Title: Fine Lines
Summary: When someone Tara cares about is in trouble, will she cross the forbidden fine lines of being ascended?
Disclaimer: Tara and all things Buffy and Angel belong to the great Joss Whedon. His creativity has earned him much money and given me food for fanfics. Stargate belongs to MGM and I make no profit from having fun with such wonderful characters.
Feedback: Yes please!
Authors notes: This is my very first Stargate fic. I hope I do the characters and storyline justice. As for the storyline, one quick note on where it falls. The intro is the very end of Buffy, season six. Chapter one is two years after that and the rest of the story is three years later. Now, enough of my prattle and on to the story!
Authors Notes 2: FYI: This fic is done but I would like to do some tweaking and editing. I'm not promising me perfection, but to hopefully catch a few of my mistakes. Right now I'm posting the Intro-Part Three. More will come soon, so enjoy! Jes
How long had she been there, just watching with horror on her face? Ever since that moment, when she had seen red splattered on Willow’s nice white top, it had been a nightmare. There was a feeling of confusion, wondering what had happened, before she suddenly felt a tug. She had always wondered what it would be like to die – kind of morbid if you thought about it. However, after losing her mother and then dealing with the Scoobies, death had become too close. Had she known it would come for her? In a way. What she did was dangerous, but there was no other way for her to live. Helping the Scoobies was a must for her. It was a way of life that had to be lived by someone. Had she made a difference? She hoped so.
After everything seemed to wink out of existence and her brain finally comprehended what was going on, Tara was gone. At least seemingly. The tug was still there, and in her mind of knowing about the supernatural, she knew exactly what it was. Buffy had spoken of heaven, of a place where one went after death. From what she believed, there were several different spiritual planes of life after death. With a final thought of Willow, of knowing deep down that she was finished for some reason, Tara started to let go of her hold on her world, to give into the tug, when even in spiritual form she was covered with prickles of magic. The tug was suddenly gone, replaced with a force that pushed her back. Hovering at the edge of the room, Tara watched as a dark blue cloud filled the room, her Willow lifting her face to it with blackened eyes, commanding Osiris to bring her lover from the beyond.
Willow had just wanted her back. It had all been done out of love, Tara told herself. The tug hadn’t returned though, and she had been stuck in this room ever since. Anytime she had tried to leave, as soon as she stepped through the door she stepped right back into it. Had Willow doomed her to a life of walking this plane the rest of her dead life? Was she a ghost or something else? She wanted to say ghost, but Dawn had come in some time ago and never noticed her. How many times had she kneeled in front of the girl, reaching out and trying to touch her? This was Dawnie, crying out over her dead body. She wanted to soothe her, to tell her that it would be okay, that she was still there. If only she could wipe away the tears of the only other member of the Scoobies that had truly gotten to know her. Dawn was special, the little sister who was more true than her own family. Goddess, why Dawn? Why not one of the older members, and why had Willow just left her body here?
It seemed to be forever before anyone came. There had been the sound of people arriving downstairs. Buffy’s voice could be heard calling out for Willow and then Dawn. Shaking where she sat sitting against the wall, Dawn didn’t answer, and Tara was for sure that she hadn’t even heard her sister calling. It seemed to take forever, even though it probably wasn’t hardly a minute before Buffy walked in. “Oh God.”
From where Dawn was huddled in the corner near a table, the girl softly whispered, her voice burdened from crying, “I didn’t… want to leave her alone.”
‘Oh Dawnie. I would have understood if you had left,’ thought Tara.
Kneeling in front of Dawn, where Tara had knelt earlier, Buffy reached out and comforted Dawn as Tara had wanted to. “Dawn, Sweetheart. Come on. Honey, we need to get out of here,okay.” Buffy’s hand stroked Dawn’s hair. “Dawn, sweetheart, be strong for me, okay?”
It was at this time that Xander walked in. His eyes had wandered to Tara’s body. Of all the Scoobies, it was Xander that Tara always felt a stranger around. Sure, he was nice to her and they joked. Then again, he was Willow’s best friend. At one time he may have been even more. Maybe she was always scared that there would be a part of Willow that would always be his. Had he felt threatened as she had? If so, there was no look on his face that said so. His eyes stared at her and in them she saw the pain. The Scoobies had lost another.
Buffy was trying to walk Dawn out of the room by now. “Dawn, we need to go downstairs.”
“I don’t understand,” sobbed Dawn.
‘Goddess, Dawnie, I don’t either,’ Tara wanted to say.
Instead, Buffy did. “I don’t understand either.”
Going to follow them, Tara stepped through the room and then found herself in it once again. As before she had been left with her own body. Shaking her head, she started to cry. Then again, could ghosts cry? Goddess, why was this happening? What had she done so wrong to be stuck here? The answer was clear. She hadn’t done anything. If Willow hadn’t of… But she wouldn’t, couldn’t blame Willow. Too much had happened between them for her to. Willow was her love, and not someone she would think of as the one who had doomed her.
Looking around the room, she sighed. It was the room they had shared here, a room with fond memories and bitter ones. And now, standing in it, she found herself wishing that those memories were not there, because in all, they were painful – the good ones because there were no more possible. There would never be anymore waking up with Willow by her side, no arms wrapping around her in here.
Her heart ached and she felt as if she was about to cry for the millionth time that morning, her gaze looking at her body, when a voice commented behind her, “This journey could be just the beginning.”
Tara turned to see a woman standing behind her, a light shining all around her. “Who are you?”
“Your fate is in your hands, or at least the road you take, for it is yours to chose.”
“What do you mean?” Tara shook her head. It was spinning and not much was making sense right now. “Are you some joke the PTB’s have sent?”
“Powers That Be.”
The woman smiled. “I am not as they, but my existence may have similar boundaries.”
“What do you want?”
“There are choices you must make. Are you ready to give up, to lie down and ascend to an existence of just knowing peace? Then again, you could be ready to for a different level. There are many, as you have guessed.”
“I don’t understand. Are you offering me a different existence than the one I have been forced into?”
“Forced you are not. There is always a decision to every situation, and many paths to choose.”
“So my spirit ascends to what ever it is you are and I live my life out in heaven?”
“Heaven is only as you see it, but the heavens are vast. You must choose what you want to be, where your loyalties lie…”
“Huh?” What was with this woman speaking in riddles?
“When the mind is enlightened the body means not.”
“Well, my body means not, as I have been dead for some time.”
“Which usually would keep this from happening, as time has passed. However, the light is still burning on in you. Attached to the spiritual plane, you are. Only by letting go of such will you be able to move to whatever path you want.”
“I have let go.”
Tara sighed, “I was ready to go.”
“She held you back. Her hold on you is strong. You must decide.”
Kneeling down, inspecting the body that was hers, Tara whispered, “Of one decision I am for sure. I don’t want to be here.” Looking up, she added, “I knew my time here would be short, but to be able to move on from here, to still be able to do something…”
“Then all you have to do is walk through the door.”
Taking a deep breath Tara headed back through the door. The woman was right in that she had to make this decision. No matter how many times she had tried to leave, in her heart she hadn’t wanted to abandon her friends. She was dead though, and since the first time when she had felt that tug, she let go with every part of her and stepped through, moving on.
It was at this time that Xander had come to check up on the body. Walking into the room, not noticing the figure that had stepped through the door and him as he had entered, Xander walked over and found his eyes widening. A strange light was hovering over Tara, or at least where Tara had been. It rose and then seemed to fly up through the ceiling, leaving only her clothes lying on the floor in perfect formation as when she had been wearing them.