Food for thought- Sorry for the short post
Fic: Dual employment 2
Rating: 15, femslash, torture
Category: BtVS/Stargate crossover
Summary: USMC Gunnery Sergeant Alexander L Harris has two jobs. One is a secret assignment to SGC, the other an even more secret assignment as 'liason' with the Scoobys. The two jobs coincide at unexpected times.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters here except for Xanders teammates. I am not profiting from this in any way.
Authors note: Sorry for the short post, I have been staring at this section since a few days after the last post unable to get further. I hope my muse will co-operate now!
Feedback: Please be kind, my muse has been highly unco-operative of late and I need positive re-inforcement.
Casa Summers, a few minutes after the end of part 1
The day the future Gunnery Sergeant Alexander Lavelle Harris's life really changed was when he discovered he was a god. Or rather when it was proclaimed most high by his peers that he was a god. He had it seems, either been born with or acquired a skill almost beyond comprehension.
More miraculous than the miracle of the loaves and fishes.
More amazing than being able to open portals to other dimensions with only a few newts eyes, some dried Troll mucus and a some words in Aramaic.
The greatest miracle anyone had every heard rumors of was produced while on his first field maneuvers by the former Zeppo. He turned MRE's into something people who had not been on starvation rations for the previous six months ACTIVELY LOOKED FORWARD TO EATING!!!
MRE means Meal Ready to Eat. This is sometimes referred to as an example of three lies in as many words, which is slander. They will in fact prevent you from starving to death, or even getting vitamin deficiencies. It is simply that given the choice of eating them or dying slowly of starvation and vitamin deficiencies most sane people would choose hunger. Meals Rejected by Ethiopians is an alternative name sometimes given to them. And Xander turned them into actual, no fooling, genuinely mouth watering meals. Peoples, or at least Marines, mouths actually watered.
He was proclaimed a culinary god on the spot and managed to avoid an inordinate amount of latrine digging, guard duty, and other unpleasantness as a result. Of course this was kept a greater military secret than the launch codes for Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles by his fellow Marines, rightly fearing his transfer to some Generals quarters somewhere if word got out. It was a pleasant memory he brought out to review in less than pleasant situations. Such as the current one.
“I'm at a birthday party sir, we all are actually.” He was holding the phone a little away from his ears to avoid hearing loss.
“Its on my leave application form sir, Sunnydale Califor...”
More shouting on the phone.
“Yes sir, I'm aware its SOP to report in ASAP, that's what I'm doing now sir.” General Hammond was not happy.
“How did we get here without you knowing? Well I really can't tell you that without clearing it with my contact at SOCOM.” The quiet tone of the response was almost more frightening than the shouting.
“Yes sir, I'm aware of military protocol but it's really compartmented.” And the response was not as bad this time.
“Yes sir, it has to do with the 'outside work' I do with Teal'c sometimes.”
Another delay for a response.
“Oh and sir, you might want to check for an outbreak of distention among the Jaffa, it has to do with how we got here.” The response was almost at normal levels and tone now.
“Teal'c might be best to...” Gunnery Sergeant Harris listened for a few seconds before responding. “Honestly sir? Yes I believe it may be vital to the whole course of the war sir.”
SGC Briefing room, same time.
Hammond put the phone down and took a second to calm himself before going back to the debriefing. SG1 was around the desk, as was Major Davis, the Pentagon Liaison. Who was going to be doing some fast talking and serious negotiation before all this was over. The Texan gave an order to have the Tok'ra contacted about the possibility of heightened Jaffa rebelliousness before resuming the conversation where the phone call had interrupted it.
“So Teal'c, at this point you zatted the three individuals in question.”
“Yes.” The former First Prime of Apothis responded, talkative as ever.
“Right there in front of Mr Lucas and every one of the convention goers waiting to hear him talk.”
“Teal'c, why were you carrying a Zat at a Star Wars convention?”