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Another psychotic Christmas begins

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Summary: Inspired by CharlotteB's TinyJewish Santa story. run away, or laugh yourselves silly. *grin*

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Comedy > Cast: Scooby GangcwolfFR1521,118041,8257 Dec 0412 Dec 04Yes

Kmart Psychosis

(my mind wouldn't leave it alone. Grin)

Charlie stood at his register in sporting goods and thought about his boss. She’d hired him. This was his first day, and he was already stressed.

Laughing kids in the toy section, screaming kids being dragged by the toy section, a red head standing underneath four inflateable balls that were floating in mid-air….

He blinked, then opened his mouth.

“Excuse me.”

He turned toward the one-eyed man while still in shock. The man was holding a golf club covered in something.

”A drunk man threw up…” Xander watched as the clerk ran away screaming.

Willow came up. “Xander, what did you do?”

”I just wanted to know if I could exchange the golf club.” He said sheepishly.

“It’s the customer service desk that handles it.”

“Oh.” He walked off while Willow just shook her head.

Giles sighed as he stood in the book section. Oh no, they couldn’t have the classics… say eighteenth century. Then he flinched as a mother walked by with her screaming three year old in tow.

“No honey, we can’t get that.”

”But I want it!”

Giles sighed. Then Andrew came up.

“Giles, can we get this.”

“No Andrew.”

“But it will be fun.”

“No Andrew.”

“But look at…”

”I said no!”

Andrew pouted. “Fine. I’ll ask Willow.”

Giles watched as he walked away.

The mother walked back by with her screaming child.

He looked at her. “They’re a handful aren’t they?”

“You have no idea.”

Giles adjusted his glasses as he looked toward the retreating Andrew. “Really?”

“Miss, we can’t let you wear lingerie out of the dressing room… even if you’re wearing something underneath that’s tastefull concealed.”

Faith grinned. “Oh come on, I want to surprise a friend.”

“Not when he’s all the way across the store!” yelled the exasperated employee.

Andrew walked by, and paused. “Faith….”

She winked suggestively.

Andrew blinked and walked back to Giles.

“Well, now you’ve seen him…”

“Oh that wasn’t the one I wanted to surprise.”

A harried father saw something out of the corner of his eye. When he turned, his wife slapped him.

Xander stood in line at the counter. In front of him were several customers. Behind him was a slightly tipsy man.

“Scuse me…”

Xander turned. “Yes?”

“Please, is that really yellow and purple? Or am I just seeing things.”

“It really is.”

“Oh.” The man covered his mouth, “Excuse me.” And ran off.

Xander rolled his eyes.

Willow stood in the gardening section and looked at all the plants. She hummed as she helped a few get a little healthier. She didn’t know that two employees had just come back from lunch. They cowered in a corner and watched the plants grow at a fast speed.

”There now, don’t you feel better?” She asked. Then jumped when a squirrel leaped out of the tree into her little spell.

Buffy fumed as she stalked through the grocery section. She’d gotten the cooking and eating utensils first of course.

“Where are they? They were supposed to help me!”

An employee turned the corner, saw her glowering face, and turned right back around and went the other direction.

”Every year, the same thing. Buffy goes shopping for kitchen supplies, while everyone else has fun.”

She paused her tirade and watched several people run by screaming followed by green tentacles with leaves growing on them.

Willow could be heard in the background. “CRAP!”

Buffy groaned.

They all gathered together at the register as the chaos occurred behind them.

The clerk stared blankly at them then started ringing up the items. “Paper or plastic?”

Giles looked around. “Plastic.”

The clerk packed everything up. “Have a nice morning.” Then he curled up in a ball on the floor and sucked his thumb.

Buffy and crew walked out into the morning light and went home.

The End

You have reached the end of "Another psychotic Christmas begins". This story is complete.

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