of her mouth curled up in the beginnings of a grin. “Yeah, I was. And you were white and glowy with these waving tentacle type things?”

“Mmm hmm.”


“Actually, I like it better like this. You know, human, and here on Earth.”

“Me too.” Dawn bent down and retrieved the notebook. She handed it to Daniel, this time without incident.

“We’d better join the others.” She suggested.


They started walking down the corridor, quickly becoming immersed in the intricacies of Goa’uld syntax.

Overhead, Oma Desala smiled.


1. I tried to make the Daniel/Dawn pairing happen, but with the direction the story went, it became sort of sparse. Consider it a suggestion of things to come.

2. Ground Force is a British garden make-over show. If you live in the States and you have BBCAmerica, you should check it out sometime. Charlie is the often bra-less female gardener with long strawberry-blonde hair.

3. Miko, I really hope you liked it. I’m sorry I cut it so close to the deadline. Aside from a drabble, this was my first attempt at a Stargate fic. It was also my first time writing Faith and Dawn, so, there was much nervousness and deleting of sentences. I hope it turned out okay.

The End

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