Beware the Candy Cane
Disclaimer: Still don’t own the BtVS ‘verse. The Bond ‘verse belongs to Iam Fleming, Kingsley Amis, John Gardner, Raymond Benson and Charlie Higson (I think that’s all).
A/N: Pairing #72 – Spike and Q
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
Of all the things that Spike expected his newest victim to say, it wasn’t that. What ever happened to the day of “oh no, please don’t eat me!” or just wordless shrieks of terror?
“And why wouldn’t I?” he couldn’t help but asking.
“No particular reason…”
Well, that was more promising. Spike tipped the man’s head to the side when the gentlemen continued his sentence “… more like three particular reasons. One, your hand is dangerously close to by left-handed cuff link. Second, I still have a firm grasp on my umbrella, and lastly, I have a candy cane in my pocket.”
The man was obviously as batty as Dru. Hmm… would she want a new pet? ‘Tis the season, you know, and he still needed a good live present to go with the dolly he’d stolen earlier. Spike’s thoughts were abruptly terminated when he was sprayed in the face with a squirt of holy water. “Oh, bloody ‘ell!” he screamed.
“I warned you about that umbrella. Slight modifications to the standard issue, but quite effective. A wonderful little mix of holy water and pepper spray. Works on hooligans of any sort. Be glad it was just the umbrella. That candy cane packs quite a wallop.”
Spikes decided to cut his losses short, and stumbled out of the alley.
He missed the man removing his belt buckle and talking into it. “T? Good showing just now. The umbrella works splendidly. Recommeding immediate modifications for active agents. Didn’t get a chance to test the cuff links or the candy cane. Shall continue trolling for sample subjects. Q out.”