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Summary: Responses to the Fiction For All. Currently holds Pairings #31, #54, #333, #514 and #563

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Multiple Pairings > Ficlet Collections - FFADizzyflowerFR1358,557072,82329 Nov 0418 Dec 04No

The Glorified Pest Killer and the Destroyer [Connor/Luna Lovegood]

TITLE: The Glorified Pest Killer and the Destroyer
AUTHOR: Dizzy Flower
PART: 1/1
PAIRING: Connor/Luna Lovegood
SUMMARY: The Destroyer comes face to face with Luna Lovegood, now a ‘glorified past killer’ when they try to find the same demon.
DISCLAIMER: BtVS and Angel belong to Joss Whedon. Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling.
A/N: This is my answer Pairing #54 for the FFA. Enjoy!

The Glorified Pest Killer and the Destroyer

They’d met in America. Luna had been over there on an assignment for the Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, where she’d been working for the last few years. The assignment was quite simple, so after she’d made sure that the Erkling was under control she decided to nip into a diner and grab a bite to eat before heading home to Christmas Eve dinner with Hermione, Ron, and their brood of four kids.

Neutralising the Erkling was an easy matter, and as she ate her burger (with a little picture of Father Christmas stuck into it) Luna wished the American ministry had called them in earlier. Apparently a German backpacker had brought in the child-killing creature thinking it was a garden gnome, and after it escaped it went on a rampage through Los Angeles. Two children had been eaten by the time the American Ministry called in Luna, as they were unused to dealing with such creatures. And so Luna had Apparated across the pond as quickly as possible, where she rooted out the Erkling using a detection spell and then stunning it.

It was quick, easy, and rewarding, but when Luna had joined the Department it hadn’t been the work she was expecting. She wanted to travel the world, finding new species and documenting their habits. A glorified pest killer was not how she had envisioned her future, and it was certainly not how she wanted to spend the rest of her life.

Luna gave a deep sigh as she poked the limp looking salad left on her plate. Muggle food always looked so unappetising. At least when she ruined a meal she could alway place a glamour spell on it to make it look appealing. She took a bite of the soggy lettuce before looking at her watch. The hand on her watch was quite obviously pointing at, “By Golly! You’d better get a move on!” but for some reason Luna just didn’t feel like leaving. All she had to look forward to at home was probably saving someone from something that they could’ve handled themselves had they bothered to think.

Just last week she’d been called to a home in North Wales, trying to rescue an elderly witch from what she thought was a Sphinx but turned out to be someone’s tabby gone wild. No, decided Luna, she’d rather sit in this shabby Muggle diner and eat a soggy salad than chase after some poor animal that didn’t know any better. Plus, most of the people she helped would probably be better off dead anyway. Why, last Wednesday she’d almost left Malfoy to his grisly demise after his pet Kappa attacked him, but it was only the thought that the Kappa would probably be poisoned by Malfoy’s blood that stopped her. She wasn’t going to let an innocent creature die if she could help it.
But she did need to get home for the Christmas Eve dinner. Hermione had cooked food and everything. She’d gone all out, and even sent a little singing invitation. Luna had had to destroy it, though- Rudolph the Ren Nosed Reindeer had been stuck in her mind and she had no other way of getting it out other than to destroy the source.

“We were so close,” somebody in the booth next to her said loudly.

“I don’t understand,” came another voice, male as well but English. “The spell said that the Erkling was right there! Where did it go?”

Luna stiffened. Spells? Erklings? She swallowed the salad that was in her mouth and listened carefully. It was hard to hear over the loud Christmas carols that were coming from the diner’s radio, but Luna managed to pick out most of their conversation.

“Do you think it escaped?” The first voice continued. “It could have gone after some more kids.”

“God. I hope not. Especially on Christmas Eve.”

Luna pursed her lips thoughtfully. These people were obviously wizards, or else used to dealing with magical creatures. That didn’t mean they were on Luna’s side, though- a few times in her career she’d come across people who were more than happy to use things like Erklings for their own gain.

