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Not in Kansas Anymore

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This story is No. 1 in the series "XanderScape". You may wish to read the series introduction first.

Summary: Xander Finds he's not in Kansas Anymore

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > FarscapeTjinFR1365,56434036,15329 Nov 0427 Oct 06Yes

Not in Kansas Anymore

Xander is not in Kansas anymore.
I Don't own BtVS or Farscape
This is a Buffy/Farscape Fanfiction, as such it will have qoutes from Buffy and Farscape.


Xanderscape 2


Xander sat up at the base of the temple, holding his ribs. He stagged to his feet and blocked the flow of magic again.

Willow glared at the last obstacle to the pain ending. “You can’t stop this.” She growled as Xander just shrugs.

“Yeah, I get that. It's just, where else am I gonna go? You've been my best friend my whole life. World gonna end ... where else would I want to be?”

Willow sneered at her best friend for a second before responding. “Is this the master plan? You're going to stop me by telling me you love me?”

“Well, I was going to walk you off a cliff and hand you an anvil, but... it seemed kinda cartoony.”

“Still making jokes.” Willow growled as Xander took a step forward.

“I'm not joking. I know you're in pain. I can't imagine the pain you're in. And I know you're about to do something apocalyptically evil and stupid, and hey. I still want to hang. You're Willow.” Xander replied as he took another careful step foreword.

Growling now Willow clenched her fist and glared at her lifelong friend. “Go away Xander.”

“First day of kindergarten. You cried because you broke the yellow crayon, and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You've come pretty far, ending the world, not a terrific notion. But the thing is? Yeah. I love you. I loved crayon-breaky Willow and I love ... scary veiny Willow. So if I'm going out, it's here. If you wanna kill the world? Well, then start with me. I've earned that.”

“Go Away Xander.” Willow repeated with venom as Xander took another step closer.

"Sorry. Not going to happen. I love you Willow and that is not going to change." Xander said as he slowly reached out for her.

With a final thought Willow threw her hand out and caught Xander in the chest. “I SAID GO AWAY!”

With a small surge the form of her once Xander shaped friend disappeared leaving a stunned Willow alone.

Slowly the black in her hair and eyes bled out to return them to their normal color.

“Xander” she whispered as she slowly came to grips with what had just happened. “Oh goddess, what have I done.”


On a different plane two figures stare at the board in shock for several seconds before one breaks the silence. “That has… never happened before.” He said as he stared at the Knight that floated in the box of ‘Lost’ Champions.

“What should we do with him.” The second asked as he wondered what this meant for the future of this plane.

Thinking about it for a moment the first nodded simply before looking at his counterpart. “Did he succeed in stopping the witch?” he asked as the Small figure slowly turned from black back to white.

“Yes, she shall never again be swayed to the dark powers.” The second responded before looking up from the board. “What do you plan?”

Smiling for a second the first picked up the small knight and moved him over to another board. “We shall see if he is able to change the game here as well.”


John Crichton, IASA Astronaut and Intergalactic Fugitive stumbled down the hallway as he tried desperately to keep his balance. “What's with the rough ride? Moya need a tune-up or something?”

“Moya's pregnancy has drastically weakened her ability to starburst. Some minor turbulence is an unfortunate by-product.” Pilot responded in defense of the Leviathan.

“If this is minor, I don't want to see major.” Crichton grumbled as he continued his attempts at movement down the rocking corridor.

“It's not just the starburst, John. Moya's sensors are dimmed. We're practically flying blind.” Zhaan responded as she stood watch in command.

“I'm compensating for that.” Pilot argued as he tried to keep his focus on the important matters and defend Moya at the same time.

“All her systems are running less efficiently as well.” Zhaan Reported as she tried to make sense of the readout she was positioned over.

“She can't help it. Her child has first call on her resources.” Pilot said as he listened to Crichton as he complained about the baby.

Growling lightly Pilot entered the commands required to take them back to realspace. “We are to exit starburst. There is no reason for concern.” Pilot said as John muttered something about famous last words.


