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Things No Longer Allowed To Do

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Ficlet(s)

Summary: Things the Scobies are no longer allowed to do

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
BtVS/AtS Non-Crossover > Comedy > Xander-CentereddragonfireFR1331,2911158,33630 Jan 0525 Feb 05No

Things Watchers are no longer allowed to do

A/N I couldn't think of more for them individually so instead of waiting and before my schedule gets busy again, here's an update

Things Wesley Is No Longer Allowed To Do:

I am not allowed to “Go to docks and shake daddy's little money maker for twenties stuffed into my undies”.

The following phrases can no longer be used when writing Watcher reports: necrophiliac, slut puppy, I hate everyone in this library and wish they were dead, and thrusting stakes.

The W&H security gate is not an Imperial Stormtrooper roadblock, so I don’t have to tell them, ‘You don't need to see my identification, these are not the droids you are looking for.’

I am not Glenda the good witch.

I shouldn’t ask operatives if they’re good operatives or bad operatives.

I am not to tell them I can make them good with my ‘stake’.

When captured by demons I do not have the right to a strip search.

It is wrong to get excited when the lead vampire tells his minion, ‘Have your way with him or I will.’

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Things Giles Is No Longer Allowed To Do:

Take off that hat.

No longer allowed to perform lap dances in tweed.

If I take the tweed off in the course of the dance, it still counts.

May no longer perform my now infamous ‘Barbie Girl Dance’ on the library table.

Or the cafeteria.

May no longer dance in public.

When I order younger Watchers to polish my shoes with Kiwi, it should have nothing to do with fruit.

Must not antagonize Snyder.

Must not call Snyder a ‘Wanker’.

I am not a ‘G Pimp Daddy’ as I am neither a pimp nor a daddy.

Fires to burn demon remains are not bonfires and I shouldn’t dance naked around them.

No dancing in the bell tower, especially in conjunction with number 4.

The proper way to report to the Head of the Council is, ‘Rupert Giles, Watcher, here as requested,’ not, ‘You can’t prove a thing.’

No part of the weapons cache should be edible.

My car cannot not transform into a giant battle robot.

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If you want to send my any of your ideas I'll put them up in the next update. Thanks for the reviews

The End?

You have reached the end of "Things No Longer Allowed To Do" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 25 Feb 05.

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