22.5 Minutes with Andrew, Watcher Extraordinaire
Disclaimer: I own naught. I borrowed the script from this episode from simplyscripts.com
A/N: A prequel of sorts to ’20 Minutes with Andrew, aka the Italian Love God. I went two-and-a-half-minutes over; sorry, got carried away!
Twenty-Two-and-a-Half Minutes with Andrew, aka Watcher Extraordinaire
Buffy sat in the interrogation room of the new watchers building smirking. Well, not exactly the interrogation room, more like in Giles’ brand spanking new office- but there was definite interrogation going on.
Giles frowned harder. They both knew she’d ditched her training sessions with some of the younger slayers to go out with Faith, taking the underage girls out with her; the problem was that he had no proof that she’d done it and she wasn’t admitting to any of it.
“Buffy, “ Giles tried again, “I won’t be angry if you tell me the truth.”
‘Yea, like hell you won’t’ Buffy thought.
“I’ll just have to reschedule the session.” He continued.
“Giles, the girls do enough training as it is. They have school classes for six hours a day, then two hours of slayer-y classes and then an hour of physical training and then patrol. Enough is enough.”
“So are you saying that you gave them the night off?”
Dammit. “They’re not doing any more than you did when you first started.” Giles argued. “They need the training.”
“They need a night off.” Buffy muttered.
“Which you gave them? And allowed them to go into a club even though they’re underage?!”
Buffy’s smirk returned. “Prove it.”
Giles matched her smirk. “Fine.”
He picked up the receiver and dialled a number. It rang twice before someone picked it up.
“Hello, Andrew? It’s Giles. I just wanted to ask you something.”
“Ya?” Andrew responded.
Buffy’s eyes narrowed. That geek better not tell on her!
“Was Buffy with the slayers last night?”
“Umm ya, I think so. At the club right? In that case yup. But she doesn’t want anyone to know she snuck the girls into a club so you can’t tell anyone, kay?” He said in his somewhat whiny voice.
“Oh don’t worry, it’ll be our little secret. Bye Andrew.”
As Giles pinched the bridge of his nose and turned back to his slayer, Andrew turned back to Robson, Giles’ second in command.
“So you want me to go back to America on top secret Watcher business?” He said excitedly.
Robson refrained from slapping his forehead with his palm. “Andrew, this is really, really important.” He said patiently. “This girl is very dangerous, not to mention mentally unstable. You will have a team of slayers with you to help with the retrieval. Angel and his team contacted Giles less than an hour ago and we need to get someone out there a.s.a.p. Will you do it?”
Andrew nodded slowly. “I see… Well, as I currently have no slayer in my charge I feel that it is my sacred duty to help the new and improved watchers council in any way I can... Do I get a sword?”
“No!” Dawn, who had been sitting to the side quietly burst out. Robson turned to her sharply and she flushed slightly. “Sorry, it’s just Buffy had to stop teaching him how to use a sword.”
Andrew nodded regrettably. “For health reasons.”
Robson frowned in slight confusion.
“She was worried about her health if he got anywhere near her with it.” Dawn clarified.
“Ah. I see… Well I would completely understand if you’d rather not go. I’m sure we can get someone else. The only reason Giles suggested you was because-“
“Because he wanted the best?” Andrew suggested boastfully, not noticing Dawn’s disbelieving snort in the background.
“Ah, actually because the rest are all busy.”
“I see.” Andrew sighed. “The path to redemption is difficult, which is why I must do this now. It is with a heavy heart that I travel across the seas to bring back our lost comrade.”
Robson smiled uneasily. “Right. That’s great then. But before you leave, there’s something you should know…”
Andrew patted his hair and sucked on his pipe as he snuggled further into the plush leather chair in Angel’s office. He didn’t seem to realise that he was getting some very odd looks from the other occupants of the room. They were waiting for Angel to arrive with more news of the psycho slayer, but Angel didn’t come alone. He came with… “Spike?”
