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Wicked Weird

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Summary: Spike's adopted kids and Angel's biological son get to spend a fun-filled week helping out at the newly-reformed watcher's council.

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > Connor-CenteredechoFR1825,1773275,2793 Mar 0512 Apr 05No

1 of 7

disclamier: Not mine. The BtVS and AtS characters belong to Joss Whedon. The HP characters belong to JK Rowling. Wednesday belongs to Chas Addams.
note: This is the scary result of a conversation with Laura on what I'd like my kids to be like if I ever had any.

*~*~*~*

DAY ONE:

Spike looked at the two of them.

His own little hellions. It'd be sweet if they had not just gotten caught. He'd been completely jealous of Angel since meeting Connor and finding out who Connor really was. Now, due to some strange apocalypse with some dark wizard fellow, Spike had somehow ended up with two teenagers... the ones no one else would take. Or could take.

They'd turned a student into a frog at that school the boy went to. Which wasn't so bad. Witchcraft types did that sort of business, but it was a poisonous frog. The turned student had poisoned someone else. Granted the idiot had tried to EAT the frog-student, but still.

It had gotten Draco and Wednesday suspended.

He was quite proud actually. The two teenagers were total hurricanes of wickedness. He likely wasn't the best choice of guardian, but the three of them clicked like a wind-up watch. Draco was a brat, and Wednesday was twisted. And they were his.

"Well... I'd say I'm very disappointed in you lot, but that'd be a lie."

Draco exchanged a smirk with his 'sister'.

"None'a that though!" Spike pointed at them. "You shouldn't have gotten caught."

"How were we to know Gregory Goyle really would eat anything." Wednesday quipped in her dry tone.

"Agreed." Draco chimed in, sounding bored as he studied his manicured nails.

"No kids of mine are gonna be so sloppy."

"Technically we're not your children." Wednesday offered.

Draco mocked her. "Technically.... meh meh meh-meh..."

She turned her head to him. "Don't make me get my ax, Ferretboy."

"Bring it on, She-Snape."

The two of them then lunged at one another and began grappling. Draco didn't use his wand as much as he had when he'd first met Wednesday. She'd convinced him that getting physical sometimes held a greater satisfaction. They certainly liked to wrestle these days. Spike got all sorts of owls about the two of them having tussles in the hallways and such.

But he wasn't exactly in the mood for watching the spawn of his heart try to tear one another's hair out.

"There now!" He grabbed the back of Draco's black robes. "Cut that out!" He managed to catch one of Wednesday's raven braids. "I'm trying to scold you two little monsters for being wicked little spawns!"

"How's that working out for you, Spike?" Draco rasped.

"Pull harder." Wednesday said through her teeth.

"Bloody hell!" Spike tossed the both of them rather forcefully back onto the little sofa they'd been sitting on before they'd decided to wrestle. "You two have GOT to behave a little more... or stop getting caught."

"Spoil our fun."

"I'm serious, Draco!" Spike snapped. "They're talking about taking the two of you away from me!"

Wednesday bristled. "Let them try. I'm quite proficient with my crossbow."

"Wednesday, luv-"

"She's bloody well right!" Draco screeched. "Let them try to take us! I'll hex them! A lot!"

"Draco, now let's not-"

"No!" The boy started pacing furiously. "I lost my family once. I won't lose them again."

"Don't be such a drama queen, Draco." Wednesday deadpanned.

He pointed at her with that wand of his. "If you weren't my sister..."

Spike smiled sadly. He did so like the two of them.

*~*~*

Angel entered Spike's little house with Connor close on his heels. He and his son had been fairly pal-like since the averting of the apocalypse in Los Angeles some six months ago. Angel and the Reillys were furious about it, but Connor had decided to fight evil.

They both ducked when a small hatchet flew at them. It embedded itself in the door.

Connor looked up in shocked from where he was still on his hands and knees. "Whoa."

"You're not taking us." A dry, yet feminine, voice cooed from an unknown spot.

"Just try it, you manky bastards!"

"Will you two just calm the fuck down!" Came Spike's annoyed voice. "Bloody everlasting hell! It's just Peaches and his beget."

