A/N : We’re using Character’s from BtvS, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (the movie), Smallville, X-Men (the movie), Indiana Jones, PotC, Spiderman (the movie)
Disclaimer: We don’t actually own any of these characters; we’re just playing with them! We’re honestly not making any money from this…as you can probably tell.
A single pair of footsteps broke the silence in one of San Francisco’s many cemeteries. Black boots stepped clumsily through the dry leaves that clogged the path. Faith – one of the two original vampire Slayers – was bored. Patrolling just wasn’t as fun as it used to be, but with all the new little slayers busy training with Andrew, lucky them, and a few of the other watchers, she was left to do the job. Not that she really minded being alone; too many teenage slayers tending to get more than a little annoying.
Still, slaying with B was always more fun than doing it alone. There was something special about having someone to actually talk to, and synchronized slayage was always cool. But, Buffy and Dawn were off in Europe with some other slayers, and here she was, in San Francisco; the new hellmouth. Never a day off, though tonight’s patrol was definitely slow. Not one vampire yet, and she’d already been out a couple of hours. The stake in her right hand was getting restless.
In fact, when she thought about it, the last few patrols had been pretty uneventful. Man, where had all the vamps gone? This place used to be teeming with them. Come to think of it, the last demon she’d fought had been that Polgara. Now, he was ugly. Big, brown, slimy, and weird skewer things that came out of his arms. One of those things had given her a mean slash across her stomach. Eight stitches, ouch. Well, anyway, if the last few nights were anything to go by, looked like tonight was gonna be a quiet night.
She reluctantly turned her body to walk back. San Francisco was such a drag. The hotel where she was staying was the pits, and there was always the chance that she would run into R2D2 (Andrew) and his band of merry slayers. She trudged slowly back over the graves, weaving her way in and out of tombstones. Then, out of the blue, her senses tingled, and her brain started to buzz.
Vampire? Her fists automatically rose, and a ruby smile rose to her face; this could be just the thing to help her work off some frustration, if her sense were anything to go by. Whatever it was that was approaching, it was powerful in a huge way – that nifty vampire-sensors that she seemed to have were going off like alarm bells. Sure, it wasn’t the kind of feeling she got when there was a vamp in the area, so maybe a demon. Either, way, this was going to be a kick-ass fight.
Her mahogany hair swung loose through the air as she turned around to locate the presence. It wasn’t exactly hard to find; a group of around six, maybe seven men in a practically deserted graveyard aren’t exactly hard to locate. Especially people who were giving off as odd vibes as these guys were. With the exception of Andrew – who was leading the group towards her with an anxious look on his face – she could tell that they weren’t exactly what you’d call human. Of course, they looked identical to normal men, but so did vampires. And, some of their dress sense was extremely odd.
Andrew? Shouldn’t he be watching some mini-slayers? And who the hell were these guys? Must be some of Andrews geeky friends, on their way to some dork-convention or another. Though thinking about it, some of them didn’t look all that strange, just the ones dressed in lame costumes. Why would anyone wear a pirate hat out in public? Another guy was carrying what looked like a whip and was wearing a cowboy hat, and one of them had dress sense that could only belong to a gay man.
Andrew moved towards her. “Hey Faith,” said his uncertain voice. “Um…these are some of my friends. They wanted to um… meet you.” Andrew was such a wimp. If he wanted to fight her, he could at least do it himself, instead of hiring some bunch of dodgily-dressed hit men. Well, Faith supposed, her against Andrew was too easy. This would make it a little more interesting.
She didn’t speak, merely sized up her opponents. Seven of them, most of which were radiating some kind of unearthly power, so she’d have to be careful. Of course, it hurt slightly that it was Andrew heading up this little band, but it wasn’t exactly the first time that the Watcher’s Council had taken a dislike to her. She’d figured that it might be different now that Giles was in charge but…obviously not. So, she would fight.
If she’d been B, now would be around the right time to make a cute little quip and then wait for the bad guy to make the first move; she wasn’t Buffy. Her foot moved out to knock the nearest guy in the stomach, followed by a smooth punch to his face. Her hand gained a few small cuts when his glasses broke beneath her fist. Judging from the way the group glanced at each other for a moment before spanning out around her, this was going to be challenging. The first person to move forwards and challenge her – a teenager only a few years younger than herself – barely even reacted when she put all her strength behind a hit to the face. In fact, if anything, her hand hurt more than his face.
Faith stepped back. God, her fist hurt! She shook off her hand, then lunged in with a powerful kick, which was somehow avoided by her opponent. He was moving so fast her eyes couldn’t keep up with him, she just watched the blurred image zigzag away from her. She ran forward and threw a fist at him, trying to catch him off guard, but just missing. What the hell was this guy? Superman or something? She was preparing to kick him again, when she felt a sharp pain in her side.
