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Blonde Troubles

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Summary: Online chatroom where people can talk about their respective blondes and seek advice if needed or simply vent

Categories Author Rating Chapters Words Recs Reviews Hits Published Updated Complete
Multiple Crossings > GeneralziliFR1322,6360153,05513 Mar 0515 Mar 05Yes

Blonde Troubles

Title: Blonde Troubles

Author: Zili

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don’t own any characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Stargate SG-1, Harry Potter, or Labyrinth. They belong to nice people who make lots of money off them unlike me.

Challenge: 813

Online Chatroom conversations, wherein the characters can vent, swap stories, and seek advice pertaining to their respective Blondes.

Must Have:

Spike, talking about Buffy.

And two or more of the following characters:

Lex Luthor, talking about Chloe Sullivan (Smallville)

Logan Echolls, talking about Veronica Mars (Veronica Mars)

Jack, talking about Sam (Stargate SG1)

Gil Grissom, talking about Catharine Willows (CSI)

Harry Potter, talking about Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter)

Luke Girardi, talking about Grace Polk (Joan of Arcadia)

Seth Cohen, talking about Ryan Attwood (The O.C.)

Other (one that I haven’t thought of.)


The pairings don’t have to be romantic, but I would prefer it if some of them were, use your discretion.

Characters must use interesting handles, both for themselves and their Blondes.

Must contain at least two mentions of character appropriate weirdness. Ex: Demons, Magic, Wormholes, Other planets, Other Dimensions, Meteor freaks, etc.

Can be a one-shot, or chapter by chapter pov style.

Try for humour over angst.


For Spike he’s in Angel and it’s after he’s learned how to touch things, let’s just pretend he types really slowly. Dawn is also in the same timeline as Spike which means that she’s in Rome.

For Stargate it’s before Daniel’s ascended and after SG-1 having to meet with the Tok’ra not a definite episode

For Harry he’s out of Hogwarts and he has already defeated Voldemort. Draco was a spy for the good, currently they’re both aurors and someone decided to partner them together

Lastly for Labyrinth Sarah decided to go back afterwards to Jareth but every once and a while she leaves because Jareth pisses her off.

Screen names are

Spike—The Big Bad

Jack—God of Fishing


Dawn—Universe’s Key

Sarah—Goblin Queen

And now the story--------------------------------------------

The Big Bad has entered Blonde Troubles

God of Fishing has entered Blonde Troubles

The Big Bad: Hey Fishing Boy

God of Fishing: Hey Golden Boy

The Big Bad: Minion

God of Fishing: Goodie Two Shoes

The Big Bad: Pillock

God of Fishing: Sheep, so you going to e-mail her?

The Big Bad: I don’t know. I mean I’d have to find someone who knows her e-mail address…

God of Fishing: Didn’t she say she loved you?

The Big Bad: Yea but I told her no she didn’t before I left and she thinks I’m dead anyway

God of Fishing: You never know if you don’t try besides I thought you were the big bad. You scared of a little blonde girl?

The Big Bad: What about your blonde then aye?

God of Fishing: *frown* She’s mad at me because I took my gameboy on our latest mission to see our allies and started playing in the middle of discussions

The Big Bad: nice

God of Fishing: Then she plotted with the space monkey and once we got back they hid

my game boy from me

The Big Bad: Why don’t you corner her and make her tell you where it is?

God of Fishing: I tried but she started talking about quantum theories so I ran away

The Big Bad: What about the space monkey?

God of Fishing: She’s hiding him in her lab where I can’t get to him

The Big Bad: use chains

God of Fishing: How many times do I have to tell you chains are not the answer to


The Big Bad: It worked when you threatened space monkey didn’t it

God of Fishing: That was space monkey. The scientist is completely different.

The Big Bad: sing

God of Fishing: sing?

The Big Bad: off-key, where many people can be annoyed and when they tell you to stop

say you can’t, not until the scientist gives you back your gameboy

Slayer_of_Voldemort has entered Blonde Troubles

Slayer_of_Voldemort: You giving advice again Bad, chains do not solve everything

The Big Bad: They do if you use them in the right way

God of Fishing: do not

The Big Bad: do

God of Fishing: not

The Big Bad: do

God of Fishing: not

The Big Bad: do

God of Fishing: I can’t argue with you right now I have a gameboy to save

God of Fishing has left Blonde Troubles

Slayer_of_Voldemort: gameboy to save?

The Big Bad: His scientist hid it from him

Slayer_of_Voldemort: Oh

The Big Bad: Oh the poof’s back, he yelling at me to get away from his desk. Gotta go.