Two teenagers entered the entryway from different points. The boy was blonde as blonde ever was. He could have been a little Spike he was so blonde. The straight blonde locks hung in his gray eyes a bit. He was dressed typically full-on wizard. Robes and all. His wand was trained on Angel and Connor. The girl was compact and a bit curvy. She dressed younger than her age. Her jet-black hair fell in two braids. She wore a black dress that hit her about the knees with a white lace collar and cuffs. Her legs were encased in black tights, her feet in a heeled pair of mary janes that gave her a few more inches. One hand held an ax that was propped up on her shoulder. The other hand clutched a wicked-looking crossbow that was thankfully pointed at the floor. Her fingernails were perfectly painted a dark blood red.

Spike came from yet another point... looking exasperated. "Draco, put the wand away. No hexing yet. Wednesday, we don't throw hatchets at the guests... even if they just waltz on in without so much as a knock."

Connor got to his feet slowly and dusted off his jeans. Well, this was turning out to be more interesting than he'd been led to believe. Meeting his 'cousins'. That's what his dad had called it. The two of them actually made him feel normal to the point of being the freak in the room. And in a strange way... he felt kindred to them.

"Draco!" Spike barked. "Wand! Away!"

The boy actually sneered at his guardian before tucking his magical stick of wood away.

"And Wednesday, luv, would you please replace your bow and ax in your weapons chest. Please."

"If I must." She replied, smooth as silk, before heading up the stairs.

While she was gone, Angel actually managed to pick himself up from the floor. This was a bit creepy, but Spike's 'kids' were PERFECT for him. Better children could not have been chosen for someone with the name William the Bloody. They all just stood staring until Wednesday returned from tucking away her crossbow and ax.

It was awkward.

Connor stepped forward and held his hand out to Draco. "I'm Connor."

"I don't touch strange muggles."

That earned him a slap up the back of his head from Spike.

"Shit!"

Another slap.

"Dammit!"

"Bloody hell, Draco! Watch your damn mouth!"

Angel snorted.

"What?"

"You telling someone to watch their mouth, that's what." Angel made a face at him. "That's hypocritical, Spike."

"Oh well if that isn't the vampire calling the mosquito a bloodsucker."

"What?"

The 'kids' were watching the 'adults' with rapt fascination.

"Angel... how big of a fit did you pitch when forehead junior here..." He gestured to Connor. "Said he was gonna fight the good fight instead of be a full-time college student? How big was that fit?"

"We aren't talking about me."

Connor looked at his father. "You threw a big fit?"

"No."

Spike snorted. Loudly.

"It was a little one."

Connor rolled his eyes.

"I'm Wednesday. This is Draco."

Connor looked at her. He started to hold out his hand.

"I don't touch."

Connor retracted his hand.

"Good. All settled then." Spike announced. "The car will be here shortly."

"Settled?" Connor said

Draco bristled. "Car?"

"Shortly?" Wednesday droned.

"You lot are staying with the Watcher's Council this week."

Connor turned and looked at his father. "What?"

Wednesday showed no emotion.

Draco scowled like the devil. "What?"

"Surely you two didn't think a little suspension would be spent at home this week?" Spike folded his arms across his chest before looking at Connor. "And I suspect someone who shall remain brooding and largely foreheaded wants to show you EXACTLY what this good fight business you're trying to get into is all about. You lot are headed deep into slayer central. All the slayers and watchers in training you can stand... and likely a few you won't be able to."

"Bollocks." Draco muttered.

Wednesday's arms were folded across her chest in a mirror of Spike's. "Do I ate least get to take my weapon's chest?"

"Not the whole arsenal, pet."

"Crossbow?"

"Naturally. The blonde slayer wants to see how good you are with it. I've been bragging a bit."

"Ax?"

"No."

"Throwing knives?"

"What for?"

"For throwing, of course."

"No then."

"Dynamite?"

"No."

"Flame-thrower?"

"After what happened last time?"

"That was just a slight miscalculation."

"That burned down a nice portion of the Forbidden Forest."

"Well... I had to test it."

"No flame-thrower."

"Mini-guillotine?"

"For?"

"Fun."

