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Xander and the Snake

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Summary: A Challenge Response. Xander is possessed... Again...

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Xander-Centered
Television > MacGyver
TjinFR151413,88016175152,86910 Jan 057 Oct 08No

Xander and the Snake 14

O’Neill sighed as he tried to explain to his commanding officer what had happened in a way that wasn’t going to get him kicked out of the military for mental health concerns.

“… No Sir…

Yes sir we did have him, but he escaped…

He had help sir…

No sir it was, well, a girl sir…

That’s right, about sixteen we guess…

No sir, the Goa’uld was handcuffed by that point…

She beat us up sir…

Umm, all of us…

Then they just ran off. We searched for several hours before finding a viable recon point to…

Yes sir we did…

Double scoop of chocolate…

Hey it worked, we found him…

No sir we don’t have them they, sort of escaped again…

We were kind of distracted by the bullet proof gang members and large blue alien…

Yes sir I did say blue alien… he was blue, sir… he also had an energy beam that dintergrated several civilians…

Well… no sir we didn’t catch him either…

The Goa’uld showed up while we were dealing with the bullet proof gang members and…

That’s right… because we shot them…

Yes sir a lot…

Well they did, but then they got up again…

In all honesty sir, it seemed they wanted to bite us…

No sir I don’t think they were playing…

Because we were shooting them… well… they disintegrated when we hit them with a staff blast…

Teal’s has it sir…

The Goa’uld gave it to him…

I can try, sir, but I don’t think he’s gonna give it up anytime soon…

Well, Carter’s been trying to dismantle it for the last fifteen minutes. She’s interested to see how it disintegrates people instead of just blowing big holes in them…

I don’t know sir, she’s kind of morbid that way…

He’s still not giving it up…

I told him he had to sir. He said he would rather kiss Kronos…

I don’t get it either, but he’s still not giving it up…

What blue alien? Oh right, he disintegrated sir…

The Goa’uld did that…

Yes, but the staff didn’t affect it…

He gave it to Teal’c…

He seemed to use a hand device sir…”

--

Under a mountain halfway across the country, General George Hammond held his head as a migraine started to surface, “So what you’re telling me is that you have several humans that were disintegrated, an alien that disintegrated them and who was also disintegrated by another alien, and several abnormal, possibly alien humanoids, that can ignore being shot by a side arm, yet were disintegrated when shot by Teal’c, who is in fact an alien. Does that cover what you just told me?” Hammond asked in disbelief.

“Yes, sir. That pretty much covers it,” O’Neill responded unhappily.

“Well then, what happened to the Goa’uld, or did he disintegrate too?”

“No sir, I think he escaped when the semi-truck came through the wall.”

Hammond was desperately trying to figure out a response to that when a commotion on the other end of the lined interrupted the conversation for several seconds before O’Neill returned, “I’m going to have to call you back sir, I think we’re being threatened by a cheerleader with a crossbow,” O’Neill said hurriedly before the line went dead.

Hammond pulled the phone from his ear and stared at it for several seconds before returning it to the cradle and leaning back with a sigh. He really wished he knew how he was supposed to write this up for the president.

The End?

You have reached the end of "Xander and the Snake" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 7 Oct 08.

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