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10 Things That Never Happened to Tara

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Summary: Response to challenge by Kamikazee

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Tara-CenteredStaciaFR1511,018041,56531 Jul 0431 Jul 04Yes
Author: Stacia

Title: 10 Things That Never Happened to Tara

Rating: 15 - Some of these drabbles are light and fluffy, but some are rather dark.

Disclaimer: All of the characters and shows mentioned below belong to their respective owners.

*Response to Challenge by Kamikazee*

1. Highlander

Tara lifted a large stack of papers out of a musty box and promptly sneezed as dust flew everywhere.

“What do they expect me to do, actually find Methos?”

The first document was supposedly a sample of the ancient Immortal’s handwriting, gleaned from his Italian villa in the 1800s.

Tara rolled her eyes. Every new Watcher thought their assignment was secretly Methos. She glanced at her supervisor’s instructions, hoping for some guidance with the mess before her. She did a double-take, then carefully laid the 200-year-old note next to Senior Watcher Adam Pierson’s instructions.

“Son of a . . .”

2. The Matrix


“I need an exit . . . now.”

“Okay, hang a right, phone booth, two blocks down.”

Tara ran easily in her high-heeled boots and leather pants. With a muttered Latin phrase and throwing motion, the Agent went flying. It was amazing how both her witchcraft and her wardrobe had improved since she had taken the red pill – at least while she was inside. Her hand reached for the phone.

She awoke with a gasp and immediately felt a hand stroke her cheek.

“You cut that one pretty close, Glinda. Don’t you know you’re not allowed to leave me?”

3. The West Wing


Josiah Bartlet smiled at his youngest daughter. “Tara, this is a pleasant surprise! What’s up?”

“I, . . . I wanted to ask you about my new significant other.”

His eyebrows rose. “While I’m pleased that you want my opinion, I didn’t think that I got a veto over your romantic entanglements anymore.”

Tara bit her lip, “There could be political repercussions.”

“You want to date a Republican?” He said incredulously.

Tara shook her head.

“I want to date a girl.”

Without hesitation, the President gathered his child in his arms. “Politics be damned. Do what makes you happy.”

4. Harry Potter

His scaly hand touched her bare thigh in a parody of a caress. A low hum of anticipation, more sensed than heard, ran through the group of watching Death Eaters. Tara tensed in her invisible bonds.

With a sweep of his robes, he made way for three teenaged boys. One of them, the one with white-blond hair and cold eyes, lifted a cloth off of a table, revealing over a dozen sinister instruments of torture.

Finally, she understood. She was their test, their initiation. The first one approached, a knife shining in the dim light.

She screamed.

5. Stargate SG-1

Dr. Tara Maclay headed back to camp with her soil samples, happily anticipating having lunch with Teal’c. She never saw the Jaffa who zatted her.

3 Days later

“Unauthorized off-world activation. Sir, it’s Dr. Maclay’s IDC.”

“Open the iris.” Ordered General O’Neill.

Tara stepped through the gate. Teal’c walked into the gateroom to greet his friend and stopped short.

“She is Goa’uld!”

Her eyes flashed in anger and she pulled a gun from behind her back. As she pointed it at Teal’c, the gateroom guards opened fire.

Relief turned to bitter disappointment, and General O’Neill went to call Maclay’s wife.

6. Stephanie Plum

Stephanie looked in the folder. Blond, 22, and failed to appear to answer a charge of witchcraft.

The door opened when Stephanie’s fist still hung in the air.

“Tara Maclay?”

“Come in. Coffee?”

“Um, sure. You know why I’m here?”

“You’re here because Mrs. Wachowski found an archaic law and she has an uncle who is a judge. She thinks that I have Congress with the Beast. I tried to tell her that I don’t believe in the Christian devil, much less have sex with him. Besides, I’m a lesbian.”

“Really? Could you give my sister Valarie a few pointers?”

7. CSI – Crime Scene Investigation

“We’re going to have to stop meeting this way, Mr. Grissom. People might begin to talk.”

“They might.”

Lady Heather knocked on a door. It opened to reveal a woman wearing a leather catsuit, with darkly-lined eyes and slicked-back blond hair.

“This is Mr. Grissom, he’s with the police, and he has a few questions.”

Gil met the young woman’s eyes and felt his stomach clench. They possessed a depth that ensnared him. The only other person to ever see him so clearly was Lady Heather. After a short interview, Gil was ready to leave.

“Goodnight, Mistress Heather.”

“Goodnight, Tara.”

8. Anita Blake

Edward felt a terrific blow knock him off his feet and send him flying through the air. He lost his gun in mid-flight, and was reaching for another even before he skidded to a stop in the snow. His reaching hands remained empty as he was lifted, and held motionless two feet off the ground.

The blond woman picked up his lost gun and looked at it distastefully.

“You made two mistakes.” She said quietly. “One, you accepted a contract on the wrong witch. Two, you tried to come at me through my family.”

She raised the gun.

Death died.

9. Honor Harrington

Tara ran toward the waiting aircar. Hippocrates, her six-limbed soulmate, followed. Hippo passed her, and was waiting by the time she got to the cockpit. The treecat teasingly chittered at her.

“Very funny. I can’t run very fast on ice. Unlike certain people, I don’t have claws, or an extra set of feet.”


Tara grinned as she programmed the aircar with a flight plan to Andrew MacCarter’s house. He was a fellow Sphinx Forestry Ranger, and the adopted person of Hippo’s sister. Hippo was about to become an uncle.

“Don’t worry, we have lots of celery for the occasion.”

10. Firefly

Wash proudly explained every instrument on the bridge. “These three switches are crucial . . .”

“What do we have here?” Mal asked, as he stepped through the door.

“Captain, this is my baby sister, Tara.”

“It’s nice to meet you ma’am, but I’m afraid you’ll have to cut your visit short. Wash, time to go.”

“Actually, Mal, I was kinda hoping she could join the crew.”

“Wash, we’re already carrying an extra preacher and crazy girl. There is no skill that she’s got that we could possibly need.”

Tara created a fireball that floated over her hand.

“You’re hired.”

The End

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