Title: "The Arrangement"
Disclaimers: They're not mine. 'Nuff said.
Category: Stargate SG-1 (and Atlantis?)/BtVS crossover
Spoilers: Stargate--"48 Hours"; BtVS--"Hells Bells"
Pairing: McKay/Anya; Xander/Anya and unrequited McKay/Sam implied
Note: Inspired by Medie's EVIL Random Pairing Generator O'Doom. (Which means, M, that this is All Your Fault!) I had to play fast and loose with the timelines of both shows to make this work, but I think I succeeded. *g*
Summary: When Rodney met Anya.
Okay, so she was blonde. That still was no good reason for him to be sitting here staring at her instead of drowning his sorrows in good Vodka--which was, by the way, the only good thing about being exiled to Prolsk or Volsk or whatever the hell this place was supposed to be called. It wasn't as if she reminded him of Major Carter, and besides, Major Carter was the one who'd gotten him dumped here so he wasn't exactly feeling kindly towards her right now. He was, however, feeling even less kindly towards himself because damned if he wasn't still attracted to her.
If she was stupid enough not to recognize a prize like him when she saw one, then the least he should do would be to stick his nose in the air and be completely over her by the time she finally came to her senses and came crawling back. Telling himself that was one thing, however; putting it into practice seemed to be something else entirely.
Oh who was he kidding? Women as gorgeous as her didn't go for guys like him, which was why he'd adopted the "you're not worthy" attitude in the first place.
Hence the drowning his sorrows bit. And the staring at the blonde two stools down as if he actually had a chance. And the fact that he'd just admitted that to himself was one of the few *bad* things about good Vodka. "In vino veritas" but "in vodka veritas unpleasantas" or whatever.
"I wish you'd stop staring at me like that," the woman addressed him crossly in perfect American English, her voice knifing through his sulk. "It makes me want sex when I'm trying to wallow in misery about being left at the altar, and I think that's very inconsiderate of you."
Dr. Rodney McKay almost choked on his vodka. "Excuse me, did you just say you want to have sex with me??"
"No," she replied impatiently. "I said you looking at me like that makes me want to have sex. I want to have sex with Xander, but Xander left me at the altar."
Rodney winced at the blunt reply, then scowled. So much for that idea.
"Although..." The blonde cocked her head to one side and squinted at him. "You do bear an extremely slight resemblance to Xander, mostly around the midsection. It's possible that if I get drunk enough, I might be able to pretend that you're him."
"Oh, gee, thanks," McKay shot back. "It's so nice to know you consider me a step above a sex toy."
"My sex toys are all back in Sunnydale," she sighed regretfully, staring at the glass in her hands. "And since at the moment I'm only allowed to teleport for busines...somehow I don't think D'Hoffryn would consider that business, even if it is very, very important." This with another little pout.
This was not helping his mood nor his temper any. Nor was the fact that the little lady was apparently insane--teleporting without a ring transporter or help from the Asgard? And "only for business"? Yeah, right.
"You do realize this is not exactly the best way to convince me to agree to this little plan of yours?" Okay, now that must be the vodka talking--did he just turn *down* a gorgeous younger woman who'd expressed an interest in sleeping with him...and on *principle*? "Wait a second, what am I saying? I'm stranded in the middle of nowhere surrounded by nothing but Russian women who have probably never even heard of shaving their legs... I wouldn't turn down an offer like that if you told me you thought my toothbrush was sexier than I am."
Besides, it wasn't as if he wouldn't be pretending it was someone else too.
As if remembering manners he'd begun to wonder if anyone had ever taught her in the first place, the blonde stuck out a hand. "By the way, I'm Anya. Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins."
McKay accepted the hand, swallowing hard. "Rodney McKay."
Anya smiled brightly. "So, it's settled then. You'll buy me several more drinks since I left most of my money safely back in Sunnydale, and then we'll move on to drunken sex."
Rodney stared at her for a moment before turning back to the bar and downing the rest of his vodka in one gulp, then ordering another round for both of them.
He had a feeling he was going to need it.