Rated: FR13 for naughty language although maybe it should have been higher. I'm not sure. (Please advise if you know).
Pairing: Willow/Methos (sort of...)
Disclaimer: Highlander folks belong to Panzer et al, BtVS folks to Joss et al
but Stanley is mine.
Distribution: fangirlexperiment.com (next week sometime), tth. Please let me know if you want it.
Authors Notes: this is what happens when you spend two weeks immersed completely in learning a foreign language and get brain overload :) Oh, and it's not beta'd.
Summary: An escapee and his capture.
For Dani who shares my birthday and requested a Methos-based HL type fic :) I'm not sure this is laugh out loud funny but use your imagination and you might get a chuckle :) Happy Birthday for Monday Dani!
Pencils ready... Commence....
"Stanley!" The shout was punctuated by a weary sigh and the sound of movement that stilled suddenly a moment before he knocked.
"It's open MacLeod," the voice called out. "Bloody animal," it muttered and the movement started again.
"Everything alright Adam?" MacLeod asked as he closed the door behind him. He looked around the living room of the house to find his friend standing on a chair and reaching up to the curtain rail.
"Willow isn't here Mac."
"I know. She asked Joe and I to check in on you while she's home."
He growled and reached out again but something moving made the curtains shift and Adam curse in a language Mac didn't know but was fairly certain the absent Willow would. "She wouldn't approve of your language, Old Man."
"She's not here and she's the reason I'm using that language. Women and their bloody nesting instincts. Why couldn't she get something normal? Stanley come here. She only left this morning and already I'm proving why our infertility is a good thing."
Mac stifled his laugh when the oldest living man overstretched trying to get to Stanley and nearly fell off the chair. "What are you doing Methos?"
Adam/Methos sighed and rubbed his face with his hand before moving the chair in the direction Stanley had gone. "Her bloody familiar did the one thing she promised me he wouldn't and left his enclosure," he scowled. "She promised that I could leave the lid off like she does when she's here and that it would be fine. He's never left it before," he said in a fair approximation of the woman making Mac laugh loudly. "Shut up Mac. She'll kill you too if I don't get the bloody thing back in it's cage," he said waving a hand in the direction of the large glass terrarium.
"No. I got here *after* this started. She said I wouldn't need to check on you until after lunch. The fact that this happened before that has nothing to do with me." He was still chuckling when he answered the ringing phone.
"BLOODY LIZARD! Stay still!" interrupted any greeting he would have uttered.
"It's Mac Willow."
"What's happened? Are they ok?"
"Get off my head! I'm old but I'm not petrified."
"What in the hellmouth is going on? I've not been gone long enough for them to get into any trouble have I?"
Mac laughed when Methos twirled past him trying to get the iguana off his head by swatting at it and dancing a jig in an effort to dislodge. it. "I think you'll be taking Stanley with you next time you go anywhere."
A string of curses in languages as old as the oldest Immortal interrupted the conversation again. "Will you get your claws out of my neck?"
"He's out of his terrarium? Did Methos take him out?"
"Apparantly he felt like a walk."
"Oh dear," she said, her voice laced with dread. She knew Methos didn't like the iguana, something to do with claws and blood. She'd had Stanley for a year before she met methos and he'd insisted she keep him anyway. She was beginning to regret that decision.
"Fucking thing get in there and stay there. If you think you're getting any of those treats she left for you you're crazier than I ever was and there's five thousand years of crazy here," he declared.
Willow snorted. "Tell him that the emergency isn't and I'll be back late
"I'll let you surprise him and tell him the call was Joe."
"You'd better not."
"Alright," the Highlander laughed watching Methos scowl and mumble as he re-ordered the furniture in the living room after successfully re-caging the errant pet. "I'll see you tomorrow witch."
"Sure thing Highlander. We'll see you at Joe's for the round of apology drinks."
Mac laughed and hung up. "That was Willow."
Methos stopped mid-step and turned slowly to look at his friend, grimacing. "She heard all of that?"
"She heard enough. She said to say the emergency wasn't and that she'll be back late tonight. She also said you'd see me tomorrow at Joe's for a round of apology drinks.
Methos sighed and sprawled out on the sofa, looking over the back as his friend opened the door to leave. "See you then boyscout." Mac nodded but as he closed the door he heard, "How the hell did you get out of there this time? You don't have fingers! How can you open the lid?" He laughed as he walked down the path to his car.