What did I do?
Authors note: The reason it has been so long is because I wrote a few chapters but then I had computer problems and loss everything in my computer. I kept on trying to recreate the chapters but it wasn’t coming out right. I ended up getting to busy and giving up on it. Then a few days ago I got a review from superbrutal and it just inspired me to write again. So thank you superbrutal.
Every thing that is in ‘is Willow’s thoughts’ because the site won’t let me italic. On with the story.
'The world is crashing down around me. This is my own doing. Buffy barley got a life because of me. I took away the most happiest and saddest days of her life. And OK… taking away the saddest isn’t that bad. It’s kind of good actually because now she never had to know real pain. But in doing so she never got to know real happiness because you need to know true pain to achieve true happiness. And I took that away from her.'
'By taking away Xander I changed the path of every life he ever touched. The ripples in the tree are different. How could I have not thought of the consequences? All I thought about is how I didn’t want to loose him. I never thought of how many good things he had done that are now lost. I never thought of how many times he saved the day. How could I be so stupid?'
'Giles taught me better then this. Oh goddess… What if Giles isn’t alive? No, he’s probably alive. Other wise Cherry wouldn’t have mentioned him because Dawn would have said something and people tend to be scared of death which includes talking about people who are dead. And if she’s not afraid she wouldn’t have said his name just out of plain politeness because she wouldn't want to bring up a sore subject.'
'So yippee… Giles is still alive. But what else has changed?'
'Stop it….stop it. If I keep thinking like this I’ll never figure a way out of whatever mess Dawn and I are in. Just think of something happy.'
'Xander! Xander’s a happy thought. He’s safe now, away from evil. Even if I changed everything and my whole life is upside down at least Xander’s safe. That was worth it, Xanders worth everything.'
'OK. Now I’m starting to think straight.'
'That’s so ironic. Even when Xander’s not here, or doesn't even exist as my Xander, he saves me. Xander’s my rock. He keeps me steady. All I have to do is think of him. I just picture his face and I know that everything is better. The knowledge that he is finally able to live a happy safe life, the one he always deserved, is enough to get me on the right path to finding a way back home, finding a way to make Dawn safe'.
'Xander never thought he really did much. He always thought Buffy, and even I, were the ones that saved the day, but it was really him all along, because he’s what got me through. And just like before he’s going to get me through this. He’s the true hero.'
“Are you OK?”
'Huh? Oh yea, I was talking to Cherry.'
“Yea, I’m fine, why?”
“You just zoned out for a minute. I thought you were lost from the functional world for good, that’s all.” She grins with a tilt of her head. Her pixy haircut givers her the sexy nymph look. Forbidden and mystical.
'What can I say that won’t sound like I'm a complete loon and will explain the zoning?'
“Actually I was thinking that we should go shopping because me and Dawn might be here a while and we don’t really have any clothes. We can’t exactly wear what we have every day because it will start to stink and we can’t just go naked because then we would get arrested because of indecent exposure. So we need some new clothes because nakedness equals badness.”
'Oh goddess! Now that I’m back to thinking rationally, at least rationally for me, I’m back to being nervous. That’s what happens when I’m around gorgeous people. I get all nervous, not that I’m not usually nervous when something weird happens, like say getting thrown into another dimension.'
She leans over in the scrap of cloth she calls clothes, “Oh, I don’t know. I kind of like nakedness. Sometimes the things that are bad can be so much fun.”
Cherry’s sultry voice tickles Willow’s cheek. Her lips quirked up and her eyes are leering at Willow like she’s naked right now, instead of in the jeans and tee-shirt she is wearing.
'Well if I wasn’t nervous before, I’m defiantly nervous now.'
“Anyways, clothes…. Clothes are good. We should get clothes because, like I said, their good and all of that goodness. So we should go. Well, unless you have something you need to do. Because I would understand if you do. Me and Dawn can just take a cab because cabs are a way of transportation and can get us to the place that has clothes.”
'Ohh… Goddess, I think I’m going to hyperventilate.'
“You cute. I think I’m going to enjoy having you under my roof slayer,” Cherry say’s with a wink.
Willow’s jaw goes slack and all she can utter is “huh?” with her wide Bambie eyes focused on Cherry like a deer caught in the headlights.
“I’ll grab Dawn and we can head out,” Cherry calls out over her shoulder at her last remark. Before strolling out of the room and leaving Willow in the dust.