The Big Bad has left Blonde Troubles

Universe's Key has entered Blonde Troubles

Slayer_of_Voldemort: Key

Universe's Key: Hey Harry

Slayer_of_Voldemort: They made us bloody partners!

Universe's Key: Oh Harry

Slayer_of_Voldemort: and you know what he did, he charmed my hair green

Universe's Key: Why?

Slayer_of_Voldemort: I don’t know maybe because he’s a Malfoy

Universe's Key: That’s not a reason

Slayer_of_Voldemort: and you know what his bloody cousin Tonks said? “You two look so cute together”

Universe's Key: lol and

Slayer_of_Voldemort: he made silver streaks appear in my hair and said “But of course, I always look cute when I’m with someone wearing Slytherin colors”

Universe's Key: He likes you

Slayer_of_Voldemort: does not

Universe's Key: You like him

Slayer_of_Voldemort: do not

Universe's Key: Why don’t you ask him out already

Slayer_of_Voldemort: will not

Universe's Key: scared

Slayer_of_Voldemort: am not

Universe's Key: stupid boy

Slayer_of_Voldemort: hey!

Universe's Key: You know if you weren’t British…

Slayer_of_Voldemort: I know I know. You ever going to tell me your blonde’s name?

Universe's Key: Maybe, I just don’t want to say it just yet, maybe tomorrow

Slayer_of_Voldemort: That’s what you always say

Goblin Queen has entered Blonde Troubles

Goblin Queen: Hey Key, Harry

Slayer_of_Voldemort: Hi

Universe's Key: What did he do this time?

Goblin Queen: He decided to go down memory lane without telling me.

Slayer_of_Voldemort: I take it he didn’t use a pensive

Goblin Queen: No he didn’t. He went and kidnapped my brother Toby again and made me go through the labyrinth again and don’t you dare laugh Key or I’ll tell Toby not to talk to you for a month

Universe's Key: But… *pout* fine

Slayer_of_Voldemort: So what happened?

Goblin Queen: When I was suppose to say you have no power over me, I kicked him in the


Slayer_of_Voldemort: Ouch!

Universe's Key: Yeah but I bet he’ll think twice before doing anything like that again. So how long are you going to stay out this time?

Goblin Queen: I think about a month. I wanted to spend some time with Toby and my parents anyway

Slayer_of_Voldemort: That sounds like fun

Goblin Queen: Yeah well I just wanted to vent before I went out to diner with my family

Universe's Key: feel better?

Goblin Queen: Much

Goblin Queen: Well Toby’s telling me it’s time to go so I’ll talk to guys later.

Universe's Key: Tell Toby I said hi

Goblin Queen: Kay. Night Key, Harry

Slayer_of_Voldemort: have fun

Goblin Queen has left Blonde Troubles

Slayer_of_Voldemort: Actually I have to go too. Malfoy just flooed in.

Universe's Key: ask him out

Slayer_of_Voldemort: Shut up Key!

Universe's Key: Hey Malfoy

Slayer_of_Voldemort: Good bye Key

Slayer_of_Voldemort has left Blonde Troubles

Universe's Key: Harry wants to ask you out

Universe's Key: damn missed him

The Big Bad has entered Blonde Troubles

The Big Bad: Dawn?

Universe's Key: How do you know my name?

The Big Bad: You should know mine

Universe's Key: Spike?

The Big Bad: Hey niblet

Universe's Key: How?

The Big Bad: Magic

Universe's Key: Why didn’t you call to tell us you were back?

The Big Bad: I wasn’t sure how you and Buffy would react

Universe's Key: She misses you

The Big Bad: I miss her too when I first came back all I wanted to do was find her make

sure she was okay

Universe's Key: *pout*

The Big Bad: you too where there’s a Buffy there’s a Dawn

Universe's Key: Where are you?

The Big Bad: Stuck in L.A. with Captain Forehead

Universe's Key: Do you want me to tell her, we could fly there and come get you?

The Big Bad: No

Universe's Key: Why not?

The Big Bad: I’m not sure I want her to see me

Universe's Key: But…

The Big Bad: Please Dawn, I’ll talk to her when I’m ready for now I’ll just do with talking about her here

Universe's Key: lol

The Big Bad: What’s funny?

Universe's Key: I’m probably the only one here who’s blonde is complaining about another blonde

The Big Bad: Hey blondes are allowed to complain about other blondes and technically I’m a brunette

Universe's Key: *sticks out tongue*

God of Fishing has entered Blonde Troubles

God of Fishing: The bad singing worked and now the general made the scientist promise to never take my gameboy again.

The Big Bad: told you

Universe's Key: lol


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