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Desperate Times

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Summary: A BtVS/Desperate Housewives Xover. The story we all know begins again. This time in a familiar place.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > Desperate HousewivesLawrencePayneFR1314,955021,59016 Nov 0416 Nov 04Yes
Title: Desperate Times (Welcome to Wisteria Lane) XOVER, PG. Part 1 of ?.
Author: Lawrence Payne
Rating: PG
Cast: Susan and Julie Mayer, Bree Van De Kamp, Lynette Scavo, Gabrielle Solis, and John (the gardener) with some new characters thrown in.
Type: a BtVS/Desperate Housewives Crossover.
Timeline: BtVS –post S7: DH -S1 AU
Disclaimer: I own nothing. A whole slew of other people own these characters and concepts.

Comments: Constructive feedback is always appreciated. :)

Archiving: If you want to, sure. Feel free. Just tell me if you do.

Summary: The story we all know begins again. This time in a familiar place.

Author’s Notes: This fic was originally meant to be the foundation for a whole series. Whether or not it will be is still undecided.

Also, as of this writing, only 3 episodes of DH have aired. This story in no way follows DH canon so I’ll label it AU for DH, but it is set post S7 of BtVS so it could be whatever you want it to be for that.

Desperate Times

"I never regretted my decision to end my life. That may seem like an odd thing for a dead person to say, but it is true. Ending my life was my decision. It was something I needed to do. Leaving my friends and family was tough. Watching them try to cope with losing me is the most painful thing I have ever done. But, when it was all said and done, if I had it to do over, I would."

"It's the secrets I regret. All those secrets. Some too terrible for words. The burden of keeping those secrets that I placed on my family and friends that was my biggest regret. Until now."

"Now my biggest regret is that I won't be able to help my friends. My friends. Susan, Bree, Lyn, and Gabrielle. It's hard to believe the impact these four truly amazing women had on my former life. They stuck by me through everything. Even my suicide did not end our friendship."

"Now, when all four of their lives are about to dramatically change, I won't be there to help them. Sorry girls. I can see everything, but I can do nothing. I can't help them through, what is sure to be, the most desperate time of their lives."

“A storm is coming. I can see it looming on the horizon, but I can’t do a damn thing about it. Strange things are happening in Wisteria Lane, when everything is revealed, all of their lives will be changed, and nothing will ever be the same.”

8:10 PM PCT. USA. California. 37441 Wisteria Lane.

Susan, Bree, Lyn, and Gabrielle were having another one of their usual impromptu meetings in Susan’s kitchen. The small circle of friends sat in their usual chairs as they enjoyed Susan’s coffee and talked about the current series of bizarre events that have plagued Wisteria Lane.

“Mary Alice killing herself was strange enough,” Susan said as she brushed a wayward hair behind her ear with her hand, “now we have people disappearing.”

“Several students from Jason’s school did not show up today, or yesterday,” Bree stated in her usual calm manner. “I am seriously considering taking him out of that school and putting him in a safer private school.”

“Those kids are probably out partying,” Lyn said. “I remember what I was like at that age.”

“These are not children we are talking about. These are young adults. They are supposed to know better. Their poor parents must be worried sick.”

“That’s just it,” Susan argued. “It’s not just high school kids. Mr. Cunningham, from down the block, never showed at Mary’s funeral. No one has seen him or his son Nick in days. And Mike, the football player, Julie says he’s missing too.”

“And has anyone seen Edie lately?” Lyn interjected. “That woman has literally fallen off the face of the Earth.”

Susan’s concern for her neighbors was genuine, but she could not stop the small smile that slowly formed on her face. The news that Edie was missing was both terrible and welcome at the same time.

“Don’t worry,” Gabrielle told everyone. “I called some old friends of mine in L.A. They know people who deal with this kind of thing all the time.”

“What do you mean?” Bree asked. “What ‘kind of thing’ do you think this is?”

Gabrielle never got a chance to answer that question. At that moment, there was a knock on Susan’s front door. Susan made a quick apology to everyone before going to answer it.

