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All things considered, I’d rather be in Cleveland…

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Summary: What If Xander had a Seat on Oceanic 815

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Television > LostBeachEngineerFR181025,08045629,89525 Feb 0520 Jul 06No

All things considered, I’d rather be in Cleveland…

All things considered, I’d rather be in Cleveland….

Author: BeachEngineer -

Rating: TV-MA (18)

Setting: Post Season 7; cross over w/ Lost. I’m not going to flashback to anyone other than Xander in this Fic. Island events will change to incorporate Xander, but I’m going to try to keep all other character flashbacks as same as the show. Hopefully you have a passing knowledge of the show “Lost”, as I’m not going to dive too much into explaining who people are.

Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine, they belong to the Mutant Enemy and Bad Robot production companies, respectively. With two companies named like they are, how can you not expect them to be crossed in a fanfic?

Part 1 –


Lying on his back, Xander reached up and rubbed his face, lifting the patch to rub his injured eye.

“I didn’t drink anything. Why do I have the mother of all headaches?”

Xander lay there rubbing his face, and in the process pushed up his ever-present eye patch.

The itch was the one thing he had yet to get used to, ever since Caleb’s thumb had blinded him several months prior. Xander scratched lightly at the covered eye. Everything looked fuzzy, Xander blinked and slowly things came into focus.

“Ok, blue sky & a palm tree. Not exactly what I was….Wait a minute, I can see!”

Snapping out of his dazed half asleep state, Xander bolted upright to a sitting position began to run his fingers over his once damaged eye.

“Scar is still there, but I can see, What the hell?!?!? I’m dreaming. That’s got to be it.”

Taking a moment to looking around Xander found himself lying on a beautiful beach with the ocean waves gently lapping against the shore.

"Yup, dreaming. That explains the tropical each too. Except… if it’s a good dream there really shouldn’t be pain…there should be naked island girls bringing me banana daiquiri’s.”

Further down the beach he saw a woman who looked like she was crying, but wasn’t making any noise. Xander then realized that there was absolutely no noise at all.

“Great, why can’t dreams be simple, I can see, but now I’m deaf...’

Removing the eye patch, Xander got up & staggered toward the woman.

The woman, a blonde in her mid-30’s, Xander guessed, was just sitting there, staring out at the ocean.

“Are you all right?” Xander asked as he approached.

Getting no reaction from the woman, he spoke louder.

“ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?” he shouted. Slowly he felt his hearing return, like after being at an all night rock concert.

The blonde woman looked up at him, with a blank expression on her face, tears streaming down her cheeks.

“Are you all right?” Xander repeated, “Man this is one weird dream.”

Not responding to his question, the woman slowly turned her gaze further down the beach.

Xander turned, following the woman’s glance, as the reality of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks….

“Oh, Shit.”

Strewn across the beach behind him was what looked to be nothing short of a war zone.

“This isn’t a dream, I was on a plane.”

A portion of the fuselage lay on the sand, ripped open on its side, like that of a beached whale. Numerous people, no…survivors, were staggering around. Smaller pieces of the plane were strewn about; small fires erupted where sparks came into contact with fuel that had leaked out of the now crumpled wings.

In the distance, he could hear people crying out for help amid the wreckage.

To his left, Xander saw a man running out of the jungle, heading for what looked to be the main crash site.

Grabbing the woman’s shoulders, Xander looked at her with his good eye.

“Is everything ok? Wait, dumb question, of course everything isn’t ok. How about... Are you hurt? I need to go see if I can help the others if you aren’t hurt. Do you need medical help?” He said, hoping she understood.

Slowly, the woman’s expression changed from the blank stare to that of recognition, shaking her head to indicate she was ok.

“Move further down the beach, away from the wreckage”, Xander yelled as he turned to follow the man, looking to see what he could do to help.

As Xander approached, the man from the jungle was struggling to pull an injured passenger out from under part of the wing.

“Help me get this off of him!” a black man said lifting up on a piece of wreckage that was pinning down an injured passenger. The man from the jungle pulled on the injured passenger, but the metal debris was too heavy and the black man was unable to lift it high enough to free him.

