LAST TIME, ON BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER:
///JONATHAN: No, I'm serious. I really miss it. Time goes by, and everything drops away. All the cruelty, all the pain, all that humiliation. It all washes away. I miss my friends. I miss my enemies. I miss the people I talked to every day. I miss the people who never knew I existed. I miss 'em all. I want to talk to them, you know. I want to find out how they're doing. I want to know what's going on in their lives.
ANDREW: You know what? They don't wanna talk to you–all those people you just mentioned. Not one of them is sitting around going, "I wonder what Jonathan's up to right now." Not one of them cares about you.
JONATHAN: Well, I still care about them. That's why I'm here.
(Andrew stabs Jonathan in the gut with a knife, causing him to fall and spill blood on the symbol they've been unearthing)///
Title: He Who Laughs Last
Author: Leevee of Team Socket
Rating: PG — PG13
Archive: If you want it, take it. I'm quite flattered. Just drop me a line and tell me where it's going.
Disclaimer: Don't own it, duh.
Spoilers: Seasons 1 through Potential for Buffy. (a bit of an AU for the ep Gingerbread), Seasons 1 through Spin the Bottle for Ats, books 1-4 in HP
Summary: When Jonathan shows up at Hogwarts to inform his stepfather of the First, some prefects get an all expenses paid trip to the Hellmouth! Lucky them…
Feedback: It's wonderful. I thrive on it. I die without it.
It was your normal, average day at Hogwarts. The Hufflepuffs were chattering away about unimportant gossip, Gryffindors were setting off explosions, Ravenclaws were discussing the philosophical implications of genetic engineering on a post-apocalyptic world, and Slytherins were glowering or whispering secretively. All in all, a perfectly normal day.
Then, the black letter arrived.
Most pure- and half-bloods knew what this meant, although the Muggle-borns were somewhat confused. A black letter, occasionally called a bletter for short, was a letter sent by the Ministry of Magic notifying you that a family member had died.
Five hundred and sixty eyes followed the Ministry owl as it circled the room. Everyone had gone silent.
Therefore, it was much more noticeable when the door slammed open and a short, dark-haired boy ran through. He stopped short to glare at the circling owl, unaware of the fact that everyone’s eyes were focused on him. He was a bit older than he had looked at first sight, Ginny realized. He was at least nineteen, and looked more like he was in his early twenties. He was maybe 5’2", at the most, and, while not painfully skinny, still looked a bit thin. He was wearing Muggle clothes, jeans and red sweater. Which had a giant hole in it. Which was kinda really weird.
"Dang it." He spoke, pouting. "The stupid bird got here before me."
If he hadn’t been getting weird looks before, he sure was now.
The owl finally dropped off its letter. Ginny was pretty sure that they specifically bred the birds to be overly dramatic and annoyingly suspenseful. The letter landed directly in front of Snape.
The entire school held their collective breath as he opened it calmly, ignoring the short guy who was standing in the middle of the room.
Snape’s black eyes flitted across the parchment before looking up at the dark-haired boy. "Well, I assume you aren’t dead, as the letter reports?" He said coolly.
"Nope, not dead." The boy said. Then he frowned. "Well, okay, technically I was, but… well, you know how _that_ goes."
Sitting next to Ginny, Fred snapped his fingers. "Now I know where I remember him from!"
Harry, Ron, and Hermione turned incredulously to Fred. "You know him?! How?"
Fred sat back with a smile, folding his hands in front of him. "Well, it was way back in second year, right before the end of the term. We," he motioned to himself, George, and Lee Jordan, "had come in late to lunch. There was a situation, much like this, and, as it happened here, he comes running in, saying that he’s not dead. Which was, and is, quite obvious. His name is Jonathan. He seems to "die" a lot."
"So, what was it this time?" Snape asked the boy — Jonathan.
"I was stabbed and used as a sacrifice to raise a Turok-Han. No big."
None of the teachers seemed to agree with this. From her gasp, Ginny figured Hermione didn’t either.
"A Turok-Han?" Snape asked, his face undecipherable.
Jonathan waved his hand. "Oh, it’s dead now. Very much with the deadness." His face grew serious. "No, we have a _much_ bigger problem." He stopped there.
After a few moments, Snape asked, "Well? What is it?" impatiently.
Jonathan took a deep breath. "The First is back, and in power. It’s planning on killing off the Slayers-in-waiting, and then the Slayers themselves."
"Therefore ending the Slayer line." Dumbledore said grimly. "I see. Prefects, stay after the meal. I have something to discuss with you."