After opening the door, she made a startling discovery. Michael Evans, the missing teenage boy she was just talking about, was kneeling on her front porch. He was obviously injured. He had a small blood soaked cloth in his right hand that he held up to his forehead. He was using the makeshift bandage to cover what must have been a rather large gash.

“Misses Mayer. I’m hurt real bad. Can we come in?” the young man asked in a pain-filled, but polite, tone as he slowly stood.

“Ohhh My God! Michael Evans? Is that you?” Bree asked from her chair. She instantly recognized the teenager’s voice. Mike and her son Jason had been friends since preschool.

‘Jason needs to meet the right people early’ was Bree’s parental motto and the Evans certainly were the right people. The Evans were prominent residences of Wisteria Lane years before she and Paul moved there; therefore Bree felt they needed to be watched closely. Back when she was new to the neighborhood, Bree tailed Mrs. Evans one morning to find out which daycare center she used. Upon discovering the school, she enrolled Jason the next day.


“Hi Mrs. Kamp.” The injured teen said from the door. He quickly turned his attention back to Susan. “Can we come in? Please!?”

Susan did not answer his request. After the momentary shock had worn off, she quickly stepped out onto the porch, grabbed the young man by his arm, and proceeded to pull him into the house, all without saying a word.

Something stopped her midway.

It was not Mike. He was not struggling in any way and she could move him easily. But, for some unknown reason, she could not get the young man pass the door. An invisible barrier prevented Susan from bringing him into her home.

Susan was also puzzled by his odd choice of words. Twice now, Mike asked could ‘we’ come in. It was a very strange thing to ask. He was the only person in sight.

“What!?” Susan questioned as she tried again. This time she put her arm around his waist. Again she failed to get the teenager through the door. By now, Bree and the others had left their chairs and were gathered on the opposite side.

“You have to let us in Misses Mayer. I'm hurt!” Mike’s voice was different this time. He was not the pleasant and respectful young man he was just a few moments earlier. Now his tone was very demanding with more than a hint of anger.

“I don’t understand. Of course you can come in but I can’t seem to....”

“NO!” Gabrielle shouted. “DON’T SAY ANYTHING! Let go of him Susan! Get back in the house! HURRY!!”

Gabrielle’s warning came a second too late. Mike had what he needed.

At that moment, Mike grabbed Susan by her neck and threw her into her house with inhuman strength. Susan went flying into her friends. Bree and Lynette were knocked to the floor while Gabrielle was quick enough to avoid the collision. Gabrielle watched Mike carelessly discard the bloody cloth as he confidently strolled into Susan’s home. There was no wound on his forehead.

Two other young men appeared behind him. Gabrielle recognized the new arrivals. One was the missing boy named Nick who lived down the block; the other was her gardener, and secret lover, John. After the trio entered the house, Mike slammed the door shut behind them.

“Hey baby! Did you miss me?” John asked as he walked over to Gabrielle. It was more a taunt than a real question.

“Ay Dios!” she said quietly before mouthing a silent pray. “I am so sorry John.”

“What are you sorry about?”

“I should have warned you when the others disappeared.”

“Warned me? About what?”

“The vampires.”

“Vampires?” he asked mockingly.

“Yes. The vampires. I use to live in L.A. I know all about vampires. I should have warned you. I should have told you not to go out at night. Now... Now you’re...”

“I’m what?”

“You’re dead.” Tears formed in her eyes as she said the words.

“Dead!? Do I look like a dead man to you!? I feel great! I’m more alive now than I ever was. In fact,” John’s face changed from its usual handsome features into a demonic visage of hard bumps and razor sharp teeth as he said, “I’ve never felt better.”

Gabrielle recoiled in horror at the sight of her lover turning into a vampire.

“You know baby, I was good before, but I can go all night long now. Come here! Let me show ya!”

The newly created vampire grabbed Gabrielle by the waist and pulled her toward him. She resisted as best she could, but it was no use. He wrapped his arms around her slim waist and attempted to give her a kiss. Gabrielle slapped his face as hard as she could, hurting her hand in the process, as she redoubled her efforts to free herself. John threw her on the dining room table. He reached under her dress and tried to forcefully remove her panties.

