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00Zeppo's Chaotic Days

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This story is No. 3 in the series "00Zeppo". You may wish to read the series introduction and the preceeding stories first.

Summary: Buffy/James Bond crossover. 3rd in the Series. Following "In His Lady's Service" and "00Zeppo Returns"

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Movies > James BondcwolfFR1397,08702223,1218 Nov 043 Jan 06Yes

00Zeppo's Chaotic Days

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy or James Bond

(please keep in mind that the longest flight I've been on was from Hollywood, CA to TN. And I generally sleep during flights. Also keep in mind I've never been on a concorde. Attempting to pull parts from descriptions I found on the internet. I'm trying to put a few facts in that I've found as well.)

As they got aboard, Xander just stared in wonder.

James smiled and allowed himself to be carried along in the enthusiasm. Then he took out a camera and handed it over. "Tourists seem to want to take pictures. I don't know why though."

Xander grinned and started to take one.

"Not yet. We're getting ready for take off. Since we do have the run of the plane, you get to choose where to sit. But for takeoff, and the first hour I want to show you something."


They walked to a certain area.

James gestured. "This is the aft cabin bulkhead row. Row 11 is where we'll sit initially. Now then, sit down and look forward. What do you see?"

"Um... a grey strip at the top with glowing numbers?"

"Basically, the Mach airspeed, altitude, outside air temerature, and the MPH ground speed equivalent of Mach. If you don't want to know how fast we're going, we can move." James grinned.

"I think I'll be ok here."

"Want the window seat?"


"Everything has been stored already." He looked at Xanders carryon. "Books?"

"A few."

"We're ready for takeoff Mr. Bond." Said the one stewardess on board.

"We're ready."

She pushed a button to let the pilot know then buckled up.

It was possible that Buffy could've heard a "YEEEHAAA!" coming from the plane as it took off, but they were inside the waiting lounge building watching it fly away.

James blinked. One and a half hours into the flight, and Xander was already asleep.

He shook his head as the snores filling the area matched the sound of the plane in perfect harmony.

Xander snorted, then sat up. He looked around dazedly, then relaxed.

Their stewardess named Joanna, walked up. "Would you care for something to eat or drink?"

Xander composed himself. "Cherry coke?"

"Vodka Martini for me. Shaken not stirred."

"Of course."

Xander stared at him.

James stared back. "I indulge. If nothing else, having too much to drink dulls my reflexes. You don't have to be afraid."

Xander shrugged. "Just checking."

After they got their drinks, they sipped in silence. Then James looked over again.

"One thing that I've been meaning to ask."


"A lot of your knowledge seems to be military in origin... yet you've never received that type of training."

Xander sighed. "One of the many quirks of a hellmouth. Also a reason why everyone in town has decided to ignore Halloween even if it means loss in revenue."


"This former acquaintance of Giles from his wild days showed up in town." Xander shook his head. "We all thought he'd been stuffy his whole life. Imagine how surprised we were to discover that he walked on the dark side with wild magic back then. Of course he got out, Ethan Rayne went deeper."


"From what Giles said, he's a chaos mage. Something about serving Chaos and loving to see the results. He Also said that Ethan isn't necessarily evil, it's just his actions always have unplanned results that wind up serving it. Hence the chaos part."

James blinked.

Xander grinned morbidly. "Halloween, and chaos spells, and a little magic costume shop called Ethan's oh my. The last thing I needed in my head was the memories of a Special Forces Lieutenant in a war or battle that I can't really place. The nightmares were scary, but the locations were vague."

Xander shook his head. "They faded, the training didn't. But telling everyone was out of the question. Knowing Buffy she'd try to find a way to have a spell remove it, and voila. Mr. Drooly."

James shook his head. "Your life is interesting."

Xander snorted. "Nah, that was the boring part of it. Don't get me started on the ugly stuff. Though I will tell you, it was funny seeing Buffy dressed up as a noblewoman... screaming at a car. She kept saying something about saving her from a demon."

James laughed.

Elsewhere, Ethan Rayne walked out of London's Heathrow terminal, and hailed a cab. He grimaced. Rupert and his righteous attitude and contacts had made it hard for him to stay in the U.S. Oh well.

He grinned. "London, here I come."
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