Xander saw a flash of white before he was staring at what appeared to be the arched roof of a room or chamber as he idly wondered why it was moving away.


Pilot finished the Starburst sequence moments before the heavy form of a Sebacean crashed into his console.

Jerking back in surprise Pilot’s first warning was a mental screech from Moya as the other ship entered her range microts before Crichton yelled.

“I see it” Pilot shouted as the mighty leviathan crashed into the smaller ship.

“Pilot, any damage to Moya?” Zhaan asked in concern as Pilot ran a full check on the systems.

“None detected, but the other ship has lost propulsion control. I'm employing the docking web to bring her aboard, Also I believe we have an intruder in my den, though he appears to be unconscious I would like him removed before he awakens.” Pilot said as several DRD’s pointed their weapons at the still form on his console.


Xander groaned as he slowly swam back to consciousness and heard low voices nearby as two people talked.

“What's her crime?” the first voice asked as Xander looked around the empty room he was in.

There followed what sounded to be either a short conversation, argument or mating ritual as two others made noises for several seconds before a large demon with a sword and a man with long white hair walked by followed by several small yellow metal bugs.

“Miha youta misusa likra watruka mana?” a voice asked as Xander stared out of the bars and tried to figure out what language they where speaking.

“Not yet.” The first voice responded distractedly.

Listening to anything else was broken up as one of the small bugs stung him briefly before retreating back into a small hole in the wall.

“ me.” A female’s voice pleaded after a quick wave of dizziness left.

“Chiana.” A mans voice said warningly as Xander quickly dubbed him Tall dark and sinister character number one.

“They won't tell you what I've done because they're embarrassed. wouldn't consider it a crime.” The woman pleaded again before T’das interrupted.

“But we do...and that's enough.” He said smoothly as Xander forced his way to his feet and held his head to keep it from rolling off.

“I beg you. I beg you for amnesty.” Xander heard her plead as the first voice came back.

“We're not a diplomatic ship.” The first man said almost sadly as Xander carefully walked over to the criss-crossed bars and looked through at his first view of T’das.

He was abnormally white with black hair and dressed like a demon summoner Xander had helped deal with once.

“Then use moral authority, please. What they're going to do to me is cruel by anyone's…” Her words were cut off when T’das touched his forehead and a high pitched whine was drowned out by the choking of the female in the next cell for several seconds before a hand grabbed T’das hand away from his forehead.

“What the hell do you think you're doing?” The first voice whispered angrily as Xander barely contained the urge to kill the white skinned man.

“Her behavior was inappropriate, which is why she wears a collar in the first place.” T’das said as if it explained everything.

“I don't give a damn if she was an axe murderer, Elvis. She was just talking to me.” The first man said as he let go of the pale man’s hand.

T’das stared at the first man for several seconds before responding. “You crippled our ship, endangered out lives, disrupted our plans. Are you now the arbiter of our justice system, as well?” he asked before walking away.

Xander waited several minutes before leaning up against the bars. “Hey, Hey are you alright?”

After several quiet seconds Xander heard slight movements before she responded.

“What the frell do you think? I’m handcuffed and in a cell with this collar on while I wait patiently to be mind frelled.” She said as Xander heard her shift around some more as she seemed to be trying to get comfortable.

“Well that seems to be par for the course.” Xander said as he leaned back against the door and tried to rerun the events of the past day. “The lover of my best friend was killed and my best friend went insane, ripped the flesh off the guy that did it before almost killing all my other friends, trying to end the world and sending me god knows where and when I wake up this big yellow metal bug stings me and runs off and then I’m listening to T’das torture you for no known reason.” Xander summed up before hearing the lady laugh.

They sat quietly for a few minutes before she broke the silence. “What did you mean T’das?”

Smiling Xander considered it for a moment before responding. “T’das stands for Tall Dark and Sinister, though in this case it’s probably Tall pale and Sinister but T’pas doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.” Xander said as he listened to her laugh again. “The name’s Xander by the way.”
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