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Demon Magnets, The Other White Meat

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Summary: Xander’s not the only demon magnet out there. Dolph’s son Darrin is one too. In other words, the story of the women that drove Dolph to the place he is now.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Anita Blake > Multiple Pairings > HumorCameronFR1311,049061,6416 Sep 046 Sep 04Yes
Demon Magnets, The Other White Meat...


Author: Cameron

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything, and as such, I’m not making money off of anything. The BtVS femmes belong to Joss Whedon, and the Anita Blake verse and characters belong to Laurell K. Hamilton.

Summary: Xander’s not the only demon magnet out there. Dolph’s son Darrin is one too. In other words, the story of the women that drove Dolph to the place he is now.

A/N: So I’ve been re-reading some of the AB books. Dolph has definitely changed over the course of the series – what caused that change? Why? Here’s my attempt at answer that.

Drabble the First: Tara

From the stands, Dolph and Lucille looked on with pride as the rest of the football team carried Darrin around on their shoulders.

As soon as he could, Darrin was running into the crowds, pulling a slender girl into his arms. Dolph was so glad to see his son with someone like Tara – a shy, reserved, and sweet girl. He could do a lot worse.

Years later…

"Why didn’t it work out, son? She was so perfect."

"She just lacked that certain something, that sense of danger. Plus, the whole lesbian thing wasn’t working for me."

Tara… a lesbian? Never.

Drabble the Second: Miss French

Miss French had the class captivated, and she knew it. ‘Who to pick? Too many of them have wasted their innocence, but there’s a few suitable candidates left to choose from. That football player, what was his name again – Darrin? Perfect. He’ll make such a lovely meal.’

"Darrin, could you stay after school and help me out?"

"Sorry, ma’am, my father won’t let me stay if it’s not for football."

‘Drat it, a meddling parent,’ she sighed, ‘I’d be so much better off in California or somewhere with disinvolved parents.’

"Very well, it wasn’t important any how." She pouted. ‘Damn.’

Drabble the Third: Veruca

Dolph looked at the girl sitting across from him. The way she was attacking her steak was just… disturbing. "Is your dinner suitable, my dear?"

"Good grub. Name’s Veruca."

"Very well… Veruca. What do you do?"

"Going to try that college thing in Cali. I just want to be discovered."


"I’m a serious musician. I’m like an animal, I am."

‘No surprise, based on your dining habits.’ Dolph thought.

He watched as Darrin escorted the girl to her car.

Dolph met Darrin at the door with a grimace. "And again, what happened with that lovely girl from high school?"

Drabble the Fourth: Darla

"Isn’t she just the greatest?" Darrin was bubbling over with enthusiasm.

"A vampire! A monster!" Dolph couldn’t help but yelling. "She’s abominable!"

"She’s so hot! She’s from Virginia, originally."

"And what year did she die in again?"

Darrin glared at him. "I met her at the law school library."

"A vamp trying to get some education? Or a quick meal?" Dolph couldn’t help himself.

"She’s a recruiter - works for a law firm, and thinks I’d have a great future with them, after I finish school of course."

"What type of evil law firm would hire vampires!?"

"Wolfram and Hart."

Drabble the Fifth: Drusilla

"Stars shining bright above me. Twinkle, twinkle, twinkling blood." Dru giggled as she spun around, before catching and eating a lightening bug.

Dolph and Lucille stared at the brunette, before addressing Darrin.

"Ok, I’ll bite. What type of monstrosity have you brought home now?"

"Naughty, naughty daddy! Offering bites and not meaning it. All that pretty blood, pretty pretty." Drusilla clapped her hands together, licking her lips.

Dolph and Lucille both jumped, and took a few steps back.

"Lucille, call Anita." Dolph pushed her into the house. "Darrin, we need to talk. Excuse me, miss, we won’t be right back."

Drabble the Sixth: Faith

"I’ve met the coolest girl, you’d love Faith, Dad."

Dolph felt a headache coming on. "What’s wrong with this one?"


"Darrin, you have the worst taste in women - ever. Where did you find this one? What type of monster is she?"

"She’s human. Faith’s a lot like Anita."

That did nothing to appease Dolph. While he liked Anita, occasionally, he certainly wouldn’t want his son dating her.

"She’s been unfairly incarcerated. Trumped-up murder charges. W&H’s getting her out."

Dolph hadn’t liked the idea of his son working for Wolfram and Hart before, and he still didn’t like it.

Drabble the Seventh:

"I’ve met this girl… Cordelia."

"So what happened to your merry murderess?"

"She’s still imprisoned."

"Just focus on getting through with this business trip and getting home, rather than romancing every woman in California. Is she human too?"



"She’s a seer, but couldn’t handle the visions. So now she’s half-demon."

"Half demon?"

"It’s the good half, though."

"That’s so reassuring." Sarcasm dripped through the phone lines.

"She’s just a fling. She’s not going to leave her vampire boyfriend."

"Good God Almighty! A half-demon who’s shacking up with a vampire? Leave that monster alone! What’s wrong with dating humans?"

Drabble the Eighth: Amy

"How can you date the occasionally furry, Blake?"

"What are you talking about Dolph?"

"How can you date someone who could chew your face off and enjoy it?"

She put her hands on her hips.

He sighed. "No offense to your friend Ms. Sims, Anita. It’s just that Darrin’s dating a wererat now. Some girl named Amy."

She understood then. She’d been long aware of Darrin’s fascination with the preternatural. Wait a minute… "Amy? Amy Madison? Wow, she’s a real witch!"

He looked at her.

"No, really, she’s a witch."

He knew there had been something off about the girl.

Drabble the Ninth: Marcie

"She’s so intense, great sense of humor."

"Son, she’s invisible."

"You always told me that what’s inside counts more than the outside."

"I didn’t say to find someone who didn’t have an outside!"

"Just give her a chance?"

"How? I can’t look her in the eyes, or shake her hand! An invisible girl! This is the most monstrous thing you’ve brought home since Drusilla the insane. What’s wrong with dating a real human?"

"You’ve gotten so prejudiced."

"You bet your ass I have! Think about what my grandkids would look like, or not look like as the case may be!"

Drabble the Tenth: Harmony

"Dad, I’d like you to meet my fiancée, Harmony."

"Hi! I’m, like, so glad to meet you. My snugglugums has told me, like, so much about you!"

"It’s a pleasure to meet you, too. Where are you from?"

"California! I was a, like, secretary for a law firm. But it kinda imploded? I’m a bit unemployed now."

Everything about her screamed "Like, Valley Girl!" but Dolph was so glad that Darrin had finally met a human he didn’t care that she didn’t have two working brain cells.

"Oh, and I’m a vamp too. Isn’t that, like, the most awesome ever?"

The End

You have reached the end of "Demon Magnets, The Other White Meat". This story is complete.

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