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Laissez les Bon Temps Roulee!

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Summary: Answer to Tranplanting Scoobies Challenge: 10 of the more obscure Buffy cast (I added epsiode IDs for those who can't remember who Chris Epps, et al. are) find their way to Charlaine Harris' Southern Vampire 'verse.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Literature > Southern Vampire MysteriesdulcineaFR1311,067081,7222 Aug 042 Aug 04Yes
Title: Laissez les Bon Temps Roulee!

Author: Dulcinea

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Various characters from Buffy belong to Joss Whedon. The town and people of Bon Temps, Louisiana belong to Charlaine Harris. I make no money from this drabble.

A/N: The goal of the challenge was to take 10 BtVS character and try a 100 word drabble, sticking to the same crossover for all 10 characters. There were bonus points for obscure characters, so my beta and I tried to go for the strangest we could. Hope they amuse you.

1) Harmony Kendall - Cordette extraordinaire

“Okay I’m ready to go! We are going to a cool club, right?” Harmony bounced out of the bedroom in heels and a tube dress.

Her cousin looked at her like she was crazy. “Darlin’, where the heck did you get that idea?”

“You told me to get ready.” Harmony pouted. It was bad enough having to stay in a doublewide. If she had to go to a lame club, she’d just die!

“It’s a Friday night. We’re going to the football game.”

“But football’s boring!”

The room gasped in shock. From the corner, someone muttered, “Damn Yankee.”



2) Devon - lead singer for Dingoes Ate My Baby

“Dude, Fangtasia, that’s a cool name. It’s like Fantasia, but not.” Devon chilled in the back office of the Shreveport bar.

“Yes, that was the point.” Eric stared coldly.

“Is it ‘cause you have fangs and stuff?” Devon tilted his head, as if looking for the fangs.

“Yes.” Eric frowned.

“Dude, that’s cool. So like, do you guys drink blood here?”

“That was the general idea.” Eric sighed. The negotiations had been going on for over half an hour, and the band still couldn’t give him a price.

“Dude…”

“I’ve decided to get a dj. Thanks for your time. Leave now.”



3) Owen - Buffy's fling from Never Kill a Boy of the First Date

“The bullfrogs croaked a mournful dirge,

Standing on a mat of corpses.

Centuries of primitive life

Buried under the primordial muck.

Life begging for life in a stew of death,

Each frog alone, seeking company in a crowd.”

“Owen Bellefleur, what do you think you’re doing!”

“I’m writing. Unlike some people, I actually can appreciate the true drama of life and death.” Owen yelled back at his cousin Andy.

“You’re appreciating a swap and letting the skeeters in. Now get your Californian hide back in here!”

“Some people have no depth.” Owen mused; at least Buffy would like his poetry.



4) Chris Epps - Willow's science rival from Some Assembly Required

“Sir, I have something even better than the current synthetic mixes on the market. My company, Heme2O includes flavors normal synthetics leave out, and our price is competitive.”

Sam Merlotte appraised the young man. “How long have you been in the sales business, son?”

“I’m not really a salesman, I’m more the inventor.” Chris blushed.

“How has this done in the market?”

“Well, actually I was hoping you’d volunteer to be a test market. I’ve heard you’ve had a few patrons of the synthetics.”

Sam tasted the sample. This really did taste like the real stuff. “I’ll take a case.”



5) Ethan - Our favorite Chaos worshipper

Ethan sat in the back of his booth contemplating the crowd at the bar. Sure, it was petty, but it had been so long since he had instigated a good brawl. Just add a suggestion here, a hex there, and instant brawl. That was the beauty of the South, it was just so predictable.

His waitress, a cute little blonde number, set down his scotch, and giggled as she scribbled something on a cocktail napkin.

Ethan picked it up and read the message, expecting a phone number. “Don’t you even think about it! I’m watching.” He gaped. She winked back.



6) Whistler - Balance demon and snappy dresser

“I just don’t know if I can take it anymore.”

“Aw sweetie, he’s not so bad. Just give it another month.”

“You promise Bill will get better?”

“The fates have plans for him.” Whistler tried for a beatific smile.

“Well, alright. I’m glad you stopped by.” Sookie wiped the tears away.

“I think you’re the first person to ever say that to me.” Whistler felt for the Southern Belle; she’d have no clue what would hit her. “Well, I’ve got to go. I’ve got a star-crossed couple in California to deal with.”

“Take care.” Sookie waved as the demon disappeared.



7) Darla - Angel's sire

“Oh baby, I love your … voice.” Jason undid his seatbelt and crawled across the seat.

“Just a little closer.” Darla thought. “You’re so strong.” Darla batted her eyelashes at the amateur Casanova.

As he leaned in for the kiss/kill, there was a loud bang. The truck door swung open, and Darla’s dinner was dragged out by his ear.

“Jason Stackhouse! You will not disgrace the Stackhouse name with another tramp. Get inside!”

“Yes Sookie.” Jason turned tail and ran.

Sookie stormed back to the truck, grabbed the keys, and threw a quarter at the vampire. “Call a cab, you ho!”



8) Kendra - The Caribbean Slayer

“How was your flight?” Mr. Giles asked. Kendra blushed; nobody had called her before.

“It was nice.” She frowned. “But no different from my flight over.”

“Surely you did not ride in the baggage hold again.” Giles sighed. Would he have to talk to Mr. Zabuto about this?

“Everyone rode in the baggage. It was very dark.”

“Dear lord, what airline was that?”

“Anubis Air. They were cheapest, but I do not think I will use them again. My slayer senses were agitated.”

“Yes, I imagine so.” Giles couldn’t help but wonder if the vampire airline included insurance against slayers.



9) The Gorch Brothers - Cowboy vamps from Bad Eggs (and prom)

“You know what I miss?” Bill tossed another rock into the pond.

“Front loading rifles?” Tector asked, spitting to the side.

“No, not really.”

“The smell of mule crap in the morning?” Lyle pondered.

“Nope.”

“Walking to the outhouse at midnight?” Tector jerked his fishing line.

“No.” Bill wondered why he even bothered with vampires his own age.

“I know. Those frilly corsets the whores used to wear.” Lyle leered at the memory.

“Are you kidding?” Bill thought Sookie’s tank top was much easier to get off in a hurry.

“What do you miss?” Tector finally asked.

“Nothing.”



10) Sweet - demon from Once More with Feeling

“Love me tender…” Bubba sang.

Sweet sighed. This was the last time he answered that charm. He almost walked away with the redheaded waitress, but her ex-husband interfered. Since then, he’d heard seven country songs belted out by drunks. No matter how much magic he used, the dancers two-stepped. And to add insult to injury, a damn impersonator was doing all the solos. If he wanted to be the king so badly, maybe they should just switch and see how much he liked being upstaged.

“That’s it! You aren’t worth it!” Sweet disappeared.

“Thank you, thank you very much.”

The End

You have reached the end of "Laissez les Bon Temps Roulee!". This story is complete.

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