"No. You will just have to make other fun, luv."

"You'll regret you said that." Draco quipped.

Spike pointed at them. "Your asses had better behave at this place. Giles doesn't put up with any malarky."

Angel looked at him oddly.

"What?!" Spike snapped.

"Did you just use the word malarky in a sentence?"

"Shut the hell up and fix your damned hair."

Angel's hands instantly went to his head. "What's wrong with my hair?"

Spike cackled like a hyena. Connor pursed his lips not to snicker.

"You bastard."

Spike chuckled. "Takes one to know one."

"Oh ha ha."

*~*~*~*

Connor couldn't get off the damn bus thing fast enough. His was seriously about to blow chunks. Of course Wednesday had thoroughly enjoyed the ride... though you wouldn't know it by her face, and Draco was STILL bitching about having to take 'public' transportation. They had been dropped off by the Knight Bus in front of a sort of nondescript older dwelling that looked like it could be something out of a Jane Austen novel. Stan Shunpike had assured them it was the Watcher's Council Headquarters.

"Interesting." Was Draco's only remark about it as Stan placed their trunks on the gravel drive.

"There aren't any gargoyles." Wednesday added.

"I wonder if Mr. Darcy's at home."

Draco and Wednesday looked at Connor in confusion. Was he the only one cursed with having to take a British Lit class the demanded a reading of Pride and Prejudice? Apparently so.

"Oh... nevermind."

"Are you guys the guys from Spike?" A girl with short red hair asked.

The three visitors didn't know it, but they involuntarily closed in ranks. They lessened the spaces between them warily. The girl before them noticed immediately.

"I'm Vi. I'm a slayer. Giles and Willow are waiting inside."

Connor looked down for a moment. He had a memory of Willow. Long red hair. Green eyes. Sweet face. She'd been perky. She'd helped restore his father's soul. She'd called him androgynous.

Giles. Giles was a watcher. That was what Wesley was. Had been. Connor felt a pang suddenly. He had not really known Wesley... but he had.

Unexpectedly, a hand was in his own. Connor looked. Wednesday was staring straight ahead with nothing on her face to give away what was going on in her head or heart. Her other hand was clutched firmly in one of Draco's.

"Our trunks..." Connor started.

"Got 'em." Vi said, then proceeded to very effortlessly bring the three trunks into the large house.

Connor, Wednesday, and Draco continued to 'circle their wagons' once they were in the very spacious entryway. Especially since the girl currently playing bellhop could probably bench press all three of them with little exertion.

"Lemme guess... Connor, Wednesday, and Draco?" Willow asked while pointing to each of them correctly. "But Connor and I have sorta met. Right? You 'member me?"

Connor nodded. There was a man standing next to her in a fair lot of tweed and a pair of glasses. This must be Giles.

Then he confirmed that. "I am Rupert Giles. This is Willow Rosenberg."

"The dark one." Draco said in awe.

"I don't like that nickname." Willow said. "Willow'll do."

"Draco hasn't been properly house trained." Wednesday quipped dryly.

"Shut up."

"Make me."

Draco grabbed for her. Connor was in between them before anyone else could move.

"Will you two give it a rest with the sibling rivalry?" He'd had just about enough of their physical tiffs on the bus... and they had not been on the bus for that long.

"If we must." Draco and Wednesday said in unison, Draco sounding bored, Wednesday sounding unmoved.

"Junior!"

Connor knew that voice. He looked up. Two women were coming down the stairs. One he recognized, one he did not.

"My name is Connor, Faith."

She grabbed his hand shook it, and pulled him into a half hug then punched his shoulder playfully. "You look like you're doin' good, kid."

"I can't complain."

Faith made a face. "Dude, you're Angel's kid... there's always gotta be SOMETHING to complain about."

Draco snorted.

The blonde next to Faith cleared her throat.

"Oh manners." Faith said. "Junior, this is Buffy. B, this is Connor."

Buffy? This was Buffy? THE Buffy? Connor shook her offered hand nervously.

"And you guys are Spike's kids?" Faith said to Draco and Wednesday with a wide smile on her face. "Get out."

Draco turned to leave. Wednesday stopped him.