As bad as things were for Gabrielle, they were worse for the other women. While Gabrielle and John were having their little chat, the vampire known as Nick was busy feeding on Bree. He charged the devoted homemaker the second he got through the door. She put up a good fight, but again there was nothing she could do to stop the inhuman monster.

“BREE!” Lyn called out, hoping to distract the vampire from killing her friend.

It did not help.

Lyn felt powerless as yet another one of her close friends was slowly dying. This time it was happening ten feet away from her, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. Lyn hated feeling helpless. She was always terrified that the feeling would come over her and never go away. She quickly pushed the worry out of her mind.

Besides, her and Susan had bigger problems.

Mike, in full vamp face, was chasing Susan and Lyn around the living room. They threw vases, lamps, decorations, books and anything else they could get their hands on at the charging vampire. Mike easily dodged them all.

“Keep it up,” he told them both. “I like my food nice and warm.”

Mike decided that his dinner was warm enough. The young vampire charged the screaming women.

Mike pushed Susan to the ground causing her to bump her head on the coffee table before attacking Lyn. The undead beast wrapped its arms around the former executive’s chest and forced her head into her shoulder, fully exposing her neck. Mike was about to feed on her when a familiar voice startled the vampire.


Everyone stopped what they were doing. All eyes turned to the new arrival.

The voice came from the top of the stairs. Something about it scared the three vampires. It wasn’t incredibly loud, but it was powerful in a quiet kind of way, and it carried a very real sense of danger.

The voice was that of Julie Mayer, Susan’s teenage daughter.

“RUN BABY!” Susan yelled from her living room floor with a voice full of fear. “GET SOME HELP!”

“Mom?! You OK?!”


An odd thing happened just then.

Instead of doing what she was told, Julie ran down the stairs, stood in the middle of her living room and confronted the three vampires.

Julie was asleep in her bed when the fighting downstairs woke her. She had decided to go to bed early today because she had a big test tomorrow and she needed to get back some of her lost sleep.

Sometime in May of 2003, a weird feeling came over Julie. She was sitting in Mr. Greens’ Algebra class when she felt a sudden rush of power come over her. She told her mother about it when she got home, but the strange feeling never returned and nothing else happened. After a week, the incident was forgotten, and life went back to normal in the Mayer household. Until a few months ago.

For the last few months, Julie has been having trouble sleeping. Recurring nightmares about monsters and demons would constantly interrupt her slumber, waking her at all hours of the night. Kids at school, teachers, and neighbors she has known her entire life appeared to her in these dreams as hideously deformed demons.

Unbeknownst to her mother, the dreams would compel the youngster to take long walks in the middle of the night. For some unknown reason, these walks always included a trip through the local cemetery. Julie knew it would worry her mother if she knew about it, especially with all of the recent disappearances, so she decided to keep her nocturnal treks a secret.

Besides, even if her mother did know, it would not have made a difference. Whatever was compelling her to take those walks was something that was way more powerful than her. Julie felt this was something she had to do. The young girl could not stop herself, no matter how much she wanted to.



“It’s OK Mom. I can handle this.”

Julie said the words with such supreme confidence and poise they almost scared the three vamps into running away. That was a pretty impressive feat; it’s hard to look tough in bare feet, blue pajama bottoms, and an oversized powder blue t-shirt with the words ‘Party Animal’ printed across her chest.

As much as those words shocked the vamps, the sentence she just heard come out of her own mouth shocked Julie even more. Julie was never a timid person, but she wasn’t little-miss-tough-chick either. Now, for some unknown reason, she was suddenly talking like Xena.

For about a minute, the Mayer house was completely quiet. Everyone was frozen in place, anxiously waiting to see what would happen next.

The vampires were wondering if this girl, someone most of them knew when they were alive, could actually be as dangerous as she now seemed.

Lyn and Gabrielle watched with stunned amazement, could Susan’s daughter really save the day, or was this just some sort of ruse?

