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WE had no choice, we owed him

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Summary: our two favorite vamps become the new DADA teachers

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Harry Potter > Spike-CenterednotmydestinyFR13710,19101813,42214 Nov 0424 Jul 05No

questions

Disclaimer:Not mine. Never will be. Even in my dreams I end up being the tree int he episode instead of creator.

Feedback:Much appreciated.
A/N: Thanks 4 the reviews, it inspired me 2 write more, so keep it comming.
A/N2: I've gotta send a thanks 2 my beta,Zira, since I'm way 2 lazy 2 actually read my stuff again. Let me know what you think.

The next day…

Illyria was wandering the halls of this strange school. The very walls were screaming power. She had been remembering conversations of the last days of Wolfram and Hart, the shell's memories. She had been having strange flashbacks of Fred’s life. She remembered a question that had been left unfinished because it as being emptied out. One she did not understand. So she went to the two half-breeds to find the answer.

She stepped inside the classroom. There were no children, with the exception of one, who was poking the white-haired one’s chest. She stopped yelling at him, then faced both of them. “You will stop! I swear, if I have to go through a class like that again, I will call Buffy.” The two vampires in question widened their eyes, the moved to protest, but Illyria spoke before they could utter one word.

“If cave-men, and astronauts got in a fight, who would win?” All three turned around in confusion.

“What did you say?” Spike said warily.

“If cavemen and astronauts got in a fight, who would win? This shell’s memories have been flashing back and forth through my head, and I find myself…curious.” Angel and Spike looked down for a long time.

Angel raised his head. “Well, after a long time, after she left,” they decided to refer to Fred as ‘she’ and ‘her’ because it was less painful, “we finally decided it would be…” they both made to answer.

“Cavemen”
“Astronauts”
They said in unison, then looked at each other. “We agreed it would be astronauts” Angel said.

“No you agreed. I chose to ignore anything you said after that, and respond to it as ‘Whatever, peaches’.”

Dawn glared at Illyria. “And can you imagine, I almost stopped the fighting. Thanks a lot.”

Illyria tilted her head at her. “You are the Key.” Dawn narrowed her eyes even further.

“And what are you planning to do about it?”

“In my time, you were guardian to dimensions, neutral in all ways. Though you do not remember this at all, I am some what comforted to be acquainted with another from the ancient days of my reign in this century. It does not feel as…strange. Is that shell suitable to your powers?”

The two vampires were still at it, Spike was calling him a bunch of names. Then made fun of his hair, and Angel worriedly reached up to his hair. Dawn sighed. It was Dumbledore’s problem now, not hers. “This is my body, the monks gave it to me. I don’t think I have powers anymore, after this whole hell god incident where I had to bleed at a certain time, and I would open up all the doors to all dimensions. After that portal closed, I am kinda powerless. This shell, and where it is, is my home. It’s suitable to me, no powers.”

Illyria studied her for a long time then finally said “I still feel power coming strongly from you. You are still the Key, it is part of who you are, as this shell now must be part of who I am.” She thought a moment, then decided on something. “You are more versed in the ways of this entire world than I am. My last guide died. He had said he was the wrong type of being to be able to distinguish the line of right and wrong. If I ask of you to guide me in the ways of the world, would your answer be similar?”

Dawn thought long and hard. Then came up with the most truthful answer she could give. “Not yet.” She said in the quietest voice imaginable. Illyria nodded at this response, then looked back at the two still arguing vampires.

“Do you know the answer?” She looked at the key.

“First lesson, you never know. Second, never get in between those two.” Then, Dawn asked something on her mind. “You said something about a shell...what did your shell look like before?”

Illyria reverted to ‘Fred’ form. “Like this.” Said a southern accented skinny brown-hair brown-eyed girl. She was wearing a pretty red dress, and her hair was wavy and curly. She looked very happy.

Dawn swallowed. “W-was she a real person, before you…”

“She tried to resist my coming, but she had been chosen by my Qua-xhan, and I was bound to her no matter what. Her spirit was destroyed in my resurrection, yet electrical spasms remained where her brain collapsed.” Dawn looked in silence. She had been borne into this world. She had seen more and more of the good people fall. And the scary thing was, she hadn’t been at all surprised or shaken by Illyria’s response.

“Oh.” She said. Illyria changed back to her regular blue. Then from behind her erupted many gasps at the door. The vampire’s had to stop their arguing which had changed subject to who had died the most, to look. The sixth years were staring at Illyria.

“Hi class.” Angel chuckled nervously.
*******************************************************
Illyria was now at the front of the class, all blue. Spike and Angel had gotten them to calm down. The sixth years were still staring in silence though.

“What is she?” Came the question from a red-headed female in the third row.

“And you are?” Spike asked.

“Ginny Weasley.”

“Well, Ginny, she’s one of the first forms of demons. Purest, oldest, most ancient demons.” Angel said.

“Most annoying as well. They prance around acting like they’re queen of the universe, and always referring to you as muck, unholy slime, idiots, so on and so forth. I believe they talk to plants.”

“So why didn’t you kill it?” Came a Slytherin. “Humphrey Goyle.”

“They did not have strength to, I was powerful, beyond them.” Illyria stated.
“That’s not true! It’s just the watcher boy didn’t want to kill you. Not that he ruled us, or anything, he just…didn’t let us…” Spike finished off lamely.

“We didn’t have the artillery, and Illyria isn’t evil, or anything, she helped us in the last fight!” Angel said more to himself, than to any.

“What fight, if you excuse me, sir?”

“With bloody Wolfram and Hart, the bastards that let her come be resurrected.”

The students gasped, they knew the name well. “Why were you fighting them? Why did they fight you?” Ginny asked another one.

“Because we killed the Black Thorn.” Angel expected them to ask what the hell the black thorn was, but when he looked up, they all stared in horror.

“Wait a bloody second, your stupid world of ‘powerful’ wizards knew about the thorn thing all along, and never did a bloody thing about it!?” Spike demanded. A little Slytherin said something pre-rehearsed.

“It is not the ways of the wizarding world to interfere with the affairs of muggles."

“They weren’t muggles!”

“They lawyers were muggles, were they not?” said the Slytherin once more, he had cheek. But it’s not like you could tell the difference between the vampires and him.

“Well one of the lawyers had an EVIL HAND!” Angel said like it was real news.
“And,” Spike added, “the accounts receivable people cheated me in a poker game and took all the kittens.” Then bent to Angel’s shoulder, “ Oh, and need I remind you, they agreed it was cavemen who won.” Angel growled again.

“The point is, Wolfram and Hart is full of evil people.”

“Wait a second, weren’t you the CEO there? My uncle works in the english branch, he might’ve mentioned you.”

“Yeah, but the difference is, I’m not evil.”

“But you did business with demons.”

“I was turning it from the inside out.”

“You killed thousands of humans.”

“I saved the world!”

“So did I.” Spike entered the conversation between the Slytherin, and Vampire.

“Not this conversation again. Spike, you know I saved the world way more times than you did.” Spike made to speak, “Adam wouldn’t count anyway, he wasn’t going to put everyone in hell!”

“But you were.”

“I was evil!”

“But you deny you're not now, even though you ran an evil-infested law-firm, as you said?” The Slytherin crossed his arms in speculation, and Spike did the same, eyeing him. The rest of the class was either shocked, or giggling. The poor helpless vampire was confused, and annoyed, and had no way to defend himself. Right.
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