“Let me help” Xander said, joining the rescue effort. “On three! One…two…three!”

Slowly, the wing came up, giving the jungle guy enough clearance to pull the injured guy free.

Although, Xander wasn’t sure if the guy wouldn’t have been better off being left where he was. Luckily the guy had passed out from the pain. Both of his legs looked like they’d been put through a meat grinder, one leg was completely gone, and the other was so badly burned it had been stripped of a majority of the skin.

“He’s not going to make it.” Jungle guy said, looking over the wounded man’s legs.

“How do you know?” the black guy questioned.

“Femoral Artery is cut, he’s been bleeding out. Even with proper medical care, his chances of survival aren’t good.” The jungle guy replied, looking up to see where he should go next.

“You’re a doctor.” Xander said, his statement coming out more as a fact than as a question.

“Yea, I am.” replied jungle guy.

“I have to find my son.” The black guy said. “Have you seen him?”

“No, sorry.” Jack said.

“Can’t say that I have either.” Xander replied.

“Help! She’s not breathing!” a clean-cut looking guy yelled. Lying next to him was an elderly black woman.

“Hey, A little help over here for the pregnant chick!” yelled a big guy.

“Go help her.” Xander said to Jack, gesturing toward the pregnant girl. “I know CPR, I can help there.”

“All right, yell if you need help.” Jack replied darting over to assist the pregnant girl.

“Hey, what’s your name?” Xander yelled running to help the elderly black woman.

“Jack!” the doctor shouted back, sliding up to the pregnant girl & fat guy.

Once everyone was out of immediate danger, Xander set out to do what he did best, help those in need. The rest of the day went by like a blur for Xander, moving from person to person, doing what was necessary, whether it was bandaging a wound or offering a shoulder to cry on or a comforting word.

As evening fell, Xander sat down to watch the sun set over the ocean.

“Just a quick stop in Australia to get another new Slayer & back to the States, Will?” Xander said to himself “How did I know it wasn’t going to be that simple?”

*Begin Flashback*

Nairobi International Airport (Nairobi, Kenya)

Hiya Wills! Just figured I’d check in before hopping on my flight.

What do you mean you’ve been trying to get in touch with me for weeks?

Honestly, just how were you expecting to do that? You know what I’ve been doing down here.

Yea but finding new Slayers here isn’t like in Cleveland, Wills. You can’t just pick up the local paper & start looking for teenage girls who are breaking the school sporting records.


I’ve been tracking a nomadic tribe across the savannah! I was chased by Lions & Tigers, Wills!

Ha, ha Very funny, No there were no “Bears, Oh my!”

I’ve been living in a mud hut trying for the past month trying to convince a tribal witch doctor I wasn’t evil and trying to steal his daughter’s spirit!

He made me go through their tribes’ right of passage!

YES! It was that bad! It involved a blessing by an Elephant, and that was the EASY part!

Trust me Wills, going on ‘Fear Factor’ wouldn’t be a problem for me now. All I want to do is go relax on a beach where no one’s ever heard of Slayers for a while.

Buffy had a dream about another new Slayer? I’m really not up to telling another young girl she’s been drafted into our little war right now. Can’t you send Andrew?

I was in her dream? You sure it wasn’t just something she ate before bed?

A Prophesy too?!?! No, don’t tell me there’s a prophesy, there’s ALWAYS some prophesy.

You’ve got to be kidding. Are you sure it mentions me? Half the time I think Giles is just makes them up to get back at me for calling him “G-man” for all these years.

All right, hang on let me get a pen. O.k. I’m ready.

From Uluru and Kata Tjuta to the dominion of the Angels

A group shall fall into purgatory and be divided.

From what once was one and now are many,

A new warrior shall arise and need protection.

From the primeval tangle, –

The fallen shall rise and seek the scion

From the mouth of hell to the heart of Darkness.

The one who sees shall lead the path to the light.

That’s it? I don’t ….

Yea, I caught the whole “One who Sees” reference. But it doesn’t say anything about where to….

Oh, Ayer’s Rock Australia is Uluru. All right, I’ll go change my flight & head there.

Keep digging to see if you can’t figure out what I’m supposed to do when I get there.

*End Flashback*
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