Another psychotic Christmas begins
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy, and I’m slightly loopy
(I just got finished reading CharlotteB’s “Tiny Jewish Santa Goes Ballistic” story. Need I say more)
Christmas revelers who had just lay down would have been shocked by the sight across town.
Outside the twenty-four hour K-mart, in a part of the parking lot where the video cameras couldn’t reach and people couldn’t see, a fight was breaking out.
Buffy looked over at Faith as she proceeded to stick an egg beater in the demon’s ear and twirl it around.
“Tell me again why we had to go shopping tonight? Is it so much to ask that we wait for daylight?”
“Well, it was on our way home from slaying.” Faith said as she smashed a watermelon over her opponents face.”
Xander was beating his about the head with a golf club. The squelching sounds were slightly audible. “Funny, I thought Christmas was supposed to resound with singing….”
Willow shook her head as she watched one demon run away screaming with a bread stick sticking out of its rear. She cast a spell and put it out of its misery. “It’s not Christmas yet.”
“So much for a slow evening with a book.” Giles said as he and Andrew watched the fight.
“I don’t think I want to cook anymore… at least not with those utensils.” Andrew then flinched as Faith shoved a fork in a particularly painful area on her dazed adversary.
“Well, I guess we had more weapons at our disposal during the big battle in Sunnydale than we thought….”
“Isn’t that the truth.”
“I wonder how it would have been different with kitchen utensils….”
Everyone including Buffy winced when Xander drove the club straight thru the creature’s right eye and out the other side.
Buffy shook her head after it was over. “Do we still have the receipts?”
Giles grinned in a vaguely Ripper style. “I think we do.”
“So what’s our excuse this year?”
A car full of drunken revelers drove by at that point. “Deck the halls with boughs of holly…”
Faith shrugged. “Drunk guy stumbled into it all, and left a mess?”
Xander nodded. “Works for me.”
Willow shook her head. “Poor employees, we knew them well.”
Giles adjusted his glasses. “Yes, how many quit after last years festive demon entrail decorations in Ladies wear?”
Xander grinned. “Can’t forget the literal hardware Blow Up in Automotive.”
Giles sighed. “Yes, Willow. Could you at least avoid trying to perform a spell to see how long the tires really last while in the store?”
“Oh come on, it was an accident. How was I to know that a random cat would run into the potion?”
Andrew spoke up. “We never did figure out where that came from.”
Ethan Rayne stood in the shadows across the way, and chuckled. “God bless us everyone, and Merry Christmas Ripper.” He walked away cackling.