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Summary: SG-1 do some thingy sitting for Thor, things go wrong as things will around that group, will Hammond be able to survive the following debacle (not the best summery but beggars cant be choosers

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Stargate > Dawn-CenteredfrogstompinfunFR1511,293083,4936 Mar 056 Mar 05No
Disclaimer: Do you think that if I owned either of these two Shows and there caricatures I would be sitting at home typing this……..

No I would be hanging out at the office instigating things like pant less Tuesdays and compulsory nudie Fridays. ^-^ (mmmm… pant less Jack -wipe off the chin drool-)

But I don’t so both Stargate and Buffy they belong to their respective creators.

On another note I am putting this out there to see what kind of a response I receive for it as an idea for a story, I don’t have a Beta as of yet but am working on it so patience please people and REVIW REVIEW REVIEW!

Love ya

Chapter One: On the evil of Paper

There are some very evil things in this life, Genocide, child abuse, murder, and right up there with them in Jack’s opinion was...paperwork... truly it was one of the great ones!

Colonel Jonathan (Jack) O'Neill pushed his chair back from his desk and tried to think of an excuse to get out of doing the one thing he had to do at the moment, seeing as Hammond had taken them of active duty (and the rest of SG-1) because they had not done any paperwork in the last seven missions.

He had stolen Caters reports and tried to copy off those but he couldn't pronounce or understand halve of the words she had used, Danny had hidden his so that he couldn't find them and Teal'c had written all of his in Gould Hieroglyphics, when the answer came from the heavens...literally and Jack found himself standing on the bridge of Thor's ship along with Sam, Danny and Teal'c

"Sir" said Cater looking a little confused

"Hyper-thyroid - sporadic - tension disorder Cater, that's just uncalled for" said Jack to his 2-IC,

"Uh guys,” piped up Danny but neither of them were paying any attention to him

"What it was one very reasonable explanation for his medical ailments and his behaviour Patten” she said defensively

"And what you couldn't just write he got sick and died" said Jack exasperatedly "I couldn't understand a word you had written

"Well you’re not meant to be copying what I wrote anyway,” said Sam

"What I wasn't I was just checking to make sure you’re spelling was all right before I handed it into Hammond!" he said trying to sound innocent, and failing

"Oi!! Look," said Daniel, raising his voice to be heard over his team-mates’ banter.

Floating in the middle of their room was a green ball of energy,

"Jack O'Neil, Samantha Cater, Daniel Jackson, Tealc it is good to see you all once again" said Thor making his way slowly into the room

"Thor old' buddy it's good to see you, I like your new...thing it really livens the place up " said Jack still looking at the green energy ball

"It is not a... thing it belongs to the ancients, many years ago when our people were still young and had not finished developing into our evolved state the ancients left in our care this artefact of great power, but now unfortunately we must devote all of our time to the fight with the replecators and have no time to care for it, so we would like to ask you to please take it back to earth with you and see to it's protection" said Thor

"Uhh, what is it exactly?" asked Sam

"The knowledge of the device was lost many years ago,” said Thor apologetically

"So you have been protecting this thing for as long as you can remember and you don't even know what it is!" exclaimed Daniel

"That is correct, it shall cause no harm to you or the people of earth, as long as we have been in it's possession it has been as it has ever been and has not changed, but we must make this decision quickly as I am being called to join my fellow Asguard as soon as possible" said Thor reassuringly.

SG-1 formed a huddle,

"Well I trust Thor, if he says it wont harm us then I am inclined to believe him" said Jack

"I to trust the supreme Commanders Judgement" said Tealc

"It would be fascinating to be able to study an artefact of the ancients,” agreed Sam

"I'm with you three on this and well we owe him a few anyway,” said Daniel shrugging, Jack turned back to Thor

"Ok little buddy, you have a deal" said Jack

"Then as the devices protectors you four shall have to step forward and touch it so it may read you genetic makeup and recognise you" said Thor, they stepped forward and each laid a hand upon it, Jack was surprised at how cold it was for a pulsing ball of energy, as they all touched it Jack realised he couldn't pull his hand away and suddenly the ball began to change.

Were Jacks hand touched it the colour changed to purple, Sam's part turned Silver, Daniel a rich chocolate and Tealc gold, then all the colours swirled together and the ball was absorbed into them equally

"What the hell just happened!!" exclaimed Jack swearing loudly

"The artefact will re-shape itself in a few hours into something you will be able to protect on earth, something that will promote the need in you to protect, so it has been for every carer” said Thor explaining

"It would have been nice to know that would have happened before we touched the thingy" said Jack

"So we just head home and sit around in a room for a few hours waiting for something to show up” said Daniel taking off his glasses and wiping them on a handkerchief

"Yes that is the way, and I am sorry but I must leave you now as I am much eagerly needed on the front against the replicators" said Thor apologetically

"Ok beam us home Scotty" said Jack and next he was gone as quickly as he had arrived.


"So you all touched the ball and then it just disappeared?" said Hammond

"Not really sir it didn't just disappear it absorbed into our skin,” said Sam

"Are you saying that what ever Thor had you touch is now in you" exclaimed Hammond thinking about all of the things SG-1 had gotten them-selves into and shuddered at the thought

"Right then down to the infirmary and see Janet for some tests I want to make sure that you all are unaffected and able to stay active"

"Sir" said Jack in what sounded very close to a whine from his 2ic

"No ifs, buts or Gould mother ship attacks get your self down to the infirmary now" said Hammond

Jack could swear that every time that he came in here Janet made the needles bigger and sharper, Daniel would try to make you believe that this was not actually possible but he knew the truth,

'Well preliminary test are complete and as far as I can tell you are all fine the only problem that I can detect is that you Sir she said indicating Jack have a slight calcium and folate deficiency but nothing that cant be cured with some extra milk and lots of bananas" she said shutting her folder with a snap

"Yah so we can go and play now can we huh, huh mum!" said Jack in his little kiddie voice

"Commander" said Janet in her best no nonsense voice

"See you later Janet,” said Sam towing her CEO out after her

"So what now we just sit around and wait? Thor really didn't give us much of a time frame" said Daniel

"I suppose we really don't have much of a choice do we! Well campers let's at least head for the mess that way I can eat while we wait,” sighed Jack.

So endeth the chapter that is one …

The End?

You have reached the end of "fan-freaking-tastic" – so far. This story is incomplete and the last chapter was posted on 6 Mar 05.

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