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00Zeppo's Chaotic Days

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This story is No. 3 in the series "00Zeppo". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Buffy/James Bond crossover. 3rd in the Series. Following "In His Lady's Service" and "00Zeppo Returns"

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > James BondcwolfFR1397,08702223,0628 Nov 043 Jan 06Yes

Meetings and surprises

Things were quiet after the explosive graduation. They had also settled down to a relatively normal hum.

Xander had left with James Bond several days ago. Patrolling continued as normal.

Fred pulled up to Giles apartment, and sat for a minute thinking. Then he set the defences, and got out.

He walked up and knocked on the door. It opened after a few seconds.

Giles stared for a second then moved to one side.

“Thank you.” Then Fred walked in.

Giles gestured to a couch. “Would you like some tea?”

“No thanks.”

Giles nodded and poured himself a cup. Then he sat down. “So. What can I do for you?”

Fred steepled his fingers. “Tell me, Mr. Giles. Where did you get the timer that we used for the explosives?”

Giles paused while sipping. Then he finished and held the cup and saucer in his hands. “I found it detached from a bomb directly below the library.”

Giles then started to take another sip.

“That wouldn’t happen to be the same bomb that Xander kept from blowing up, would it?”

Fred then ducked as some tea flew over his head.

“Dear Lord!”

Bond gestured back into the restaurant. “Shall we sit and discuss some things?”

Xander glanced at him then sighed. “Why not.”

Ethan grinned and started to walk in.

Q glanced up. “Is there any way to train this contraption?” He asked, pointing toward the BMW that was sniffing a sewer vent.

Ethan blinked. “It’s still around? I can bring things back to normal…” He said and started to gesture.

Q waved his hands in front of him. “NO!”

Ethan paused then shrugged. “I’m sure some type of dog training manual will help.” Then he turned and followed James and Xander.

Q watched him go with a perplexed look on his face.

The owner of the restaurant watched his customers walk in. “Back so soon?”

Bond nodded. “A private booth this time, if you please.”

“Of course.”

Xander followed along silently.

They were lead to a door in back.

“This is a conference room we set aside occasionally. Will you be wanting menus?”

Xander shook his head. “Probably not. We’ll probably be talking too much.”

The owner nodded. “Just let me know if you need anything.” Then he walked away.

Bond gestured to a seat. “Please be seated.”

Ethan grinned and sat down. Xander sat across from him and glared. Bond sat in another chair.

“So tell me, Ethan. What brings you to London?” Bond asked.

“A little of this, a little of that.”

“Could you be more specific?”

Ethan shrugged. “I wanted to have a little chat with the Watchers Council. More specifically, Travers.”

Xander blinked. “So you caused all that for what? A diversion?”

“Precisely.” Ethan said. “And congratulations on guessing it. The Watchers were spreading themselves thin trying to find out what was happening.”

Xander rubbed his head. “Why did you want to talk to them?”

“They’ve mistreated Slayers. Miss Summers more specifically.”

Xander stared for a second. “Didn’t you do the same on one occasion?”

“Yes. But after seeing the results, specifically the times she’s saved the world… I’ve come to a few conclusions.”

“And they are?”

“Preventing chaos causes chaos in its own way. And the last thing I want is the amount of chaos that comes from the portal to hell being opened.”

“For a second there, I thought you were going to say you cared about her. It just doesn’t fit with you.” Xander spoke with a neutral tone of voice.

“She amuses me. Yes. But that’s it.”

“So basically, you’re saving your own skin?”

“Of course.”

Xander groaned. “I feel sorry for Giles.”

Ethan nodded. “Yes. I do tend to stress him out.”

Bond shook his head. “Back on topic. What about all the damage you’ve caused?”

Ethan grinned and waved a hand and a flash of light appeared. “Everything except the BMW back to normal.”


”Is that his name? He asked me not to change it back.”

Bond and Xander stared at each other then back at Ethan.

Then Bond spoke. “And the people who saw all of it?”

Ethan shook his head. “I can’t change that. Part of my goal was to make people aware of the not so normal.” Then he smiled. “It causes such wonderful chaos…”

Xander glared at him, then got out of his chair and started forward.

Ethan shook his head and wagged a finger at him. “Sorry. Not today.”

Then there was another flash. When it was gone, so was he.

Bond blinked. “I take it that this is normal?”

Xander sighed. “Ask Giles. That’s his department.”

As they stood to leave, Xander’s communicator beeped.


Giles voice came through. “Xander… why didn’t you tell us about the bomb?”

Xander blinked then sighed again. “Would you have believed me?” Then he hung up.

He and Bond walked out and drove back to headquarters.

M hung up as Bond and Xander walked in. “Well?”

“We found him. Or rather he came to us.”

M shook her head. “I just finished talking to The Queen. She… wasn’t too thrilled with the existence of magic, but believed me.”

Xander nodded. “So what now?”

M steepled her fingers. “Now you bring my people up to speed on everything you know about the supernatural.”


“Welcome to your first day as a teacher, Mr. Bond.”

Ethan stood in a small restaurant, two hundred miles away. He was writing in a small notebook.

“Hmm… I wonder how annoyed Saddam Hussein will be if I pay him a visit.” Then he cackled. “Maybe he’ll surrender to the U.S.”

Back in London, the ex-husband lay whimpering in a hospital bed.

A nurse stood outside the room. “It shouldn’t be possible Doctor. But it is.”

“Yes I know. I didn’t think a needle could jam that far between someone’s legs.”

(I have a vague idea for an Ethan centered story based in this universe. The title will be “Chaos Follows.)

The End

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