Spike’s eyes widened as he saw who it was. “Oh, for the love of-“
“Spike? It's you. It's really you!” Andrew ran forward and hugged the platinum vampire, once again oblivious to the looks he was getting. “My therapist thought I was holding onto false hope, but... I knew you'd come back. You're like... you're like Gandalf the White, resurrected from the pit of the Balrog, more beautiful than ever. Ohh... he's alive, Frodo. He's alive.” He sobbed.
Angel smirked. “You two know each other?”
Andrew stepped back from Spike sniffling. “Uh, yeah. Um... We-we saved the world together. I mean, Buffy helped, but... it was mostly us. Uh, so what happened? Last I heard, you went all pillar of fire down in the hellmouth.”
“Could we save memory lane till after we contain this psychotic super powered killing machine?” Angel said as he took a seat around the desk.
Wesley stood up. “We were just about to bring everyone up to speed on slayer mythology.”
“I'll take it from here, Pryce. Best they hear it from an expert.”
Several of the people/ demons in the office rolled their eyes. Was it some kind of a rule for all watchers to start out as pompous idiots?
After he had finished the tale of the ‘slayer of the vampyr’, Andrew took out a juice box which he drunk from noisily as Spike and Angel argued.
“If anybody needs me; I'll be at the docks doing his job.” Spike said as he sauntered from the office.
Andrew watched him go before coming to a decision; it was his mission after all.
“Excuse me one minute-o.” He said before he followed Spike out the room.
“Bravo. I see your senses seem to be as well-honed as your Viggo Mortensen pectorals.” Andrew said from where he had been ‘stealthily’ hiding. Giles instructions on shadowing had been 1, don’t trip and 2, ‘stop your infernal whining’.
“What are you doing out here, Andrew?”
He ran after the vampire, puffing his chest out in an attempt to hide his fear. “This is where the action is, bro. On the mean streets. Can you dig it?”
“Go back to Wolfram & Hart. Don't have time for games.”
“That's good, 'cause Andy ain't playing.” He opened his coat to reveal several guns he had stolen from the unknowing Giles on the inside. “You're not the only one who's changed. Mr. Giles has been training me. I'm faster, stronger, and 82% more manly than the last time we-“ It was then that he tripped over something and started screaming like a little girl.
“And-and so I say, ‘well, the two of us disagree with you, hombre.’ And-and he's all... ‘The two of you?’ And I say, ‘Yeah, me and my electric net.’ Then- What's wrong?” Andrew asked when he realised Spike had stopped.
“Blood. Smells different. Stronger. “
“Like nickels?“ Andrew called as Spike ran off down an alley way. “Ai, ai ai” He sighed and followed until he came face to face with a brick wall. “Dead end.”
“It's her blood.”
Andrew heard Spike speak, but that’s when everything went black.
Andrew brushed some dust off his shirt and stepped out of the shadows as he heard Angel speak.
“Chain her into the van. I want armed guards riding with her in the back.”
“That's all right, boys. I'll take it from here“ It was his mission after all.
“Totally appreciate your help on this one, big guy. Never could've found her without you, but you got enough problems of your own to worry about.”
“Get outta the way, Andrew.”
In a rather stupid move, he stepped up and blocked one of the worlds greatest warriors. “She's a slayer. That means she's ours.”
“Yeah. Sorry. Not how it works.” Angel turned back to the guards. “Load her up. Don't hesitate to tranq her if she so much as-“
“No. I don't think you... heard me, Angel Think we're just gonna let you take her back to your evil stronghold? Well, as they say in Mexico... No. We're not gonna let you.” Several slayers came out and stood behind him, ready to answer to his signal. He felt stronger than he ever had in his life.
He looked Angel in the eye. It was like he was Luke Skywalker and he was Darth Vader! He turned swiftly on his heel and strode away, glad that Angel’s crew had already left so they didn’t see when he tripped over his own feet. He may be a watcher, but he was still Andrew after all.