Title: Full Moon Rising
Rating: 21 over all
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Wish I did but I don’t. BTVS belongs to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy and Anita Blake belongs to Laurell K. Hamilton.
Distribution: Take it if you want it. Just email me first.
Summary: Xander starts a new life and he learns something new about himself.
Feedback: Love it!
Spoilers: BTVS: season 6 and AB: NIC
Author Note: Warning this is a SLASH story. For the purpose of this story Buffy and company are aware of the outside world (the Anitaverse) and everything that applies. Angel, Spike and the rest of the vampires that live on the Hellmouth are a sub breed of animalistic vampires. They are a different breed of vampires from those depicted in the Anitaverse and the Slayer is part of a special task force trained to handle the odd occurrences that pop up on the Hellmouth.‘Italicized words with single quotation marks indicate thoughts.’
Thanks MistressAshley for the awesome story art.
Xander stared despondently at the empty glass in his hands, completely oblivious to the loud music that played relentlessly in the background. He had come into the club hoping that the loud music and alcohol would finally drown out the depreciating voices in his head. But it wasn’t working and his thoughts were filled with self-hatred and regret. Xander had finally done it. He had left Anya at the altar and all he could think about was how hurt she’d looked when he had told her that he couldn’t marry her.
It had all started innocently enough. The first inkling of doubt had reared its ugly little head during the whole singing fiasco when Xander had unintentionally raised the demon called Sweet. But instead of going away the feeling grew until it was almost overwhelming and Xander began to feel trapped. He felt like Anya was just using him to meet some crazy notion of what she had deemed as normal human behavior. According to her getting married was just the next step, a natural progression in a normal human relationship from dating to marriage. Xander felt used and he was beginning to resent her for that.
Finally he had enough when a demon seeking revenge showed up on their wedding day and gave him false visions of their future together. He watched in horror as his future self yelled at Anya and struck her with a frying pan. Even though the visions had all turned out to be an illusion they felt real and to his utter shame it could still happen. The bitterness, the hatred and the violence was all there just underneath the surface and the demon didn’t have to look very far to find it.
Xander was so afraid that he would hurt Anya one day and he never wanted to do that. He was afraid that the part of him that was still hyena would one day lose control. He’d never told anyone that he remembered being possessed by a hyena’s spirit and years later it was still there. He could still feel her now, buried deep within his soul. He had hid it from his friends because by the time he figured it out much of what the hyena was, was now apart of him. The spirit hadn’t just possessed him she had become him. She was his id, the very manifestation of all his dark desires and primal urges. For years the hyena spirit laid dormant somewhere deep in his subconscious, but lately whenever Xander was emotionally distressed or agitated she would stir and he found it difficult to regain control.
So he left to protect Anya and the people that he loved. He had left Sunnydale that very same night and hadn’t stopped running since. Two months later Xander had found himself in a strange city, in a strange club miles and miles away from home. He’d left a message for Willow over a month ago telling her that he was okay. Other than that he hadn’t contacted anyone from Sunnydale because he was too afraid that they would try to convince him to come home and considering the way he was feeling right now he just might listen.
He’d never realized how much he would miss his friends until they were gone from his life. They were his family and his life felt empty without them. So when he came across the club, Danse Macabre, during one of his aimless walks Xander decided to go inside, hoping that he would find someone to ease his loneliness.
Coming to the club proved to be a mistake. Sure the club was lively enough but seeing all those people having a good time only reminded him of all the times he’d spent goofing around with his friends and he just couldn’t bring himself to ask any of the women to dance. It felt wrong, like he was cheating on Anya somehow. So he just sat there nursing his drink and watching everyone else have a good time. Xander felt like a complete loser; but he stayed anyway because anything was better than going home to an empty hotel room with nothing to keep him company but his thoughts and right now even they weren’t much company either.
Xander watched the dancers on the floor gyrate to the sound of the music but only one of them caught his eye. The guy looked no more than twenty years old. His long dark auburn hair was pulled from his face by silver clasp and allowed to fall freely down the small of his back. His face was more pretty than handsome with high cheekbones and a pointed chin. But that wasn’t what caught Xander's attention. No… it was the way the guy moved. His body moved with such grace it was as if he was under water. He had a content expression on his face as his body moved to the beat of the music, eyes closed. His hands were held high above his head as his lean hips swayed to the music with complete abandonment. He was like poetry in motion, almost hypnotic and Xander couldn’t seem to pry his eyes off him. He was absolutely beautiful and that thought startled Xander somewhat. He shouldn’t be thinking that guys were beautiful. He was straight, but there was just something seductive about the way the guy moved that made Xander shift uncomfortably in his seat. ‘Man I must be really desperate if I get all hot over a guy,’
thought Xander in bewilderment.
Then suddenly their eyes met across the dance floor and soft brown eyes met with almond shape lilac eyes. Xander was surprised. He had never seen eyes like that before and he hesitated. They held each other’s gaze for a brief moment until Xander dropped his eyes to the table in embarrassment. But Xander kept watching the beautiful young man dance through hooded eyes.
