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Summary: Dawn Summers, professional kidnap victim

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Comedy > Dawn-CenteredNiklarusFR131369041,8379 Oct 049 Oct 04Yes
Title: Pop Goes The...
Chapter: One of One
Author: Niklarus
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Post-Chosen
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own BtVS and all its characters.

This is a response to the following challenge from:

Name: Miz Thang

Max rating will accept: R

Challenge: I don't care about the pairing or genre, as long as you have Drusilla say this nuresry rhyme: "Round and round the mulberrry bush, the monkey chased the weasel. The monkey thought it all in good fun. 'Pop!' goes the weasel." I'd prefer it if she said it to someone she could probably scare, i.e. Fred, Dawn, Willow, etc...

Author's Note: It's a humor piece, which is all I seem capable of writing these days. I've deleted at least 6 attempts at doing this as a full-length, serious story because I just couldn't keep my sense of snarky, sarcastic wit under control. This is about as close to serious as I can get it.


Dawn Summers sighed. Waking up to find herself alone in a small, dark room with the only light visible being a thin sliver from underneath the door, she knew right away what had happened.

Kidnapped again. It was becoming an overtold joke. An overtold joke that had been repeated at least once a year since the monks had 'Pinocchioed' her from a glowy green ball of energy into a real girl. There were times, she thought, when it all felt like a lame running gag on a TV show that had long since jumped the shark.

Well, at least she wasn't chained up this time. That was always a pleasant change of pace. Maybe the next time someone came to kidnap her, she'd ask them if they could arrange for a cell with a private, working toilet before she let them take her away. Or, and here was an interesting idea, maybe she'd just start skipping and prancing down the street while singing "They're coming to take me away, ha ha!" That one might actually confuse the next batch of thugs long enough for her to get away.

The sound of singing came from outside the door and Dawn winced. Surely, surely her klepto period hadn't been horrible enough for THIS to be her karma? "I hate my life," she thought and shuddered.

"Round and round the mulberry bush the monkey chased the weasel. The monkey thought it all in good fun. 'Pop' goes the weasel."

Drusilla. Damn.

"Great," Dawn thought. "As if Harmony and Glory weren't bad enough." Aloud, she yelled "CAN'T I GET KIDNAPPED BY ANY SANE PEOPLE?"

It was going to be a long, long night.

The End

You have reached the end of "Pop Goes The...". This story is complete.

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