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Stick 'm up

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Summary: Xander and Willow visit Olivander

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Xander-CenteredprutserFR1319681166,40818 Aug 0418 Aug 04Yes
I still own nothing.......... that’s period(s). That means nothing from HP and nothing from BtVS



Stick ‘m up

Summary: Willow and Xander pay a visit to Olivanders.



“Yes, yes, I told you we would find it here Willow” Xander said.

“Are sure Xander?” was the reply of the redheaded witch.

“Come on, how many times I have told you that it is the proper way of doing it” spoke the male Scooby.

“But, but the last time I was here the owner wasn’t really nice to me” spoke Willow softly.

“That was a different Willow”. “The new and improved version is once again loved by everyone”.

“Thanks, I think”.

“Hello, anyone home”, Xander said while entering the shop.

“Good after…... Ooh it’s you miss Rosenburg, back again to trash my shop with your wild magic’s?”.

“Emmm, hi, mister Olivander and I’m still really really sorry about …..” spoke Willow while cowering behind Xander.

“Scuse me, but I’m the potential customer” said Xander.

Olivanders looked at Xander with a strange look. “Are you’re sure son …..”.

“Please, don’t call me son, I get a nasty taste in my mouth with that word.” Xander said. “People call me Xander”.

“Ooh you’re that muggle that stopped her” said Olivanders while nodding to Willow.

“I do not know or wish to know what a muggle is but I’m sure I don’t like being called anything else but Xander.”

“Ok, Xanderrr. You’re probably here because of all the magic you absorbed and you wish to purchase a wand” was the shopkeepers reply.

“Actually I’ve always used two. It doesn’t make any sense to use only one”

“Two? My boy, are you sure? I have never heard of such a thing?” said a very confused looking Olivanders.

“With two you have better grip and is easier for the bigger as well as the smaller things” said a grinning Xander. “Ooh yeah, they need to be exactly the same but I guess you know that.

“My dear boy, the last one of a pair I sold a couple of years ago to The Boy Who Lived”

“All right I comprise for once. Get me a pair that is almost identical then”.

The shopkeeper grab a couple of boxes from a shelf and set them on the counter. “I have here two pieces from the same tree”. One is hollow and the other one contains a drop phoenix blood”.

“No no no no no, no blood, do I look like I’m from the to-dust variety?” “Absolutely no blood!!”

“But the wand chooses the wielder”

“What a load of nonsense. If you can’t swim, don’t blame the water. You either can use them or you can’t. So what else do you have?"

Olivander went deep into his store.

“Wills, is every thing going OK with you and the package?”

“Yep, everything is going great, I’m starting to like this idea of yours, Xander” Willow answered with a mischievous smile.

Before he could comment Olivanders came back with more boxes.

“I’ve looked very hard to find the perfect couple for you young man. I hope this is going to work.”

“We’ll see sir.”

“Here I have one with the hair of a werewolf.”

“No, no, no. I do not want anything which contains blood, entrails, hair or skin-conditioner from whatever being”. spoke an annoyed Xander.

“You are not making this very easy young man!! You just made it almost impossible to find you the perfect wand”.

“Mister Olivander, I’m absolutely sure that what I want is in your store.”

“If you’re so sure I let you search my store under my supervision, maybe you can feel it…. Like she could. By the way where is your wand miss Rosenburg?”

“It, it got kinda got stuck in a vampire, sir” said Willow.



After strolling through lanes and lanes of boxes Xander suddenly stopped. Which made Olivanders bump into him and Willow into Oli’s.

“What’s in this box? It feels familiar.”Xander spoke.

“Finally, I told you the wand “

“I don’t care, just tell me what it is.”

“This wand was made at the break of dawn, more than one thousand years ago and it is willow wood with a hair and a drop of blood of the slayer at that time.”

“Ah, a reminder of my four favorite women. I will take that one as a souvenir”.

“A souvenir? This is a very powerful wand!!!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Hee, what’s in this box with the smilling Sumo painted on it?”

“Sir, if I recall correctly there are two wands in there. But I don’t think they actually work. I’ve never been able to find out if they contain a core or not and no one has ever been able to made them work. I kind of forgot too throw it away”.

Olivander opened the box and took the two identical blank pieces of wood out and gave them to a grinning Xander.

“Give it a wave!”

Xander made a waving motion with the two pieces still grinning. When nothing happened Olivander tried to grab the wands from Xander.

“Hee, what do you think your doing old man?”

“Xanderrr, they don’t work, do you see any sparkles, silver clouds, golden auras or anything else to indicate that these are the perfect wands for you”. Was the reply from a very grumpy shopkeeper. “Furthermore, what is that smell that is coming from that box?” pointing to the box in Willow’s hands.

“One: I choose these two, they don’t contain a core and are probably from bamboo” Xander said while walking with a fast pace to the front of the store “Second: That what you smell is Cantonese Duck and some egg-rolls which Willow is keeping warm. Third, The Happy Dragon was out of chop-sticks so we went looking for them here. So what do I owe you sir?”

The End

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