Susan was too busy being terrified for her daughter’s life to think anything.

And then there was Julie herself. As she stood in the middle of her living room surrounded by vampires, she wondered what the Hell was she going to do now.

Mike was the first to make a move. The vampire dropped Lynette and charged Julie.

Julie Mayer has always been a typical teenage girl. She was smart, but no one would classify her as a genius; she got good, but not great, grades in school; she was always mildly popular, but she never achieved Homecoming Queen level popularity; she has always had her mother’s good looks, but, by her own admission, she wasn’t beautiful enough to be a cheerleader; and she has always been fit, but she was never what anyone would call athletic. Out of all of these things, the main thing Julie Mayer was not was a fighter.

A few years ago, a girl named Charlie teased her about her parents getting divorced. Julie countered the girl’s insult with a verbal assault that implied Charlie was not a human, but that she was, in fact, a female dog. Then she alleged that Charlie’s parents were never married at the time of her birth. This led to a two-minute long physical altercation that included several badly thrown punches and an intense hair-pulling session that was quickly ended by the school security guard. To this day, that was the first, and only, fistfight the teenager has ever been in.


Julie sidestepped the charging vamp with ease. She nailed Vampire Mike with an elbow in its lower back as it sailed passed her, causing Mike to stumble and fall to the floor. Nick stopped feeding on Bree. The recently created vampire charged Julie. He threw a straight right hand at her jaw. His punch hit nothing but air. Julie dodged his attack and countered with a punch of her own.


On the night Nick crawled out of his grave, his hunger was intense. So intense that it made him disoriented, causing him to stumbled out onto a nearby highway. A car going 35 Mph hit him square in the legs. The impact knocked the newly turned vampire a good five feet into the air. When the driver stopped to help the former human, Nick feed on the man.


The impact of the car smashing into Nick that night was nothing compared to the power of the roundhouse right punch Julie just nailed him with. The blow sent him flying backwards into the armoire. The impact shattered the wooden antique.

John, who was focused on the fight, was not holding on to Gabrielle as tightly as he should have. The former model managed to quietly slip out of his grip. Sensing her escape, John was about to grab again her when Julie came running over. She grabbed John by the back of his shirt, and hurled him into the kitchen.

With John’s attention fully on Julie now, Gabrielle quickly ran out the back door. Susan and Lyn would have felt abandoned by their friend, if either one of them had noticed her departure. The ladies were too busy marveling at Julie’s incredible feats of newfound strength to pay attention to anything else.

Nick was up off the floor now. He charged at Julie with an animalistic snarl. He attempted a round kick aimed at her head, but again Julie dodged his attack. He tried a series of punch and kick attack combos next. All of them failed. Julie dodged or blocked every blow. After his last attack, Julie saw an opening. She noticed that Nick’s right foot was pointed to the left. Her newfound instincts told her this meant the vampire was going to attack with a roundhouse kick next, and that she should counter with a straight-leg kick of her own.

That was exactly what happened.

Nick tried his roundhouse kick and missed, leaving himself open to her counterattack. Julie kicked the vampire hard in his gut. Nick doubled over in pain and wrapped its arms around its stomach to protect the newly tenderized area. The impact caused the vampire to stagger backwards. Julie nailed Nick with a huge uppercut to the jaw, sending the vampire flying backwards. Nick landed hard on the floor on its back.

Julie turned to face John next, but Mike surprised her. The former football player nailed the young girl with a running tackle.

For all of his human life, Michael Evans had been learning how to tackle people. As a vampire, he retained all of his human memories. His newly developed vampire strength only added to his already impressive skills. Mike put both to good use.

The young vampire planted his shoulder directly into Julie’s ribcage. All of the air rushed out of her lungs as she and Mike both hit the floor hard. Mike quickly mounted the girl and attempted to bite her neck. Julie pushed her elbow into his throat to block the bite, but her newfound strength was waning. Having no formal training in hand-to-hand combat, the teenager girl was fighting more on adrenalin than skill. Fear and self-doubt were starting to creep in.

