Disclaimer: I don’t own BtVS or PotC, or any of the characters or dialogue, and I make no profit from the manipulation of them. Isn’t the world sad?
Short Summary: Dawn jumps into the void, instead of Buffy. She winds up with the Pirates of the Caribbean.
Dawn grabbed Buffy and shot past her, jumping from the end of the tower into the seething, hellish miasma. Buffy stared for a moment in disbelief.
“No… Dawnie… DAWN!!!!!”
Captain Jack Sparrow was in a predicament. Trying to pick a lock with a bone, since the thrice-blasted dog was being uncooperative. “C’mon… please…” He cursed as the bone snapped, imbedding a small sliver into the fleshy part of his palm. “Son of a bitch!” The dog, who held the keys Jack so desperately needed, made an amiable sound of agreement from his spot across the jail. “Sod off, mongrel.” Sparrow shook his head in disgust. How was he to get himself out of this one? His bloody mutinous crew had taken off with his ship, and here he was stuck in some pit of a Port Royal cell, the only sturdily constructed one in the place, apparently, because the bloody commodore had had his one lucky day. God what he’d give for a bottle of rum. Didn’t even have to be the good stuff, so long as it fucked up as much of his brain as possible. He sighed. Fuck. He lay back in the dirty hay and closed his eyes, which explained why he didn’t see the sudden ripple, then rip, that occurred in the air directly above him. It also explained his complete and utter surprise at the lanky, dark-haired girl that was suddenly dropped upon his stomache.
“GAAAAGGHHH!!!!!!!” Sparrow flailed about, succeeding mostly in entangling himself moreso with the girl. Finally, after much thrashing about, he managed to heave the girl off and scoot himself across the cell, pressing up against the wall.
What the… how the fuck… where did she come from? What the bloody buggering hell was this?? The sprawled girl-child groaned, and drew herself in, shakily getting up on her knees. Her long brown hair covered her face from Jack’s sight.
“God… did anyone get the number of the truck that hit me….”
His surprise and confusion were not to be resolved anytime soon, as the whelp who’d gotten him into this mess came careening down the stairs.
“You. Sparrow!” William Turner didn’t notice the girl at first, focusing all his attention on the pirate. Jack collected his wits and looked at Turner, slightly dazed. “Aye?”
“You are familiar with that ship – the Black Pearl?”
“I’ve heard of it.”
“Where does it make berth?”
Sparrow looked at him incredulously. “Where does it make berth?” Then he laughed. “Have you not heard the stories? Captain Barbossa and his crew of miscreants sail from the dreaded Isla de Muerta. It’s an island that cannot be found except by those who already know where it is.”
“The ship’s real enough. Therefore its anchorage must be a real place. Where is it?”
“Why ask me?”
“Because you’re a pirate,” Will responded, as though that should have been obvious.
“And you want to turn pirate yourself, is that it?”
Turner got up against the bars, almost angry. “Never. They took Miss Swann.”
A muffled voice sounded, “Isn’t she the woman on Saturday Night Live?” Turner jumped and stared in amazement. “Or was that MADtv?” Captain Jack Sparrow held up his finger and nodded, as though remembering something.
“Oh yes. Could you do something about this girl? I’m not sure where she came from, but she is frightfully misplaced, I think.”
Dawn’s mind was as hazy as an L.A. skyline. All she knew was that she had one hell of a headache, someone was making an awful lot of noise, and the floor was really hard and prickly. Vaguely she realized that one of the noisy people was addressing her and she looked up. The sunlight streaming through the bars (bars??) hurt her eyes and she blinked several times, trying to focus on the speaker. Then she realized that the speaker was actually behind her, and she turned around. Whoa. Hottie.
“I asked you who you are, girl.” She blinked at him. Oh. Name. Yeah, she knew that…
Will sighed in frustration. “I don’t have time for this.” He turned back to Sparrow, who was watching Dawn curiously. Jack stated thoughtfully, “You know mate, if you want a girl, why go chasing after ghost ships when you’ve got a bird already in the cage?”
“Listen to me! I need your help.”
Sparrow shrugged. “Well, if you’re intending to brave all, hasten to her rescue and so win fair lady’s heart you’ll have to do it alone, mate. I see no profit in it for me.”
“I can get you out of here.”
“How’s that? The key’s run off.”
Key? Dawn’s mind grabbed onto that and tried to connect it with something relevant. Key... key... Blood… shallow cuts.... Spike... Buffy... It came back to her in small bursts. Oh god… she had done it! She had jumped into the portal and saved the world, averted the apocalypse… But wasn’t she supposed to be in hell now? Buffy… would she never see her sister again? No... Buffy.... Dawn whimpered.
Meanwhile the men had come to some sort of decision, and Will lifted the cell door from its hinges. “Hurry, someone would have heard that.”
Sparrow looked back at Dawn, who was rocking slowly back and forth. “Half a moment young Will, what about the girl?” William shook his head, “No time to worry about her, we have to get going.” Sparrow gave him a scandalized look. “What, there’s time for your girl, but not mine? Hah!” With that, he reached in and threw an arm under Dawn’s, hauling her to her feet. “C’mon pet, if y’know what’ s good for you.” He grabbed his things from wall and followed William out.