Belize City, Belieze
This is another crazy crossover story: BtVS meets Fox
Television this time. Buffy, Willow, Xander, Anya,
Tara, and Riley are the possessions of Joss Whedon and
Mutent Enemy, Inc. Temptation Island is the fault of
Fox Television. Otherwise, this story is copyright
2001 by Eric Jablow. All Rights Reserved. Oh, and rate
it PG-13 for language. Spoilers for Into the Woods and
Triangle. Some Riley-bashing.
Two men walked out of the city hospital; the man in the
lead was red with anger, and the one behind looked like
he just wanted to duck.
"God damn it, Fisher! Our chief hunk didn't pay
attention to the rules, had some of the local water,
and now he won't be out of the hospital for a week!"
"Boss, he'll be okay."
"He'll be okay! He'll be okay? I'm not okay. We film
tomorrow, and we're missing our chief stud! Dammit,
we've got a show to put on. Find somebody, and fast, or
I'm sending you back to the States in a rowboat!"
"Yes, Boss. I'll find somebody. You can count on me."
"A friggin' canoe!"
Fisher turned and walked up the street toward the city
center. "Damn reality TV," he thought. A couple of
blocks later, out of sight of the hospital and his
boss, he found a bar. "Too bad I can't get drunk." He
went in and bought a beer.
Fisher had been nursing his beer for a half-hour when
he heard a man order two beers from the bartender in
loud, broken Spanish. He looked up; there were a tall,
pale man and a average-sized, darker man. Both were
obviously fit, and both were obviously American. Only
an American would think that volume was a universal
He looked a bit more. Neither wore a wedding or
engagement ring, and neither had a briefcase or any
other signs of a job. Tourists. Perfect. And the girls
always go for the tall ones.
He took out his business card and walked over to them.
"Yes?" The taller man had a flat, midwestern, accent.
"Look, I'm an assistant producer for a new American
television show, and I'm in a bit of trouble here. One
of our performers got sick, and I'm looking for a
"What sort of show?" The other man had a Southern
"It's a new Fox show; It's a little like the opposite
of The Dating Game. We've brought a few dating couples
down here, and a few singles, we give the couples a
chance to see whether they really want to stay
"Typical Fox fertilizer." The tall guy again.
"Hey--you're the one who came down here to forget his
"Yes, I did, didn't I?"
"So, are the two of you interested?"
"How long do you need us, and how much are you paying?"
The Southerner again.
"Just a couple of days. And, ten thousand apiece.
Possibly a bonus if you and the others click."
"Why not, R.?"
"By the way, what are your names?"
"He's Graham, and call me Riley."