Faith turned her glaring eyes to her side. You gotta be kidding? The slightly older man with the stupid cowboy hat, stood poised, ready for battle, brandishing a whip. No way! She saw the man aim the whip for her belly, but didn’t react in time. A razor-like burning cut through her, and she looked down to her stomach. The slash from the whip had split the scab from the Polgara, and blood was trickling down her skin. “Damn it!” She glanced up again, just in time to see the whip coming towards her, and this time she was prepared. Her hand snapped out and grabbed the whip in mid-air, and with a swift heave, she snatched the whip from his hand. Faith paused, smiled sweetly at the cowboy, and then sent him flying backwards with a fierce kick.
She glanced backwards as the teenager ran – well, blurred – towards his friend, “Indiana!” He called out as he knelt next to him. Faith figured that the super-speeding teen would be busy for a while – she hadn’t picked up on any supernatural vibe from the cowboy – so glanced around for her next opponent, hands still raised defensively. Her chest was heaving and her breath was laboured after fighting only a couple of these guys, but she knew there were more. There were always more of these hard-to-kill baddies. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see the first guy she’d hit starting to get himself together, but figured she should try to take some of the others out before she started on him again.
Her dark eyes settled on the pirate, who had happily plonked himself down on one of the tombstones and pulled out a dirty bottle from somewhere in his stupid costume. Honestly, where did Andrew get these guys? Still, she could see an old sword hanging by his waist, so presumably he knew how to fight. Great she thought as she made her way towards him, stake still in her hand, more trainer fighters, just what I need. However, as she moved towards the guy he merely raised his bottle of drink at her, bowed his head and then fell off the headstone, apparently unconscious. The slayer rolled her eyes and turned back to the rest of the group, one eyebrow raised.
It was all Faith could do to keep herself from bursting out with laughter as she looked at the next contender. This guy was unreal! Not to mention the poofy hair and the frilly shirt, this guy looked like he was from the last century. He swept a sword up from his side and with a grand gesture pointed it toward her. Shit! She didn’t have a weapon. In a moment of quick thinking, Faith dropped to her knees and rolled over to the side, towards the unconscious pirate. She snatched his sword from his belt as she stood up in a fluid movement. Faith clutched the heavy weapon in her hand, stakes were so much lighter. She thrust forward, trying several moves to throw the sword from his hand, none of which worked. Man, this guy was one experienced fighter!
However, he may have been experienced, but he was cocky, and Faith soon managed to find an opening to strike. With a burst of strength, she shoved the sword through his chest. Faith watched the man’s face change from arrogant to shocked in a matter of seconds. She withdrew the sword from his chest, but instead of falling to his knees, he smiled wickedly. This was all the motivation Faith needed to kick him aside, and as she did so, she watched Andrew, standing behind a gravestone with a distressed expression displayed on his face.
“Guys… guys, please stop fighting!” his weak, pathetic voice cried. “Like, this is not what’s supposed to happen! Guys!” He folded his arms, and then a tad huffily, protested, “This would not happen in The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Yeah, that’s right, they would probably be fighting some big evil right now, instead of fighting each other!” Faith shook her head in disbelief. What a nerd!
She was sorely tempted to just move over there and punch his face so hard that every single comic book and science fiction film was knocked out of it, but the second she took a step forwards, somebody tackled her from the side. A grunt escaped from Faith’s chest, and she could feel the blood from her old wound leaking through her red vest. She was probably going to need some more stitches in it, if she ever lived through this fight.
When the stars stopped circling her head, and her eyes slowly came back into focus, she could see a guy standing in front of her. Her head hurt like hell – she’d probably bashed it against the tree she was cornered against – and there was the coppery taste of her own blood in her mouth. The guy in front of her had her backed up against a knotted tree, and she was guessing he was the one who had tackled her. Automatically, she moved to attack him. She swore silently when she realised that the sword had been lost some where along the line, and instead balled her fist into a fist and aimed it for his face.
Though it hit him, he just cracked his neck slightly and all the redness that should have eventually turned into a bruise faded away. Faith’s blurry eyes watched as his own fist curled and was brought up to face level, however they widened when three long blades broke out of the skin, so that two were on either side of her neck and third settled against her throat. She swallowed uncomfortably, but she knew better than to struggle; one false move and she was skewered on that blade. “What the hell are you people?” The slayer asked as the others she’d been fighting moved to flank the man who had her pinned.
“Ooh! We’re, like, this major evil-fighting club and we fight evil and we’re like the Justice League, where we’re all crime-fighting super heroes and fight evil and we protect innocent people and we fight evil and…would you like to join us?”