"But she said..."

Wednesday just pinned him with a look. Connor didn't know how Draco figured it out what it meant because the look looked like all her other looks to Connor.

"I'm Draco Malfoy. This is Wednesday Addams, and yes, Spike is our adopted father. I don't see what's so humorous about it."

"Neither do I." Wednesday added in her usual dry tone.

"There now. There's nothing truly humorous about any of it." Giles said in an effort to smooth things over. "Faith didn't mean anything by it, did you Faith?"

"What? Oh hell no. I think it's real cool Spike's got himself two healthy little goth kids."

"They aren't goth." Connor defended. "Draco's a wizard, and Wednesday is... just Wednesday."

Draco and Wednesday both looked at Connor for this. Draco smirked, and Wednesday awarded him one of her rare Mona Lisa twitch smiles. In that moment Connor knew he'd made two friends he'd never have to hide any of either one of his lives from. It was rather fitting considering they were technically family.

"Me-ow." Faith said playfully. "Retract those claws, kitten. I didn't mean anything by it. Again."

"Just protecting my own."

Faith smiled at him in a knowing way. Connor had a feeling she felt she was 'their kind' as well. Their was a certain sort of kindred that came with having touched some darkness. He'd been to dark places. He knew Faith had from what he'd been told of her. He suspected Draco and Wednesday liked to live there.

*~*~*~*

He and Draco were given a room together. Wednesday had one to herself that connected to theirs through a shared bathroom. One she had settled, she was immediately through the door in their room. Connor noticed that despite all their bickering, Draco and his 'sister' tended to stay fairly close to one another.

None of them were really sure what they were doing here still. Connor knew Draco and Wednesday were being punished by Spike, and Connor suspected he was here as punishment as well, but so far it did not feel like a punishing.

Little did they know, that would soon be rectified.

*~*~*~*

Willow had come to lead them down to the big dining room for dinner. Apparently they were late. And all conversation halted abruptly as soon as they entered. Connor rolled his eyes. He HATED when people did that. It was so obvious they had been the topic of discussion before walking in. He was ever so tired of people talking about him in hushed tones.

Speaking of... Connor recognized another face at one of the tables. His father had not told him Gunn was here. Seeing Gunn somehow triggered memories of Fred. Fred. Winifred Burkle. She'd died.

Connor stumbled. Draco grabbed him.

"What's wrong?" The blonde boy hissed in... dare he suspect... concern.

"It's a very complicated story that I think you and Day need to hear before bed tonight." Connor swallowed the lump in his through. "Suffice it to say, a couple of things I might have forgotten once just snuck back into my memories."

"I hate it when that happens." Draco muttered.

Connor looked at him oddly.

"Let's just say I have a story too... deals with my biological father and memory charms."

Connor nodded.

"They're all staring." Wednesday whispered.

"It's 'cause they all fancy scary bints with their hair in braids."

Wednesday just stared. Connor chuckled and got a hold of his emotions again.

"Hey, Connor." Gunn offered weakly as the three sat down.

"Hey, Gunn." Connor said back. "This is Draco and Wednesday."

"Those your real names?"

"Is that your real face?" Wednesday quipped back.

There was a shuffle under the table.

"Wuss."

The there was another shuffle that resulted in Draco howling in pain and falling half under the table.

"Cut it out." Connor hissed.

"I don't have a knife... on me, but I certainly punched it. Will that do?"

"I mean it, Wednesday. You and Draco better cut that shit out or you'll be one sorry little girl because I'm stronger than I look."

"I certainly hope so."

He practically growled at her.

"Is that a promise?"

Connor finally lost the tentative hold on his temper and knocked her out of her chair. Then he went after her with his hands in neck-wringing form.

"Nobody hits my sister!" Draco shouted before jumping on Connor's back

"Back off, you dress-wearing pansy-ass!"

It took three slayers-in-training plus Willow and Faith to separate the 'Aurelius kids'. They were like a pack of rowdy puppies. After that... they were pretty much regulated to the very weird new kids.

And Faith just LOVED that they liked to knock each other around. They were her kind of kids.

*~*

end 1 of 7
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