Xander’s heart pounded erratically against his chest. He was so confused. The very idea that he was attracted a man was both scary and exciting. Xander tore his gaze from the dance floor and began to nervously shred his napkin into little pieces as he recited a running mantra over and over in his head. ‘I am not gay. I am not gay. I am not gay.’
Xander was so distracted by his inner monologue that he didn’t notice the young man walking towards him until he stood right in front of his table.
“Hello,” greeted the stranger quietly.
“AH!” screamed Xander as he clutched his chest. “Don’t do that!”
”Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” apologized the young man earnestly.
“No…No. You didn’t scare me. You just surprised me a little,” denied Xander in embarrassment for screaming like a little girl.
“Oh… okay. Um…my name is Nathaniel by the way,” muttered the wereleopard shyly.
Xander offered Nathaniel his hand. “Well hi Nathaniel. My name is Xander.”
Nathaniel took his hand timidly, pulled it to his nose and sniffed it. At the bewildered expression on Xander’s face Nathaniel quickly dropped the older man’s hand and placed his behind his back.
“Um…Um Xander, I saw you watching me and I was wondering if you wanted to dance?” asked Nathaniel timidly. Normally he wouldn’t be the first to make a move but he’d caught Xander watching him across the room and there was just something about his eyes that drew Nathaniel to him. After some badgering from Jason, Gregory and Stephen he had finally decided to ask him if he wanted to dance.
Xander looked at Nathaniel as if he’d grown a second head. ‘Did he just ask me to dance? But…but I’m a guy,’ thought Xander in confusion. He was straight; and, he had never even looked at another guy in that way before, well at least not until tonight. “But you’re a guy!” blurted Xander in shock.
“I…I’m sorry. I…I thought...you were interested. Sorry to bother you,” whispered Nathaniel disappointedly as tears welled in his beautiful lilac eyes.‘Ah Damn it. I hurt his feeling. I’m such an ass,’
thought Xander in self-reproach. He didn’t mean to say it like that. Nathaniel just surprised him. He didn’t mean to hurt the little guy’s feelings and to be honest he was a little bit curious.
“Wait! I didn’t say no. Just give me a minute,” yelled Xander as he caught Nathaniel’s arm just as the wereleopard turned to leave. ‘Oh what the hell,’
“Okay. Let’s boogie,” agreed Xander reluctantly as he literally dragged Nathaniel to the dance floor by his arm.
At first the dance was awkward. Xander was nervous. It felt kind of weird dancing with another guy. He didn’t know how to move or who should lead. As if he was reading Xander’s thoughts Nathaniel placed his hands over Xander’s shaky hands and guided them to rest on his slender hips. Once Nathaniel was satisfied with their positions he shifted so that he could wrapped his arms around the taller man’s neck.
Xander’s face flushed when he realized just how close Nathaniel was. He stared over the top of Nathaniel’s head, eyes wide, trying hard to ignore the warm body against him. But soon their bodies melted into each other as they swayed to the sound of the music. Their bodies were hyper aware of each other and for some reason they couldn’t seem to get close enough as they pressed their bodies against each other. Nathaniel laid his head against the dark-haired man’s shoulder and sighed in contentment. Xander shivered when he felt Nathaniel’s warm breath against his neck.
What the hell was wrong with him? His mind kept screaming at him that he was straight, that he wasn’t attracted to Nathaniel’s slim hard body, but his traitorous body kept telling him something completely different. He was definitely attracted to the young man if the tightness in his pants was any indication. Xander’s mouth went dry. He cleared his throat, swallowing hard, then lean forward to whisper Nathaniel’s name huskily into his ear, slightly brushing his lips over the shell of his ear.
Nathaniel lifted his head from Xander’s shoulder and his shiny lilac eyes peered into searching brown orbs. Xander stared at the young man’s face as if he was seeing something that he hadn’t realized before. A warm feeling spread through Nathaniel’s body and he blushed under the other man’s scrutiny, but he didn’t dare break eye contact. The wereleopard licked his dry lips in anticipation and Xander’s eyes darken with desire as he stared at Nathaniel’s moist lips. He leaned down so that his face hovered just inches from Nathaniel’s and hesitated for an instant before he closed the distance, gently brushing his lips over Nathaniel’s soft warm lips. The kiss sent a shockwave of pleasure down Xander’s spine and he deepen the kiss, kissing Nathaniel passionately.
Xander tangled his fingers in Nathaniel’s soft silky hair and held his head in an unyielding vice-like grip as he used his tongue to plunder the young man’s mouth. Nathaniel moaned into his mouth and the sound sent shockwaves of pleasure straight to his groin. Xander wanted Nathaniel like he’d never wanted anyone before. The primal urge to claim this man was overwhelming and it overrode any doubt or reservation that Xander had. Some how Nathaniel had stirred Xander’s beast and she wanted out now. He tore his lips from Nathaniel’s sweet mouth and growled.
AN: Okay I was thinking about leaving this as an one shot story. But if enough people show interest I might continue it.