“At least Fred found out how to kill it,” said the first voice, and Luna’s eyes widened slightly. “All we need to do now is find it, and soon before it interrupts someone’s party.”

Luna decided to intervene. These people sounded as if they were working on the same side as her, and no matter their dubious methods for dealing with creatures she didn’t want them wasting their time looking for something that didn’t exist. Luna slid out of her seat and walked around to the next booth. As she stood she got a good look at the men sitting next to her. One was a man in his late thirties. The second speaker, Luna decided instantly. The other speaker was younger, around Luna’s age. He was slightly ambiguous looking, but Luna felt a prickle at the back of her neck that told her not to underestimate him.

“Excuse, me, but I couldn’t help overhearing part of your conversation,” said Luna, and both men blanched, looking wildly at each other.

“We’re talking about the latest videogame,” said the older one quickly. “AI and the…Erkling. Yes, AI and the Erkling.”

Luna tried to control her laughter, but some of it bubbled over. “Don’t worry,” she said, in between giggles. “My name is Luna Lovegood, from the British Ministry of Magic’s Department for Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.”

“Ministry of Magic?” The younger one repeated, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes,” said Luna crisply. “The Erkling you were searching for is now under control, so you needn’t waste time searching for it.”

The was a short pause. “Thankyou,” said the English one slowly, looking a bit baffled.

“You’re welcome,” said Luna pleasantly, and turned around to leave.


Luna turned on her hell and gave the younger man who had spoken an enquiring look. “Yes?”

His voice unsure, he continued, “I was wondering…that is, if you don’t mind…would you like to sit here with us and explain a bit more? My name’s Connor, by the way, and this is Wesley Wyndham-Pryce. I know it’s Christmas Eve, but…” He indicated the man next to him.

Luna blinked, surprised. No-one had really taken an interest in her work before. And Hermione and Ron wouldn’t miss her anyway. “Sure. Why not?” She answered at last, and slipped into the booth next to Connor. “So, what line of work are you two in?”

They explained quickly but clearly. Luna had heard of Angel, of course, and learnt about him in Seventh Year Defence Against the Dark Arts, but she hadn’t known that he ran a detective agency. As Wesley continued to outline what Angel Investigations did exactly, an idea began to form in Luna’s mind.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” she said suddenly, “This will seem terribly forward of me, but…”


“Duck, Luna!” Connor’s voice rang through the air and Luna ducked obediently. Overhead she heard the whir of an axe as it flew through the air above her. A moment later the axe clattered to the ground as Connor ran the demon through with a sword.

“Thanks,” said Luna shakily, standing up slowly.

Connor shrugged as he inspected the demon with a boot. “What kind of a boyfriend would I be if I let a Kritnij demon decapitate my girlfriend?”

Luna giggled, and Connor allowed a small grin to cross his face. It disappeared quickly, however, as he noticed what his girlfriend was doing.

“Get away from it!” he commanded, pulling Luna away from the dead demon on the ground.

Luna gave an exaggerated sigh and slapped him on the arm lightly with her clipboard. “Connor, how am I supposed to document the habits of the Kritnij demon if you won’t allow me to get close to it?”

“Can’t you get information out of books?” Connor asked desperately. “I don’t like the thought of you being so near them. What if you get hurt? You almost did today.”

Luna shook her head at him. “Connor, I can’t get information out of books because I’m writing them. This,” she indicated Connor’s sword and the slain demon, “is an occupational hazard. And anyway, I don’t mind. I’ve always wanted to do this.”

Connor pouted and slung his arm around Luna. “I know, I know. I just worry about you, is all.” He gave his girlfriend a soft kiss on the cheek. “Now, how about you go back to studying that demon and I continue making sure you don’t get killed?”

Luna grinned playfully at Connor and looked back at the demon. Her face brightened as she noticed something. “This one has little ridges on its forehead! Perhaps it’s used to attract a mate, or maybe some kind of protective mechanism? But then why didn’t…”

As he listened to his girlfriend prattle on, Connor smiled. Life had never looked so bright.
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