Out of the corner of her eye, Julie spotted a broken piece of wood with a sharp edge from the destroyed armoire. Going more on instinct then knowledge, Julie grabbed the sharp piece of wood and plunged it deep into the vampire’s chest. She missed the heart, but it scared the male vamp into rethinking its plan. As Mike stared down at the piece of wood in the middle of his chest, Julie was able to push the undead beast off of her.

“You missed,” Mike taunted as he rose to his feet. Julie quickly stood too.

For the second time today, time seemed to stand still as Julie, with heavy breath, burning lungs, aching muscles, a sweaty brow and a racing heart, found herself once again surrounded by snarling vampires, each waiting for an opportunity to attack. Her feelings of fear and self-doubt were growing stronger as the seconds ticked away.

The sound of the screen door slamming shut caused everyone’s attention to shift to the kitchen. Gabrielle came running into the room with a long, curved sword in her hands. Before Mike could react, Gabrielle made a quick two-handed slash with the sword that beheaded the vampire. Mike turned to dust right after his head bounced on the floor, then it too, turned to dust.

Watching their friend die took all of the fight out of Nick and John. The two vampires decided discretion was the better part of valor as they fled into the night.

Gabrielle stood frozen in the center of the room, trying to calm her nerves. Everyone stared at the former model in disbelief.

“Carlos bought this stupid thing last time he was in England,” Gabrielle explained in-between heavy breaths. She released her grip on the sword, letting it fall to the floor.

“About time that man did something useful.”

Now that the combat was over, Julie quickly surveyed her home. The place was a mess. It looked like a bomb went off in her living room. She noticed her mother slowly rising from the floor. Julie ran over to her. She helped her mother to her feet while she examined the wound on mom’s forehead.

Mom was OK.

She was hurt, but it was minor. A Band-Aid and some rest and she would be good as new. The observation did not stop the young girl from worrying.

Julie scanned the rest of the room. Mrs. Scavo was OK too. She was leaning against the far wall rubbing her neck while she stared at the floor. Julie knew exactly what the former executive was feeling. Having a vampire’s teeth that close to your neck was traumatic to say the least.

Mrs. Solis was in shock. Tears ran down her beautiful face, as she stood rooted in the spot where she dropped the sword. She wasn’t looking at anything, or anyone. In fact, her eyes were vacant as she cried. She just stared straight ahead and let the tears flow.

Julie looked over at Mrs. Van De Kamp prone body. Her newfound instincts told her that her mother’s friend was dead.

Mrs. Scavo went over to Mrs. Van De Kamp. She turned the redhead over and checked her pulse.

“She’s gone,” Mrs. Scavo stated in a carefully guarded voice. It was all she could say.

The trauma of losing yet another close friend clearly showed on her face. Julie knew that losing a loved one to vampires was the worst thing in the world. She knew this because her new instincts told her. These were the same instincts that told her Mike and the others were vampires.

How did she know that? How did she suddenly become an expert on beings that, until today, she thought only existed in movies? And where did these newfound fighting skills come from? Half of her desperately needed answers; the other half was frantic not to know. Something told her that once she got those answers, her life would never be the same again.

The sound of police sirens in the distance shocked everyone to their senses.

10 minutes later...

Someone on the block must have called 911, because the police arrived several minutes after Mike’s break-in. They were too late to catch John and Nick, but that was a good thing. The local PD was ill equipped to handle the teenagers turned vampires.

An ambulance was called for Bree, but it was too late. She was pronounced dead at the scene by the E.M.T.s.

Everyone in the room knew this was going to be trouble. No one was going to believe a story about missing suburban kids who turned into monsters, and that those same kids killed Bree and then tried to kill them, but a fifteen-year-old girl in her pajamas managed to fight them off with her bare hands. They could barely believe it and they saw it happen. The women of Wisteria Lane knew they needed a cover story, and they needed it fast.

“What’ve we got?” Detective Ed Tersago asked as he walked up to the Mayer home.

