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Summary: Response to challenge 389. There's a lot in this world that Illyria's never done. One drabble answers challenge 383 also.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Fred/Illyria-CenteredCameronFR711,023041,64421 Jul 0421 Jul 04Yes
A/N: Answer to challenge #389, with a bit of #383. All drabbles are exactly 100 words. I do NOT own any of the characters, shows, anything.


1. Friends:

Illyria let Joey lead her through the doors of the coffee shop. She had never been inside one of these quaint places before, but was willing to try. Wesley had told her to gain their trust to reach the slayer in the group, and to try to "lighten up", whatever that meant.

She immediately noticed the singing blonde.

"Well I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound old mean and bitter. When vampires go poof the dust sparkles like glitter." Phoebe crooned into the mike.

As her friends exchanged confused looks, Illyria whispered in Phoebe’s ear. "We need to talk, slayer."

2. Southern Vampire:

"You want me to do what?"

Bill wished Sookie were here with him. It would definitely make it easier to have a mind-reader with him in order to deal with the woman. But that was the problem… Sookie wasn’t here.

"I wish you would help out Sookie and myself by taking her shift at Merlotte’s tonight."

"I have never served a human before." She stopped to think. "But I will tonight… in return for a future favor."

He had to get to Fangtasia to retrieve Sookie, so he was willing to promise anything. He’d wish later he that he hadn’t.


3. Merry Gentry:

She smiled at the Sidhe offering her his arm, and allowed him to escort her before his queen, but she would not bow when he did. He nudged her, but she refused to go on her knees before Andais.

"You reek of darkness, my dear." Andais addressed the blue haired woman. "May I ask why you are so captivated with my Raven?"

She struggled to find the words to describe her love for Barinthus, but had to settle with "I’ve never seen hair that color before."

She assumed it was a good sign that Andais could do nothing but laugh.


4. Star Trek:

"Resistance is futile." The Borg queen stared at the woman in front of her.

"I’ve never backed down from a fight, and I shall not now. Resistance is not futile." Illyria responded. "I’ve fought worse and won. I shall win again."

The Borg queen wasn’t expecting this response. She tried grabbing the woman, but was too slow. She meant to inject her with nanoprobes, but the blue haired warrior was faster. She barely had time to register the fist headed on a direct intercept course with her face.

"I tried telling her resistance was not futile. She would not listen."


5. Daria

Jane plopped down on the couch next to Daria. Trent and the rest of Mystik Spiral walked into the room, along with a woman with blue hair. The woman sat with Trent on the other couch, while the guys went to get beers.

"What’s on, Janie?"

"What else? Sick, Sad World."

"Yes, all the world is sick and sad. No one worships me as they must, and it is crawling with vermin."

"Babe, it’s a TV show."

"I’ve never seen a… what did you say… TV show?"

Jane and Daria looked at each other. Where did he find this groupie?


6. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy:

She straightened her back as they turned the camera on her.

"Just talk naturally, hon. What do you expect to see from this makeover? Why did you sign your man up?"

"He insists on having stubble. He must shave. He wants me to look like someone else, so he must change too. I’ve never seen a messier apartment. A cleaner apartment would also be nice. He needs no help with his weapons, however."

They looked at each other. Weapons? The guys were confused until Carson smirked. "I guess she means we’re going to have fun fitting him for jeans, then."

7. Anita Blake:

"Whatcha been up to?" He purred into the phone.

She toyed with the phone cord. "Just bought a new bed, been working a lot."

Jason laughed. "Even I won’t touch that comment with a ten foot pole."

It took a minute for the innuendo to hit her, but when she did, she blushed bright red. "Jason! I didn’t mean it THAT way! I’d never!"

"Relax, cuz. I know you didn’t. My cousin, the innocent. Hard to believe we’re related. Oh, sorry, hon, I’ve gotta run. " Jason hung up.

Fred’s image melted into Illyria’s as she hung up the phone.

8. Trading Spaces:

Illyria stared at the woman in front of her. "Pardon?"

"We’re painting that wall puce, then hot-gluing feathers on it. Why are you people fighting me on this?!?!" She stomped out of Angel’s office.

Illyria turned to Wesley. "You didn’t say anything about painting and feathers. I’ve never done domestic work like this."

"Yes, but you agreed that Angel’s office was ‘distasteful to your eyes’ – that’s why we signed up for this in the first place. That’s why I’m letting them make-over my office."

"I still don’t understand the significance of feathers, but I shall adapt."

Wesley groaned in response.

9. Frasier:

"You’re on the air with Dr. Frasier Crane. How can I help you?"

"My… friends… thought I should talk with a professional. I’m assuming that’s you. They think I have a split personality."

"Your name?"

"You wouldn’t be capable of using your puny human vocal cords to pronounce my proper title, but you may refer to me as Illyria."

Frasier was beyond surprised when her voice morphed into a soft Southern drawl. "I have to say, I’ve never called a radio doc before. I can go by Fred if it makes you more comfortable?"

Frasier smiled. She definitely had issues.

10. Harry Potter

Illyria took another sip from her firewhiskey, as she glared at the man sitting across from her. "I do not know why I let you talk me into playing this infantile game."

"Lighten up, milady. It’s just fun. Your turn."

"I’ve never…" she paused to think, "I’ve never purposely tried to get any one drunk."

She waited for him to take a drink, but he didn’t.

Draco smirked at her. "I know you can’t get drunk like a normal human. I’m not trying to get you drunk."

She hated dealing with his logic, and told him so. He just laughed.

The End

You have reached the end of "Never Say Never". This story is complete.

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