Uh O.K. (Anya/Kyle Valenti)
Title: Uh O.K.?
Disclaimer: Let’s see, what do I own? I don’t own Buffy or her universe nor do I own Roswell or that universe. They belong to their respective creators who make all the money. Heck I don’t even own my house, the bank does so please don’t sue. All you’ll get is some pocket lint and a big black dog who is out of his mind most of the time. ( You’re welcome to the pocket lint if you want it).
Rating: PG (for swear words and innuendo)
Spoilers: None that I can think of
Pairing: Anya / Kyle Valenti FFA pairing #123
Summery: Kyle Valenti thought his life was weird. His life and his Christmas just got weirder.
Kyle Valenti watched the girl materialize out of thin air. In his surprise, he said out loud.
“Oh crap! Not another alien.”
The girl whipped her head around.
“Hi.” She said, as she looked him up and down.
“Uh Hi? “ Kyle said looking confused.
“You wouldn’t by any chance have seen a big blue guy, about 8 feet tall with 3 arms and horns hmm?”
Kyle’s mouth dropped open and he replied.
At that moment said blue guy came charging around with a roar. Kyle’s eyes widened as the beautiful blond turned around and started scolding the very pissed off giant.
“S’ Coshe. I told you if you started messing with Christmas, I was going to have to kill you! It’s the only mortal holiday I like. You have about five seconds before I zap you back to the Hell you came from.”
The Giant just roared again and began to charge at Kyle, who had begun to back up.
“I warned you,” said the girl as she raised her hand.
Kyle watched in astonishment as a purple swirly thing popped up behind the giant. Lightning shot from the fingertips of the girl and big blue guy flew, ass over teakettle, into the vortex, which then winked out of existence. The girl then turned towards Kyle dusting her hands off and said.
“Sorry you were in the middle of that. S’ Coshe really doesn’t like Christmas and I do. We go trough this every couple hundred years or so when he manages to get back to this dimension. Are you ok?”
“That’s good. Say, you’re really cute” The girl said looking him up and down again.
Kyle’s eyes just about bugged out of his head when she said nonchalantly.
“You look like you give really good orgasms.”
“Uh thanks?” His voice strangled.
“My name’s Anya. You want to have orgasms with me?”
“Neat.” She grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss as they winked out of existence.
Several hours later Kyle found himself back behind the Crash-Down with a dopey grin on his face. Liz came out the back door with a couple of trash bags in her hand, looked over at Kyle and said.
“Hey Kyle are you O.K.?”
“Uh huh.” He said.
“Well were having a pod squad meeting in about an hour. Are you going to be there?”
“See you then.”
Liz went back into the restaurant. Kyle started to walk away whistling ‘We wish you a Merry Christmas’ wishing all of his Christmases were this weird.