“A home invasion Sarge,” Junior Detective Michelle Robinson answered. “The house belongs to a Susan Mayer, she has a kid, Julie Mayer, same address. Neighbor across the street, one Martha Huber, saw three teenage boys rush the door and called it in. The women inside said they did not know their attackers, but the neighbor ID-ed the boys as Michael Evans, Nicholas Cunningham, and some other kid whose name she did not know. The first two have Missing Persons reports filed on them. The unnamed kid works for one Gabrielle Solis as a gardener. Cunningham and the other kid were seen fleeing the house on foot a minute or so before uniforms arrived. We’ve got units out searching for them now. Thing is, Evans wasn’t seen with them. Uniforms checked the house. It’s clean.”

“Number of victims?”

Robinson checked her notebook.

“Five total. Mayer, the kid, and two others, both longtime locals. Lynette Scavo and Gabrielle Solis.”

Detective Tersago realized that Robinson’s report only listed four names. That meant one of three things. One, Robinson came down with a sudden case of massive stupidity, -highly unlikely-; two, his partner was really bad at math, -he would have noticed that in the year or more they had worked together-; or three, there was a victim that did not make her list because he or she could not be interviewed.


Tersago already knew the answer, but he asked the question anyway. Procedure.

“One dead, the rest are OK.”

“M.E. here yet?”

“Still in route.”

Tersago entered the house. He walked over to Bree’s covered body and removed the blanket from her face.

“Who am I looking at?”

“Bree Van De Kamp. Used to live four doors down.”

“What’s her story?”

“According to her friends, married, but going through a separation. I’ve got Silvia pulling his record right now.”

“That’s odd,” Tersago stated. “She’s got blood in, and some around, her mouth. Have the M.E. type and bag it for study.”

Robinson wrote down her colleague’s observations while Tersago continued his investigation.

“Odder still...”

“What?” Robinson asked.

“You don’t need to be an M.E. to see that she bled to death. Her body is pale as bleach and she’s got two stab wounds in her neck.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“A person losing that much blood would make a pretty big mess. Only there isn’t a carpet stain. The smashed armoire in the living room, the broken lamps, the knocked over table, stuff all over the floor, a major fight took place here. But no blood.”

Tersago continued to examine the body, “Uniform response time?”

“10 minutes. Why?”

“Either they cleaned a massive blood stain *real* fast. Or...?”

“Or Mrs. Van De Kamp was killed somewhere else, and her body was placed here.”

“You’re learning Robinson. Where are they now?”

“In the kitchen.”

Tersago recovered Bree’s body before walking into the kitchen. As he looked at the four beautiful but clearly shaken females, he studied their faces. Twelve years on the force taught him how to read people well. His gut was telling him these women did not murder their friend, but things were not adding up.

Why would three kids from good homes with no criminal records suddenly turn into violent home invaders? Or worse murderers? Why would they lie about not knowing their attackers when the neighbor clearly ID-ed all three of the kids? Who really killed Mrs. Van De Kamp? Was this some stupid prank that went wrong? And what happened to all of the blood in her body? Was this case somehow linked to the recent rash of disappearances? And the big one, how did five unarmed females manage to fight off three healthy teenage males? These were the questions that plagued the veteran police detective.

He needed answers.

Wisteria Lane was a quiet community. Things like this were not supposed to happen here. These were big city problems. Things like this never happened before. Then three months ago, they started happening all of the time. Lately, they have become common occurrences. Tersago was starting to feel the pressure.

The City Council was fearful to say the least; the Mayor was furious; and the Police Commissioner was demanding answers that no one in the department could give him. Detective Tersago swore he would shed some light on these mysteries.

Tersago knew these three women and this teenage girl were the key to solving this case. The hard part was going to be getting the truth out of them. One way or another, they were going to talk. Either he was going to get the answers he needed, or there would be Hell to pay.


A/N 2: This fic is currently stalled. It will not be a recurring series, but I promise you I will finish the story (or at least give it an acceptable conclusion) at a later date. I am currently stalled on almost everything. Sorry.

The End

You have reached the end of "Desperate Times". This story is complete.

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